Monday, February 11, 2008

   ICKY!

Yeah, everyone is sick today. I spent the entire weekend throwing up. I'm probably like two pounds lighter, but not in a healthy way. DALE AND ROSS ARE GOING TO STATE!!! YES!!! That was the highlight of my weekend. Um, so I know I posted about my lemon last time, but I was stupid and forgot to mention that it is on my other website which is linked on this page. It's up on the left in the 'Contact Me' section. So if you feel like checking it out, then awesome!!! Lyrics to a great song by some guy you've never heard of!! Existence You come into the threshold of another starless night of fear You're running from the demons that would drag you down again Illusions of the world are spinning out of time and frame and simplicity You're so sad You're such a sad-eyed girl You're so sad in your sub-plot Chorus: What is this, what is this, this mess of my existence is All these politics of life and death and relevance It's my existence Another morning it comes running up your bedpost with the wind You face yourself just like you always do, time and time again The mortal coil of image, inner peace and satisfaction You're so sad You're such a sad-eyed girl You're so sad in your sub-plot Chorus What is this, what is this, this mess of my existence is All these politics of life and death and relevance It's my existence Oh just take it all, make it work and make some sense Just take it all, You're my existence You're my existence Yep. I have a lot of PMing to do, and my fav fanfic was updated, so I must leave! But Justine, you GOTTA read these fanfictions: Touched http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4012518/1/ First Contact http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3931562/1/ They are the best Aizen x Gin fanfics ever!!! It's the same story, but Touched is from Gin's POV and First Contact is Aizen's. It's really amazing. And the author updates once a week. KK, I leave you all now! Love ya! Because no matter how many times I see it, I love it! *winks*

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Friday, February 8, 2008

   LEMON LEMON LEMON LEMON LEMON!!!!!!!

Hi there! I warn you in advance so you do not take offense, I only have time to post today, no time for commenting or PMing, so sorry! I love you all, and I’ll talk to you on Monday! For those of you who don’t know, not that you care, but whatever, Hissori Masurao is Japanese for Quiet Warrior. Yeah. I’m not just some psycho that wanted to steal an anime name. So I feel like shit today. Not mentally, just physically. I kinda spent all last night puking my brains out. Tons of fun. But I’m still in school today because I’ll be dammed if I miss the last wrestling meet I’ll ever manage for a stupid sickness. And yes, I am insane. Deal with it. On the really, really good side, in between bouts of nausea, I did manage to type up my ever so sour and juicy lemon!!!! YES!!! >= ) (that’s supposed to be an evil smiley). Um, I haven’t edited it, or even looked it over, it’s just typed. IT IS NOT MY FINALY DRAFT! It’s not even my best lemon. So please, forgive the fact that it might have run on sentences, bad use of grammar, be completely unimaginative, and all around suck. I’ll edit it later. In the mean time, I posted it on my other website for you all to go peruse my very odd mind. So check it out! (Yeah Amanda, you finally get to read it!) Cool. Um, still feeling emo, cuz I’m all sick and stuff, so I post more lyrics! I know, I’m a total copycat. The Way I Am If you were falling, then I would catch you. You need a light, I'd find a match. Cuz I love the way you say good morning. And you take me the way I am. If you are chilly, here take my sweater. Your head is aching, I'll make it better. Cuz I love the way you call me baby. And you take me the way I am. I'd buy you Rogaine when you start losing all your hair. Sew on patches to all you tear. Cuz I love you more than I could ever promise. And you take me the way I am. You take me the way I am. You take me the way I am. I just think this song is adorable. It makes me smile whenever I hear it. So I’m sharing the love!!! Everyone have a fantabulous weekend! I’ll talk to everyone on Monday! Love you bunches!

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Thursday, February 7, 2008

EMO!

