Thursday, January 24, 2008

   Yep.

So. Went to the eye doctor today. I asked for glasses. It's not everyday that a person asks for glasses. They're for driving. Good news is that my eyes look healthy. This is good becuase there's always a chance that my left eye could start to relapse again and wander. You probably have no idea what I'm talking about. But I won't explain all of it here. If you really want to know, then PM me. Otherwise, I won't bore you. I was having an all right day, but this whole remodelling the kitchen thing is getting on my nerves again. A cabinet guy is coming over tonight, so I don't get to have my alone day. Sucks, cuz my alone days are precious. My Aunt has lice. No one will help her, not even her best friend. My mom is helping her now. My mom is terrified of lice, but feels worse for her sister. Drama. Hoping Justine's okay. Hey! I think everyone needs to read this. I'm quite serious. This is THE BEST yaoi I have ever read. http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3650800/1/ Check it out. Oh, yeah, and becuase I'm reading about them... Love you all! HAVE A GOOD DAY! I COMMAND YOU!

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Wednesday, January 23, 2008

   Slightly Insane

All right! So, I totally miss Justine. Nothing great going on with me. The long weekend was nice and relaxing, but lonely. I did have a steamy dream about a girl however... *grins* Yep, well it's that time of the month so I'm shoveling in loads of chocolate and asprin, and being oddly shaky... 'Tis a bit frightening actually. I smell popcorn. I'm kinda sick of not being able to do that really awesome background thing that Amanda and Justine do. Damn website. What else can I rant about... I need a labtop. So I'm applying for a job at the Lutheran Home. Wish me luck! I'm looking at a Bible college in England. My mom was kinda mad. She's afraid I'm gonna find some English guy to marry. I almost frowned. She won't ever know that I like girls. It kinda makes me sad. It's hard enough keeping my writing a secret... It's just that I hate keeping things from my mom. We're so close. Heath Ledger died. I can't talk about it. I'm still in shock. It's like when Steve Irwin died. You know? Just a freak accident and someone that's loved by thousands is gone from us. I'd like someone to date now. Thank you. My mind is everywhere, isn't it? I sound like I'm high. Can't find any good BDSM pics that aren't porn. Sucks, cuz I feel way too guilty looking at porn. Can't do it anymore. Thanks Amanda. Kiera Knightley was ranked #18 on Maxim's Hottest 100 list. Lindsey Lohan got first. They all must be on acid. Strung out trailer trash is not hot. I like girls. Dicks are so ugly. I can't get over it. Does anyone have chocolate? There I go again, sounding like I need a straight jacket... Has anyone ever seen the movie Gothika? Good movie. Scary, but good. Halle Barry is hot. The end is nothing that you'd expect. Should I totally copy Amanda for the day and put song lyrics on here?! Nah, I'll put in a poem instead. 'Tis my fav! Rose J.B. O'Reilly (1844-1890) The red rose whispers of passion, And the white rose breathes of love; O, the red rose is a falcon, And the white rose is a dove. But I send you a cream-white rosebud With a flush on its petal tips; For the love that is purest and sweetest Has a kiss of desire on the lips. OOOOO! Makes me hot it does! I'm such a hopless romantic! That likes being tied up... hm... Well, that reminds me: Pic of the day! I know. 'Tis not that great, but I told you, it's damn hard to find good BDSM pics! And in loving memory. May he rest in peace.

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Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Promise

