Monday, April 21, 2008

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If October doesn't hate me too much, I'd like to speak with her. Please email me, if that's alright.

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Friday, April 18, 2008

October

Agony So many clean, pure pages Have known the tears and the cries Of the broken hearted. Yet, has ever a page had to endure The bitter taste of the one Who is breaking a heart? And has the broken hearted Ever heard the sobs Of her tormentor? Can it be fathomed that The pages belonging to A thoughtless monster Might be more tear-stained Than her own? Books upon books are filled With the pain of love lost; Has ever the tale been told Through the perpetrator’s eyes? Can anyone know of The agony of the hands That tear apart a heart? Can you know that hurting you Is crushing my soul? Goodbye my October, forgive me not, for I'm only leaving an angel. Please know that I will always believe in you. I know that anything you put your mind to you will accomplish. You are the most amazing girl I have ever met, and I will never forget you, your name will be written on my soul for the rest of my life. I will always be your Rosie.

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Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Well dearies, I can't be on today, I'll be gone until real late tonight, I've got youth group and stuff to do with my momma. Uh, so yeah, I must be going, I love you all bunches and oodles! OH! But I leave you with these lyrics, because even though their dirty, their really clever! So me likes! Haha! Uhn Tiss Uhnt uhnt uhnt baby Dog will hunt i'm the front end loader travoltin' over so try my slam on for size Drive stick with that kung-fu grip let the banana split and watch it go right to your thighs Cop a feel copperfield style abracadabra that bra do you think i can pull it off? Wanna bang around? just jot me down on your to-do list under "put out like a fire" 'cause I got somethin' and it goes thumpin' like this All you need is my uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss I got somethin' and it goes thumpin' like this All you need is my uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss Uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss baby Edible strange how do i get in your pants when you're tick tockin' them Serious levis so tight can't be classified that's why i'm here to fill that opening Make a seasoned pass to mount that ass and bob hope that i might one night stand a chance Let's go feng shui the fuck around my digs like a superball bring that sunny side up and I got somethin' that keeps girl thumpin' like this All you need is my uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss I got somethin' that keeps girl thumpin' like this All you need is my uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss Uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss baby Uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss baby uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss Uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss baby uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss I got somethin' that keeps girl thumpin' like this All you need is my uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss I got somethin' that keeps girl thumpin' like this All you need is my uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss Uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss baby

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Tuesday, April 15, 2008

   Cage

Hola. So I'll be on tonight for a short while, and I'll finally get the chance to listen to my dear koishii's messages, I'm very excited! I don't have much to say today, everything has been kinda blah. Um, I do miss Amanda very much, who is at the doctor today. I want to tell you that I'm kinda sorry I mentioned my dream, I think it upset you, and I'm sorry for that. I shoulda talked to you before I mentioned anything to Justine, I just got too excited when I saw her. I'm very sorry about that. I hope you feel better soon. Uh, ya, I'm so ready to get outa here. And by 'here' I mean my house. Here's a song for you, I've never heard of the artist, but I think I'll look them up tonight. The Cage By: Sonata Arctica A lifetime ago, with frozen eyes they closed the doors. Suddenly I realized what locks are for, no trusting them anymore. "lights are out". Empty stare, innocent and unaware, dragged out from my home, my lair. Earmarked me, hurt me, burned me. The walls around me, eyes surround me, feed my fear again. I must be freed or I will die before the harvest moon, my friend. I do not have another year in me, you've gotta set me free. The dream is alive, I can run up the hills every night, go around and see another side of the tree. Freedom has a meaning for me, howl with me. Fear in the dark "I advise you". Can't see the eyes "they glow behind you"... It's my song that now I sing to you. You stand no chance.... They'll kill for me, steal back my freedom, set me free, it's my minions versus thee. Fiery the vengeance, hate will drain me. The walls around me, eyes surround me, feed my fear again. I must be freed or I will die before the harvest moon, my friend. I do not have another year in me, you've gotta set me free. The dream is alive, I can run up the hills every night, go around and see another side of the tree. All I want is to be untamed and free, howl and (dream). The dream is alive, with the moon on the hills every night, run around and see another side of the tree. Freedom has a meaning for me, you can't tame me... You will remember the day you crossed my path. leaving me without guard now you'll feel my wrath. What you have done to me has made me bitter and cruel. I'll see that all the hate you spread returns to you... you... to you! The walls around me, eyes surround me, feed my fear again. I must be freed or I will die before the harvest moon, my friend. I do not have another year in me, you've gotta set me free. The dream is alive, I can run up the hills every night, go around and see another side of the tree. All I want is to be untamed and free, howl and (dream). The dream is alive, with the moon on the hills every night, go around and see another side of the tree. Freedom has a meaning for me... That's a long song that is. Hm. Well I guess I'm off for now, I have to comment peeps, October darling, I'll email you tonight! I love you all. Ato!