Okay! Everyone is all emo today, and since I can't 'beat 'em' I'll join them! Emo time! Um. Yeah. Lyrics? Let's start off depressing, and then end with how I feel. From my favorite band Skillet: "Forsaken" I recall going madly in love with you And I remember this How could I forget? Regret is a needle In my neck It's slowly filling me With poison Spreading to my chest Take my pain and numb me from this Why do I have to beg When all that's left Is a memory Forsaken [2x] I recall pledging my sole devotion to you It reminds me how Now I'm on my knees My guilt consumes Lost the will in me Wasting away before you Hold me closer please Take my pain and numb me from this Why do I have to beg When all that's left Is a memory Forsaken [2x] Yeah, yeah, yeah You break me Forsake You break me [2x] You're breaking me I recall going madly in love with you And I remember this... Tell me Why do I have to beg When all that's left Is a memory Forsaken [2x] Yeah, yeah, yeah Forsaken Yeah, yeah, yeah Tell me why, why, why, why? This is screamo, by the way. Um. So really, that song is for anyone, but I guess I kinda thought about Justine, and how she might be feeling. Next, still depressing, but a little more uplifting, nonetheless: "Imperfection" You're worth so much It'll never be enough To see what you have to give How beautiful you are Yet seem so far from everything You're wanting to be You're wanting to be Tears falling down again Tears falling down You fall on your knees You beg, you plead "Can I be somebody else For all the times I hate myself?" Your failures devour your heart In every hour, you're drowning In your imperfection You mean so much That heaven would touch The face of humankind for you How special you are Revel in your day You're fearfully and wonderfully made You're wonderfully made Tears falling down again Come let the healing begin You fall on your knees You beg, you plead "Can I be somebody else For all the times I hate myself?" Your failures devour your heart In every hour, you're drowning In your imperfection You're worth so much So easily crushed Wanna be like everyone else No one escapes Every breath we take Dealing with our own skeletons, skeletons You fall on your knees You beg, you plead "Can I be somebody else For all the times I hate myself?" Your failures devour your heart In every hour, you're drowning In your imperfection Won't you believe, yeah Won't you believe, yeah All the things I see in you You're not the only one You're not the only one Drowning in imperfection So I had Amanda in mind for this one, although, it could go for anyone. I used to listen to this song whenever I felt like I wanted to do something stupid. Not saying that Amanda wants to do anything stupid! Just that, well, I thought she might be feeling like this. NOW! To how I feel about Justine and Amanda! "The Last Night" You come to me with scars on your wrist You tell me this will be the last night feeling like this "I just came to say goodbye I didn't want you to see me cry, I'm fine" But I know it's a lie. [Chorus:] This is the last night you'll spend alone Look me in the eyes so I know you know I'm everywhere you want me to be. The last night you'll spend alone, I'll wrap you in my arms and I won't let go, I'm everything you need me to be. Your parents say everything is your fault But they don't know you like I know you They don't know you at all I'm so sick of when they say "It's just a phase, you'll be o.k. you're fine" But I know it's a lie. [Chorus:] This is the last night you'll spend alone Look me in the eyes so I know you know I'm everywhere you want me to be. The last night you'll spend alone, I'll wrap you in my arms and I won't let go, I'm everything you need me to be. The last night away from me [Bridge:] The night is so long when everything's wrong If you give me your hand I will help you hold on Tonight, Tonight. [Chorus:] This is the last night you'll spend alone Look me in the eyes so I know you know I'm everywhere you want me to be. The last night you'll spend alone, I'll wrap you in my arms and I won't let go, I'm everything you need me to be. I won't let you say goodbye, I'll be your reason why. The last night away from me, Away from me. Minus, the whole parents thing, and the scars, and the saying goodbye... I feel like this song fits. You know, the feeling. So that's emo me. Sorta. Well, more like 'I care too much about people, but I'm not gonna stop' me. If that makes sense. I Love You! DAMMIT!

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Tuesday, February 5, 2008

Down

Yeah, so I'm leaving up my post from yesterday, because no one commented on it. :P

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Monday, February 4, 2008

   Sad.

