Tuesday, November 11, 2008

For Justine

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Monday, November 10, 2008

*super angry* and Phoney

Fucking thing did it again! I had the whole post typed out, and then it froze and deleted everything! GAH! Oh well, I think I remember the jist of what I wanted to say. First, Justine, how did you do that AWESOME face in your comment?! It was so cool! ^_^ And when we get an apartment, can I buy one of those WiiFit thingys so I can work out on your Wii? Hahaha, sorry, I just saw this really awesome commercial for it and I got excited! ^_^ And... I GOT A CELLPHONE!!!! OMG! Tell me if you want my number and I'll PM you (cuz it'd be stupid to post my number online). Text me rather than call me if you want to reach me, cuz it costs me less! ^_^ Haha, I'm really excited! My October, you can text me too! *gasps* Yay! LYRICS! Better By:Regina Spektor If I kiss you where it's sore If I kiss you where it's sore Will you feel better, better, better Will you feel anything at all Will you feel better, better, better Will you feel anything at all Born like sisters to this world In a town where blood ties are only blood If you never say your name out loud to anyone They can never ever call you by it If I kiss you where it's sore If I kiss you where it's sore Will you feel better, better, better Will you feel anything at all Will you feel better, better, better Will you feel anything at all You're getting sadder, getting sadder, getting sadder, getting sadder And I don't understand, and I don't understand But if I kiss you where it's sore If I kiss you where it's sore Will you feel better, better, better Will you feel anything at all Will you feel better, better, better Will you feel anything at all Anything at all Will you feel anything at all Anything at all Will you feel anything at all Anything at all... This is dedicated to Apanda and Justine. *nods* Okeedokee, gotta run, I'll be back... erm... Friday maybe. Ato my pretties!

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Saturday, November 8, 2008

Nada.

Fuck, I just wrote this HUGE post and the comp went all shitty and erased it ALL. FUCK FUCK FUCK! Fine, I'll only repeat one thing. Look at my beautiful October! Ain't she HOT?! Haha, sorry my koishii, I just loved this pic of you! You almost look like an anime girl! Alright, gotta go sweets, ato my pretties! WAIT! Lyrics first: Lithium By: Nirvana I'm so happy Cause today I found my friends They're in my head I'm so ugly But that's ok 'Cause so are you We've broke our mirrors Sunday morning Is everyday For all I care And I'm not scared Light my candles In a daze cause I've found god. Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah I'm so lonely And that's ok I shaved my head And I'm not sad And just maybe I'm to blame For all I've heard And I'm not sure I'm so excited I can't wait to meet you there And I don't care I'm so horny But that's ok My will is good. Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah I like it I'm not gonna crack I miss you I'm not gonna crack I love you I'm not gonna crack I kill you I'm not gonna crack I'm not gonna crack I'm so happy Cause today I found my friends They're in my head I'm so ugly But that's ok. 'Cause so are you We've broke our mirrors Sunday morning is everyday For all I care. And I'm not scared Light my candles In a daze cause I've found god Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah I like it I'm not gonna crack I miss you I'm not gonna crack I love you I'm not gonna crack I kill you I'm not gonna crack I'm not gonna crack I like it I'm not gonna crack I miss you I'm not gonna crack I love you I'm not gonna crack I kill you I'm not gonna crack I'm not gonna crack

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Friday, November 7, 2008

.

I don't have time really, except for lyrics: Show Me How To Live By: Audioslave And with the early dawn Moving right along I couldn't buy an eyeful of sleep And in the aching night under satellites I was not received Built with stolen parts A telephone in my heart Someone get me a priest To put my mind to bed This ringing in my head Is this a cure or is this a disease Nail in my hand From my creator You gave me life Now show me how to live Nail in my hand From my creator You gave me life Now show me how to live And in the after birth On the quiet earth Let the stains remind you You thought you made a man You better think again Before my role defines you Nail in my hand From my creator You gave me life Now show me how to live Nail in my hand From my creator You gave me life Now show me how to live And in your waiting hands I will land And roll out of my skin And in your final hours I will stand Ready to begin Ready to begin Ready to begin Ready to begin Nail in my hand From my creator You gave me life Now show me how to live Nail in my hand From my creator You gave me life Now show me how to live Love you all more than you know! Ato my pretties!

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Monday, November 3, 2008

.

Apanda, that's the first time you said you loved me too, I think. I'm glad we can both see right through each other. I knew that you were hurting, and you knew that I was trying my best to make you feel better. Sorry, I don't have time to say much more, but I really wish I gave you a longer hug too. I hope you, Justine, and I can get together. I LOVE you too Apanda. Ato.