Okay, so as I promised Amanda, even though she hasn't read my email yet, I will be telling a story today. When I was in grade school, I was a model student and a great kid. Not bragging, just being honest. Junior High changed everything. It was such a different environment with a shitload more stress and way too much drama that I in my protected and friendly little world did not know how to handle. To top it all off, I had begun to doubt there was a God. So I had no source to fall back on when things got tough. I wasn't close with my mom either, because I was way too worried about her opinion of me. Now I had some of the best friends in the world, friends I still plan on keeping until the day I die, but I was too stupid to treat them as true friends. For a long time, I kept all of my emotions and stresses inside, thinking I could handle them on my own. Wrong. Halfway through the year I was to the point of mild insanity. I hope some of my friends didn't see that. My depression was severe and I took to writing poetry in class rather than actually paying attention. (Of course there's nothing wrong with poetry, I'm just telling you what I did). I wrote some of my worst poems during that time, but at least they got some of my emotions out. I honestly don't know why I didn't just talk to my friends. What's done is done however, and I'll tell you what my thoughts were, from what I can remember. I blamed my parents for everything, even though they had nothing to do with what was going on in my life. I blamed them for not giving me freedom and for putting too much pressure on me to do well in school. In reality, I put all the pressure on myself. I blamed them for not letting me dress the way I wanted or go to co-ed parties. I blamed them for me being a loser. I was a total fool. I planned out suicide twice. The first time I walked from school over to a gas station, intending on buying sleeping pills or something, because I figured that would be the easiest way to go. I had the bottle of pills in my hand, but I didn't have enough money. Being the goody-two-shoes that I still was, I didn't think of steeling it. I thank God everyday that I'm poor. The second time I was at the creek that runs through my neighborhood. I was standing in the water, knowing what I wanted to do, and way too terrified to do it. I put it off for twenty minutes before I finally got up enough resolve to stick my head under. Before I could, my friend Gloria showed up, because it was our favorite hang out spot. Of course, she had no idea what I had been planning on doing, but her presence stopped me from doing the most stupid thing I could ever do. There you have it. That's where I was in Junior High. Life for me is much different now. I find joy in everything and I know I have the greatest friends. My mom and I are really close and I tell her almost everything. I have plans for my future and a positive outlook on life. Most importantly, I have God. I wouldn't have been here without Him. A piece of my heart for you! Now you know. Love you all. Oh and because I would so do this... *winks*

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Monday, January 14, 2008

   Think.

Damn picture! Why won't it work?! Whatev. Sooooooooooooo... Um. Yeah. I kinda suck today. I can't think at all. Justine! You looked so great today! *winks* ...Or, wait. By the time you read this it will be yesterday... ARGH! *slaps oneself* I can't think! I know I should write something meaningful, but it's just not there. I'm so sorry. Goodbye. Because I can. BONDAGE BABY!!!!!

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Friday, January 11, 2008

   Wrestling

Sorry that I didn't update Yesterday! *hangs head in shame* Okay, so since I was at wrestling all day Yesterday, I'm going to talk about wrestling people. First, a guy (don't worry Amanda, I'll get to the girl later!). I won't say his name because I'm paranoid like that, but I will call him Sex On Legs, or SOL. Yep. Because that's what he is. Sex on legs. He is our 130 pound wrestler, shooting up 20 pounds since last year. He has perfect skin that's kinda carmel colored, and amazing lips. He walks like a cat, and wrestles like he's having sex. Which makes him very good. He's got these amazing bedroom eyes and a smirk that can only mean he's horny. Thus, I call him SOL. Now, the girl. *Amanda cheers* Well she's more of a woman. And this kinda sounds gross, but she's one of the wrestler's moms. *grins* But she's a total MILF. *snickers* She's pettite and Italian, and quite a little spit-fire and there's just something about her that is very dominating. *shrugs* I like. Okay, let me try once again to get this hot picture on the page... Did it work? Love you all bunches!

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Wednesday, January 9, 2008

YAY! A REAL POST!

Hey my pretties! Here's a picture for you, because I do so like this one, but it didn't make the cut to put into my profile. Okay, down to the nitty gritty. I just told my friend via email that I was bi. O.O Yep. I'm praying this doesn't ruin her opinion of me. But she's my best friend. I trust her with my life. This is something she should know. I just hope this doesn't ruin it all. I had an intention to celebrate my discovery of a website explaining how you can be a bisexual/homosexual and still be a Christian, but I think I will do that after Gloria has emailed me back her reaction. So in other news... We are getting our kitchen redone, and it's pretty stressful. But it looks really nice. For my epic Bleach fanfiction I have decided to experiment with my writing skills and have made two threesomes: Yoruichi x Kisuke x Mikomi(OC) and Renji x Shuuhei x Elena(OC) So that means I'll be writing a little bit of yaoi and a little bit of yuri along with my hentai. *hears Justine and Amanda subsequently cheer* Okay, I'll be going to search for good yuri stories now! Love you all tons! Oh, and because it's hot... *giggles*

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Tuesday, January 8, 2008

   Sorry Again!

Sorry, Lee was in the media center and I couldn't get anything done. Thus in apology I give you more pics! Hooray for two days straight of horniness!!!!

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Monday, January 7, 2008

   Heh...

Sorry, I just don't have enough time to post. I was so horny, so I just went on photobucket and found yaoi and yuri pics for the site. They aren't too explicit, are they? I won't get kicked off or anything? I need to find some hentai. Holy monkies I'm horny... I love you all and promise to write something more informative next time!!!