Sorry I haven't been on all weekend! I can't really get on this website unless I'm at school. Lo siento. Yeah, and pretty soon I won't be on much at all. Because wrestling is over and I won't be able to stay after school. So until I get a laptop, you won't hear much from me. Which won't be till about next year. *sigh* My alone day sucked because of the snow. I usually like snow, but on Thursday I cursed it. Both my parents had to stay home, so I ended up typing one paragraph of my six story collection of fanfictions. Damn. Then Friday came. A snow day. That I didn't get to have. My mom still made me do school. And then clean the bathroom. I didn't even get to play in the snow. Saturday was the most boring and uneventful wrestling Regionals I have ever scored. Then I came home and the sucky part started. So Amanda already knows this, so she can skip this paragraph! *winks* My stepcousin was murdered. Yep. I never met him because he lived in Oregon, but my mom met him this year. He just got married. He has a six month old daughter. His band was playing for open mic night at a bar and a fight broke out. The place cleared out but the fight continued outside. So he tried to break it up, and they all turned on him. They beat him to death. Everyone is kinda in shock right now. Sorry this post is so depressing. I just need to process this, so I typed it out. My pastor's mom died this weekend too. I'm just a bundle of joy today aren't I? Well, I'll do my best to end on a happy note. So I found this Bible College in Japan a little while ago that I fell in love with. Justine and Amanda know what I'm talking about. My mom turned it down flat just becasue it was Evangelical. I was really frustrated with her so I finally cracked Thursady night and did some research. I put together a decent argument why my mom should at least let me consider the College and spewed it to her at ten o'clock at night. We argued for two hours. I won. My mom will consider it. Ha. Haha. MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! *bows* Thus, I am relatively happy. The End. Hm. And even though I haven't been into Harry Potter for years, I found this picture and had a mild orgasm when I saw it. Mmmmmm.

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Thursday, January 31, 2008

   Hm, Dirty...

Okay! Well, today is my Alone Day so naturally I'm a very happy little lady, and I have a lot of things on my To-Do list. I snuck home all my dirty stories from school, and I'll be typing as many of them as I can tonight. So check out my other website, because I might just post one of my smut scenes! O_O Yeah, I'm gonna send it to my best friend Gloria and poison her mind. She's been innocent far to long. *snickers* Um, met with my nymphomaniac friend Kyle today. He's doing good. ;) Thanks again to Britty for helping me with computer crap! Hope Amanda had a good walk home. Did you want some smut too? Hope Justine is having a good life... without me! *sobs* Miss ya hun! Hullo to October! Nice to meet you! Hm, sorry, I really want to go type now. I Love You All Bunches! *big smile* Cuz I'm horny. Byez!

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Wednesday, January 30, 2008

   Hi.

THANK YOU SO MUCH TO PAST TIME GIRL FOR FIXING MY SITE! I LOVE YOU BUNCHES!!!! MY HERO! I know, the writing is in pink. I kinda hate pink, but it's the only color that showed up alright. I might have to change my background after all. Which would suck because I'd probably screw it up again. *sigh* Hm. So lonely today. Is Amanda alive? Justine I can't see the update on your site. *pouts* Um. yeah. Well, how about I go off on a rant here. You don't have to read any of this, because it's really just me talking to myself. It will help me sort my thoughts. Why I like Men: Men are all hard muscle and strength. Their masculinity is extremely apealing to me. Most men are dominant people which is also very attractive. I like skinny boys the best. Something about their tiny waists... mmmm. Yeah. I don't often like a feminine guy, with one exception. I also wouldn't mind having kids someday, so obviously, I'm attracted to men for that reason. Why I Like Women: Ah. I love all the soft curves and soft skin that women have to offer. Women have beautiful eyes. There is something just unbelieveably breathtaking about all women. I just can't take my eyes off them. I like a woman who is pettite and curvy, just the opposite of the type of men I like. I love the connectioon that I can have on an emotional level with a woman, and you know what? Some women can be dominant too. There. Now I've got my thoughts out on 'paper' and I can be happy. Ha. To Justine: Hey, I don't like your attitude about isolation. I can't change your mind obviously, but I can annoy you till you HAVE to spend time with people! And I would love to join the gay/bi club but wrestling is over on the 16th of Feb, and then I'll be working after school, so I can't pass it off as me going to wrestling practice. I would love to know who is in the club though. If you meet someone in the club that you can trust, you can tell them about me too, if you want. But only people that won't spread it around. To Amanda: I'd love a hug from you! We can be lonely together. But please don't think that everytime I seem happy that I'm not! Oh goodness! Most of the time I am happy. You can kinda tell in my eyes when I'm acting. At least, that's what Gloria says. And You're not a baby just becasue you cry! Crying really helps let your emotions out, so I don't see anything wrong with it. To Past Time Girl: You Rock My Socks! I leave now. Love you all! Yeah.