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Monday, April 14, 2008

   Work Like the Rent is Due!

Oh, haha, I totally forgot to post on Friday! Haha, oops! Well, I'm in a much better mood now, mostly cuz I got to talk with my sweet, sweet October over the weekend, cuz she can email now! *jumps up and down* AND! I had this kickass dream! Apanda knows what I'm talking about and I'd like to say that seriously, you wouldn't even know I was there and I'd only come out of my room to cook you guys dinner and stuff and then it'd be cheaper for all of us to have three in an apartment!!!!! Pretty please?!?!? And for all I know, this could not work out with me, I mean, I just had a dream, so something could go wrong, and I won't get to go to Harper... and then you'd have Justine all to yourself anyway... ^_^ So yeah. I've got work today, hence the title above, so I gotta leave early. October darling, I'll be emailing you later tonight, (yay!) so don't you worry! But I've got a song for you right now, enjoy! My mom used to sing this to me every night when I was little, and someday I'll sing it to you, but until then, I have the lyrics! You are my sunshine My only sunshine You make me happy When skies are grey You'll never know dear How much I love you Please don't take my sunshine away... Have an amazing day my sunshine! And Apanda, I love you bunches and oodles!

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Thursday, April 10, 2008

   Shoot Me Now

Yeah, so I got in a fight with my mom, and she's not letting me have my alone day, so I can't get on today. I've been having a really hard week, and then with my mom not letting me have my sanity, it just makes everything so much worse. I want to cry. I'm trying so hard not to be depressing right now, but I just can't, and I'm so sorry. I just need to get away. I wish I could just go to college now, but I have to wait another year. I feel like I can't do it. I NEED to get out of this cage! Fuck, I'm so sick of this. I'm gonna go crazy. I already am crazy, I'm just holding everything in. I need to get out. I can't do this. I can't. I love you so much Apanda, I'm sorry your happiness only lasted like two days. I love you anyway. October, I wrote you a poem, but I can't get it to you cuz it's on my home computer, which I can't get on today. The next chance I have is Tuesday, possibly Monday. I miss you so much it's driving my crazy. I hope you are having a good time, I pray that you've been smiling and thinking of me often! I'll talk to you later my beloved. I miss you. Bye my pretties.

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Tuesday, April 8, 2008

   Wednesday

Hey, I just quick have to let you know that I won't be on tomorrow because of my mom. I will try uber hard to get on Thursday. October, I miss you SO much and I'm so sorry I haven't PMed you but I did not get a chance today and I won't tomorrow either and I hate that. I'm so sorry, but I need to go now, please know that I miss you and I would give anything to PM you right now! Bye love, wait for me and have a good day, alright?