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Saturday, November 1, 2008

Halloween Blues

Well, that was the worst Halloween I've ever had. But it should have been good, ne? I mean, I got to see two of the people that I love most in the world, so I should have had a good time, ne? First I got to hang out with Justine. We took her little sister trick-or-treating for an hour, and then we went to Sumo for dinner. Now this was good, I got to catch up with her for a little bit. But our time together was so short, I felt like we didn't even get a chance to really talk. And then we were late getting her home, and I practically had to push her out of the car; I didn't even get to say a real goodbye. I have no idea whether or not she got in trouble for being late, and I can only pray that everything is alright. Then I was SUPER late meeting Apanda at the Fremd football game. So I had the weight of guilt for dropping Justine off late, and then making Apanda wait a ridiculously long time for me. Damn. Then when I was talking to Apanda, I just had to be completely honest with her, because I physically cannot lie to her. And of course she made a fun little moment out of what I said, but I know that I hurt her, which is why I stoppped myself from... it while I could. Because I love Apanda, and I CANNOT hurt her. And now I have. Cuz I'm honest. Fuck. And you know what Apanda, you said you didn't believe me when I said I loved you. I figure I have some explaining to do. Apanda, I may not love you in the romantic way, but in my opinion, the way I love you is so much more powerful than that. I love you no matter what you do to drive me away, no matter what you do 'wrong', no matter how many times you bring yourself down, I love you. And I really don't care that you don't believe me. I once quoted a Bible verse for you, even though I know you don't believe in the Bible. "Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends." John 15:13. I believe this verse with all my heart, and I want you to know that when I said I'd give up my life for you, I really meant it. THAT'S why I stoppped myself when I did. Because I will not take what is precious to you. I will sacrifice my happiness for yours a thousand times over, because your friendship means SO much more to me. So what we talked about last night, you 'plan' that made you cry inside, I'm just not okay with it, because I will NOT be the cause of you misery. There. Now I'm being COMPLETELY honest with you. So there. My Halloween sucked because I may have fucked up a lot a things for my friends. And to top it all off, Palatine lost the football game.

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Thursday, October 30, 2008

Oh, and...

I couldn't resist.

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Sick. :(

Hmmmm, so I've decided that the only thing worse than being deathly ill and having your period at the same time, is childbirth. *nods* I'm so fucking miserable right now. I had to take a week off of school, and that sucks because it just pushes my gradution date farther away. And then, my beautiful October is going through a really awful time, and I feel like I can't do much for her because I haven't been online that often. I hate feeling useless. The only good thing that might happen this week is if I get to see Justine and Apanda on Friday. That would be great. No, better than great. I miss them so fucking much. Anyway, my break's over, so I'll leave you with this song: Graduate By:Third Eye Blind Can I Graduate, Can I look into the faces that I meet, Can I get my punk-ass off the street, I've been living on for so long, Can I Graduate, To the bastard talking down to me, Your whipping boy calamity, Cross your fingers, I'm going to knock it all down, Can I Graduate, Echo fading, We can't let go, She goes walking by in slow mo', Sell your heart out for a buck, Go on, Fade out, Before I get stuck, Talking to somebody like you, Do you live the days you go through, Will this song live on long after we do, Can I Graduate, Can I look into the faces that I meet, Can I get my punk-ass off the street, Won't die on the vine I want to knock it all down, Can I Graduate, Echo fading, Candle blow, Did you flash out long ago, Cross my fingers, I don't know Someone poked you down below, Can I Graduate, Can I get my punk-ass off the street, Can I look into the faces that I meet, I'm not waiting here for you to die, Will this song live on long after we do Ato my pretties.

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Wednesday, October 29, 2008

.

Now, I may not be in a relationship right now, or even in a crush, but you all know I'm a hopeless romantic. When I find my girl (or boy, maybe) I want to feel like this. Hero/Heroine By: Boys Like Girls It's too late baby, there's no turning around I've got my hands in my pocket and my head in a cloud This is how I do When I think about you I never thought that you could break me apart I keep a sinister smile and a hold of my heart You want to get inside Then you can get in line But not this time Cause you caught me off guard Now I'm running and screaming I feel like a hero and you are my heroine I won't try to philosophize I'll just take a deep breath and I'll look in your eyes This is how I feel And it's so surreal I got a closet filled up to the brim With the ghosts of my past and the skeletons And I don't know why You'd even try But I won't lie You caught me off guard Now I'm running and screaming I feel like a hero and you are my heroine Do you know that your love is the sweetest sin? And I feel a weakness coming on Never felt so good to be so wrong Had my heart on lockdown And then you turned me around I'm feeling like a new born child Every time I get a chance to see you smile It's not complicated I was so jaded And you caught me off guard Now I'm running and screaming I feel like a hero and you are my heroine Do you know that your love is the sweetest sin? (I feel like a hero and you are my heroine) And I feel a weakness coming on Never felt so good to be so wrong Had my heart on lockdown And then you turned me around (Do you know that your love is the sweetest sin?) I'm feeling like a new born child Every time I get a chance to see you smile It's not complicated I was so jaded

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Monday, October 20, 2008

...

NO TIME!!! Haha, you can't ever creep me out Justine! Cuz I'm WAY creepier than you! ^_^ What are you doing Saturday? Apanda, haha you're right, I don't comment enough on your site. That's cuz it takes FOREVER for theO to load on these work comps. I hate it. But I'm sorry, I should comment more. I love you bunches! I hope you can come to the game this Fri.!!! Britty, I haven't talked to you in too long, and I'm sorry, I'll try to comment you tomorrow during break. Hope you're doing alright! My beautiful Ocotber, you know that I hate this for you, but I'm glad your mom was there, she'll be a good support. And Greg too, maybe even Keith. I wish the best for you, keep me updated. I love you forever. I gotta go, I love you all so much, ato my pretties!!!

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