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Tuesday, January 29, 2008

   Somebody

Okay! Well, yesterday sucked ass. Moving on, today has been pretty good. Mostly because I got no sleep last night so I'm slightly slap happy....and well... yeah. I told Erin I was bi!!!! She wasn't surprised. I was shocked. I thought I hid it so well! Damn, I hope other people didn't guess it! Probably not though. I think Erin just knows me that well. She's totally okay with it. *squeals in happiness* Thanks to Past Time Girl for being cool and signing my guestbook, PMing me, and commenting! *waves* Justine..... where are you! I miss you! So much! Will I ever see you again!?!? Hm. What to say. OH! I found a great het story on Fanfic.net! It was Shika x Temari which in my mind is a plausible pairing. 'Twas delicious! I was happy. You should read it. We ran out of orange juice today. Orange juice is my drug. I'll be pissy tomorrow. Um. So, I'll take a page out of Justine's book and have a random moment of confession. I am lonely. Very lonely. And I'm not looking for pity or a hug or a pat on the head, or anything. It just feels good to admit it to myself. I am lonely. I feel good Dah na na na na na nah! *sings song in head* And to Amanda: You're right, I don't always have to feel happy. But sometimes I choose to be happy, because it's the only way I can handle hard situations. Not all the time though. Just when things get overwhelming. I love you all! Have a Great Day! Have a cookie! Smile! Beacuse you're all awesome! Me want someone.

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Monday, January 28, 2008

   Happiness

Hm. Yes. A Monday. My head kinda hurts. But I'm happy. At least, that's what I keep telling myself. So I signed up to do makeup for the musical and I randomly found out today that there's a mattine performance tomorrow, and my mom's gonna be pissed, becuase it means I can't do school. And I have to wake up early. Damn it all. But I'm still happy. I'm giving my application to Ryan to give to his dad today. 'Tis nerve racking. But I'm Still Happy. I'm jealous of a girl who is a manager with me for wrestling, becuase she's good looking and I'm not, and everyone else talks to her. BUT I'M STILL HAPPY. I really miss Justine, truly, and we must do something soon, but not this week unless you can skip school in the morning (not recommended). BUT I'M STILL HAPPY DAMMIT! *smiles demurely* Goodbye my friends! I'm going to read. Something. Something dirty. Cuz it will make my headache go away. I swear. Cuz it works.

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Friday, January 25, 2008

   Hola

HAPPY FRIDAY! So, found this awesome Bible school in Japan. I fell in love with it, and then told my mom. She said no. Just because it was Evangelical. We came from an Evangelical church and watched it all go downhill. Now we go to a Baptist church, and mom won't let me check out any other denomination. I understand her reasons, but it really should be my decision whether or not I will go to a college. Aw well. Wrestling today, hopefully there will be hot stat girls there. I'm starting to not like guys as much. Probably cuz I keep seeing Mike in the hallways. 'Tis a happy day, becuase I choose to make it a happy day. I found a good hentai story written in first person, so it's like you are the girl... 'twas fun and satisfying. The other story I recommended yesterday is amazing, even though the plot gets a little redundant and it isn't completed yet... but the SEX! OMG! It's perfect. Truly. I made Amanda a little compic today to make her smile. I have yet to see the result. Justine was on the computer! *squeals* I miss you bunches Justine. *pouts* I'm gonna go, cuz, the bell, it rings. Cuz I want her. Cuz I want them. *waves*

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