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Thursday, December 20, 2007

   LOVE!

Well, I'm not in the best of moods today, mostly because it's that time of the month, and I'm in pain. So, to make me feel better, today's post will mostly consist of me bashing my ex-boyfriend (there will be more than that though). My first boyfriend's name is Mike. I will not say his last name just in case someone knows him. It's just too embarrassing. Mike and I met in 8th grade, and he asked me out the last week of school. Did I like him? Not really, but I was too excited that someone liked me to care. Our first date was pretty great actually. It was at the 8th grade picnic at Twin Lakes. We sat under a tree in front of the 'lake' and talked and cuddled for a long time and then we walked around holding hands. It was rather romantic. It all went downhill from that point on. I wasn't allowed to date, so I had to keep it a secret, but my mom figured it out when we went on vacation and she listened in on our phone call. Needless to say I was grounded and couldn't see him or talk to him. To overcome this problem, we sent messages to each other via my ex-friend Hallie (Justine, she's the one that in 6th grade I did that stuff with that I told you about... do you know what I'm talking about?). It was all going well and good until about a month and a half into the relationship, Hallie and I went to a New Years Eve party at our youth group. She gave me her cell phone so I could call Mike and talk to him. He wasn't being very talkative though, and the whole conversation was kinda strange. So I said goodbye and then went to go have fun. The next time I saw Hallie she was chatting away on the phone, and she told me she talking to her friend who lives in Florida. I was like, 'okay,' and left her alone. She talked for maybe two hours, easily, laughing and telling jokes and talking about jobs and other shit. Then my good friend Lauren clued me in. Hallie wasn't talking to her friend in Florida. She was talking to Mike. For hours. I kinda flipped out on her for lying to me. Perhaps I overreacted. But that still doesn't change the fact that my boyfriend had a better time talking to my best friend than he had talking to me. Oh yes, it gets worse. He and Hallie went to the movies a couple times together too, even though he still had an excuse everytime I wanted to do something. Now before you go saying that perhaps I was just being a little jealous, and maybe they were just friends, let me tell you. Mike and Hallie were not friends before we started going out. In fact, Mike was constantly complaining about me being friends with her. He called her a slut and a druggie all the time. And then, when I couldn't talk to him anymore, he just ran along and had his fun with my best friend. Ass. Then, my home life was just sucking because my mom was always crying about me being disobedient and now she 'couldn't trust me' and shit and I was sick of it. So, because I couldn't call him, and he never wanted to go on a date with me, I wrote him a letter. A very long and nice letter telling him that I was very sorry, but I just couldn't disobey my parents anymore. I figured it was better than emailing him. A week later I recieved and email from him entitled 'Fuck you'. Nice huh? And it gets WORSE! He then went and told the entire Freshman football team that I was a psycho. Yeah. I got that fantastic piece of information from this really nice guy named Jamie whom I met in Biology class. (It was a couple of months into Freshman year and Jamie was my partner for a project. We were working together and sudden;y he just up and asks what my last name was. Then he explains to me that this 'kid name Mike keeps talking about you, saying you're a psycho and stuff. I didn' think it was you 'cuz you seem pretty cool, but it is.') Great. Well, wasn't that a wonderful little experience. It's always great to have your first boyfriend say 'fuck you' in an email and then tell everyone that you're a psycho. Now, onto my second boyfriend. His name is Chris. And you know what, he's a great guy. We met on a missions trip to Mississippi. It was a sixteen hour bus ride there, and a week long trip. He was really nice and blatantly flirted with me, which is always fun. The bus ride home was where the magic happened. I was sitting with my friend Lauren (the same one that clued me in on Hallie being a slut) when he just up and orders me to sit with him. That was sexy. So I do and we talk for five hours straight. Yes, I am not exaggerating that. There wasn't even one awkward pause. We talked about everything from our favorite foods, to what we wanted to do with our lives, to grades in school, to our families... everything you could think of. Then, it got cold in the bus, and we were sharing his blanket and I got tired. I must have fallen asleep sitting straight up in the chair, beacause I remember waking up slightly to feel his hand on the back of my neck, and he pulled me down to lay on his shoulder. That was nice. Then when I woke up a few hours later, he was holding my hand. I think I blushed so much in that one bus ride that I've never really been able to blush since then. The next week at youth group he asked me out. The conversation went something like this: Chris- Hey, Kay, I really like you, would you go out with me? Kay- *blushes* Chris, I'd love to, but I'm not allowed to date. Chris- Neither am I. *grins mischeviously* Kay- *smirks* Okay then. So that's how it started. We talked on the phone almost everyday, and it actually went unnoticed because my best friend at the time was named Chris, so my boyfriend Chris just pretended to be my best friend. Hehe! About a week and half into it Chris calls and tells me that he just cut himself. On purpose. Now, please, do not get me wrong, please don't look at me like I'm a bitch, but I couldn't deal with that. I really appreciated his honesty and his trust in me, but I couldn't do it. I was too emotionally unstable myself to be there for someone else in their troubles. I couldn't be his rock. If this had happend now, it would have been alright. I know myself now. I could be there for him. I could be his rock now. But not then. I saw him at youth group the next day and broke it off. It was amiable though, and we remain friends. Now that's a good end to a relationship. AH! One more! Not another boyfriend though. No, this one was my first love. And I still love him, though I haven't seen him in over a year, and I have no idea where he is. Matt was a foster child that I met when I was nine because his foster parents and my parents were friends. He was an angry kid to anyone else that looked, but I saw right through that. He was scared out of his mind. His mom could sign him off any day saying that she didn't want him anymore, and he was scared. I befriended him. When we got older, about 14, we played hide and seek in his basement. With the lights off. It turned into a wrestling match when he wouldn't admit defeat. The wrestling match ended with him stradling me and making me say that he won. That was probably the most erotic moment of my life by the way. The next time I saw him, his mom had finally signed him off. He was officially unwanted. We were in his basement again and I told him that I was sorry. That only made him angry. He screamed at me and told me that I didn't know anything and that I was stupid, and a couple other profanities. I just sat on the couch and took it all, and didn't say a word or get upset. Now, Matt wasn't used to people not yelling back, and eventually, he ran out of things to say, and he broke down. The night ended in me cradling his head in my lap while he cried. The next week he was sent to a boys' home after he screamed at his foster mom. The next time I saw him, it was at my Sweet Sixteen birthday party. We had rented out a small room and I had all my friends over for a dance. It was going great, but then one of my friends started causing drama. I took her outside and gave her a talking to, but then I saw Matt. He was with his friends and they were walking up the stairs of the building to go and visit his other friend. We stared at each other, even though I was mid-sentence. My other friend just walked away, and Matt told his friends to go on ahead without him. Then it was just us outside. We just looked at each other, and then he finally hugged me. We snuck into the bathroom and we hugged and he told me as much as he could. That he was getting adopted, and that he found his little brother, and that he got into a knife fight to save his friend. But then he had to leave. He kissed me on the forehead and said goodbye. That's the last time I saw Matt. I don't know where he is now, and I don't know if he is okay. But I love him with all my heart, and I pray for him every night. HOLY FLYING MONKIES!!! That was a long one!!! Hope ya had fun reading that!!!! Heh... Wow. I used up all my words for the day. Goodbye.

