Tuesday, April 1, 2008

   Happiness!

Hullo! Lords, Tony was pissing me off Yesterday! I mean, yes, I know he was going through a rough time, but he wouldn't leave me alone for five mintues! I was trying to write a PM to October, and he wouldn't shut up, even though I kept telling him to! I even said, "Tony I'll listen to you as soon as I'm done here, but I really need to write this." And he totally ignored my request! What the hell! So I probably sounded so removed in the PM and I so wish Tony didn't have 8th period free! How the hell do I get away from him?!?!?! ARGH! Moving on, because I'd much rather focus on more positive things *winks* Guess what?! .... Well, did you guess?!? *giggles* Okay, I GOT A LAPTOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! My Pastor heard that I wanted a laptop for school and he gave me his old one, for FREE! I couldn't believe it! I'm so shocked! Well, at the moment it's kinda useless, cuz it has nothing on it and there's no wireless internet in my house, but my friend Henry (computer genius dude) looked online and found this really cheap but really good wireless router for me and my mom said she'd consider it, so soon I'll be able to be online SO much more often! *squeal of happiness* I'm so excited! Next step is a cellphone so I can FINALLY call my darling, my koishii, my passionate seme October! *huge mischeivious grin* So I'm all hyper and happy from that. Yesterday was the first day of school after Spring Break, and it was so wonderful to see all my friends again! I gave Amanda the hugest hug, I think she'll agree, but I missed her bunches! So that was cool. Grape juice tastes good. Heh... I died my hair again, finally, and it looks so kickass when it's this red! I wish it would stay this red longer, but alas! It fades. *pouts* But whatev. Hey Amanda, do you have a digital camera? Just wondering. So Tony had one of his friends up in the computer lab with us (I don't know why he couldn't just talk to her! Instead of pestering me to point of me wanting to slap him!) And she was all like, who are you talking to online? Tony blurts out' "She's talking to her lover! Who lives in Texas!" And I was all mad, I mean we're in a public place for goodness sake! You can't go shouting out that I'm gay when no one is supposed to know! The risk he put me in! If rumor got around to my parents, my life would be over!!!! And his friend just makes it worse and goes on this little tirade and says, "Online relationships aren't good, I mean, you totally don't know if this girl is just a fake or is using you or anything, she could be dating someone and you wouldn't even know it. It's stupid to get in an online relationship. Especially with someone you have no hope of ever meeting." Well I just wanted to punch her ugly little face in! Instead I said all politely, "Yeah, but I trust this girl." And that's all I needed to say. Hmph. *crosses arms* Whoa, that was a total mood swing there.. let's go back to the happiness, yes? ^_^ Um, so nothing really exciting is happening besides what I've said already. Work was good Yesterday. Ryan was there, so I got to tease him and stuff. But he always got me back. *grins* FINE! I'm talking about October, I don't care if anyone gets mad at me!!!! >_< October wrote me this beautiful poem on her website that made me want to cry! And I know she wrote it while she was depressed, but it was just so beautiful and I want to share my favorite lines with you: "As I go with him I feel myself starting to decay, and the stars are not wanted now. I lost everything and have nothing, for you see, the darling IS my everything. She is my laugh, my heartbeat, my song, my air, my passion, my smile, my sunday rest. " She also got this sweet thing that will let me hear her voice, but I can't hear it yet because I'm at school, but hopefully tonight, or Thursday, I'll have the house to myself! I wrote a poem for October too, it isn't as good as hers, and it doesn't seem to talk about her, but the inspiration was ALL her. October is so passionate, and it seems like she's this flame that never wants to burn out, so she inspired me to write this. Burn Passion fades. The once all consuming fire Chokes and flickers out Forever to be lost Leaving a terrifying emptiness That cannot be filled. And the heart will yearn For the spark that kindled the blaze. Passion's murderer Is the treacherous hand of sloth; Pleaseure dulls over time and Complacency deals the the final blow. The logical mind Explains away the need For the heat of the flames That were so tedious to tend. But passion burns When the fire is fed. Let it consume the fuel Of love and tenderness And desire will Ignite the flames eternal To stand the test of time Then, passion never fades. There, I did my best, I hope she likes it! I also found these song lyrics for her, I thought they got my feelings across, so I liked them! Consume Me Lovely traces I can sense you in everything The way that you move me Takes me far away I seek no escape I'm dreaming through your eyes I am wandering through your mind I'm overtaken by the way that you deliver me I'm transcended There's no place I'd rather be Than here in heaven Without you I'm incomplete It's hopeless CHORUS: You consume me, you consume me Like a burning flame running through my veins You consume me moving through me Anytime, anyplace you invade my space You consume me, you consume me Wholly devoted I immerse myself in you Baptize me in your love Cause drowning in the thought of you Floods my soul I'm taken by the things you do Oh, you know It doesn't matter what I lose I'm yours I am in your hands Under your command Like a puppet on a string [Oh you know] I am willing to Put my faith in you So before the world I sing [Consume me] CHORUS: You consume me, you consume me Burning flame, through my veins You consume me moving through me Anytime, anyplace you invade my space You consume me [oh, you know that I surrender] I am consumed, I'm consumed with you There's no other way I can fly It's you and I, you and I There's no other way I can fly It's you and I, you and I Ah, now I leave you again, my apologies, but I have to PM people (October, I'll do better this time!) And I think I might even update one of my worlds on theO. So off I go! I send a giant hug to Amanda and a fiery kiss to October! You two are amazing! ^_^

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