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   Thank You

I'm sorry, I'm so sorry about yesterday's post, I didn't mean to worry anyone. I was just having a bad couple of days and I didn't have time to explain myself because Tony might be breaking up with his boyfriend and this time he actually needed me. The only reason I have time today is because I'm actually typing part of this on Monday night, and I'm home sick today. So the weekend started off fantastic to be honest. I went over to my best friend Gloria's house for a sleepover since we never see each other in school anymore. Apanda, don't get mad! We've been planning this sleepover for ages and the date was set a long time ago! I'm still trying to figure out that sleepover with you. It's hard cuz with the schedule at work, we only know two weeks at a time and I want it to be a Friday night so we can do that all day with/without make-up thing! I'm doing my best! Don't give up on me yet! Anywayz, so I'm at Gloria's house and we watched the entire Star Wars saga, all six movies! It was fucking awesome! We didn't sleep at all until like ten on Saturday morning! Haha, I know! We're the biggest nerds! But it was amazing, and in between movies we would have the best conversations! We can talk about everything, even thoughts we haven't formulated in our heads yet! Just speaking without thinking or having to modify your words so your companion can understand, none of that, just total understanding. I fucking love this girl! She's just fantastic, and I am beyond grateful to have a friend like her. I know that I will know her until my dying day. It's just something that I'm sure of. And Apanda, she and I were talking about you, about how honest and real you are and utterly human. I was telling her about how while I've really only been friends with you for a few months, I feel like I've known you forever, and I am so grateful for your honesty with me and so thankful that you have opened up to me so trustingly. I want to grow old with you too Apanda, I want to know you the rest of my life, okay? But I digress... So yeah, the weekend started so great, but then Suday sucked ass! Oh my Lord! I posted the 'My Loveless Name' because my mom, she convinced me of it. Utterly. The entire day she let me know just how thoughtless I am. You know how sometimes when someone says something enough that you start to believe it? Yeah. So that began my shitty couple of days. I don't even remember everything that happened. Just little things here and there that picked at my already bleeding heart. And I'm so sorry if I worried any of you, it wasn't my intention at all. And I wish I could be happier right now, because October, I really hate to make you sad or worry you, but sometimes we just gotta go through a 'life sucks' week or two. But I'll get better, of course, because that's what I do. So thank you October for posting all those youtube videos to cheer me up, and also for all the voice messages you sent me, I'll be able to look at them tonight, Lord willing! And thank you to Apanda for smiling at me even if you aren't feeling well either and for letting me hug you in the halls for an awkwardly long time without any apparent reason. I am so grateful. To both of you. Here's some lyics that fit: Thank You by: Led Zeppelin If the sun refused to shine, I would still be loving you. When mountains crumble to the sea, there will still be you and me. Kind woman, I give you my all, Kind woman, nothing more. Little drops of rain whisper of the pain, tears of loves lost in the days gone by. My love is strong, with you there is no wrong, together we shall go until we die. My, my, my. An inspiration is what you are to me, inspiration, look... see. And so today, my world it smiles, your hand in mine, we walk the miles, Thanks to you it will be done, for you to me are the only one. Happiness, no more be sad, happiness....I'm glad. If the sun refused to shine, I would still be loving you. When mountains crumble to the sea, there will still be you and me. I have to leave now, but if all goes according to plan, I'll be on again tonight. Maybe I'll even get to watch 'The L Word' on Veoh. Bye my pretties, thank you for being here.

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Monday, April 7, 2008

   .

My Loveless name is Thoughtless: Lacking in consideration for others; inconsiderate, rude, selfish: Characterized by or showing lack of thought; reckless, rash: Not thinking enough; careless or heedless: Devoid of or lacking capacity for thought; stupid.

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Friday, April 4, 2008

Eeep!

I totally lost track of time! I just need to say that I'll be gone the whole weekend and I'm sorry, but there's nothing I can do about it! Sorry! I'll be back Monday! And I'm so glad that Apanda is feeling better! Yay! I'll miss you so much October, wait for me, and have a fantabulous weekend! I'll be thinking about you every night! Bye you guys! I love you all!

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