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Wednesday, December 19, 2007

   Fears

Okay, what other totally personal information can I spew out to the world? Let's see... OOOO! My pet peeves?! Hmmm. I don't know. Is that interesting enough? Well let's try my fears. Yeah, that sounds interesting. Okay, so I have a severe phobia of needles. I know, that sounds so retarded, but I can't stand them! I would rather have my hand chopped off with a butcher's knife than get a shot from the doctor. Irrational? Stupid? Yes. I pass out almost everytime I get a shot. 'Tis sad. My absolute biggest fear: watching my friends get hurt, and me powerless to do anything about it. I know, it sounds like I have some sort of hero complex, but really, that's my biggest fear. I love all of my friends with all of my heart, even the ones that I haven't known for long. And it pisses me off to no end when people go and mess with my friends! And everytime I hear of a car accident around here, I panic and assume it's one of my friends. I cry in my bed at night often thinking about what could happen to my friends in the future. Gosh, I'm getting all emotional just talking about it. But I just love people so much, and it's like a knife to my heart when my friends get hurt. Damn. That was personal. I honestly don't have a lot of other fears. I'm not afraid of dying, or even getting hurt myself. I like spiders and other bugs, and I don't really have any other phobias. I'm not afraid of getting cancer, or not getting married... It's just those two things. There you have it! I think I might post more later today, if I need a break in writing my Bleach fanfiction. Thanks for caring!

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