Thursday, May 15, 2008

Over It, Over Him

Well, these lyrics don't exactly fit the situation Nat and I were in, because I never loved him and all, but the feeling is the same. Wishes By: Superchick The saddest thing is you could be anything, that you could want. We could've been everything, but now we're not. Now it's not anything at all. The hardest part was getting this close to you And giving up this dream I built with you. A fairy tale that isn't coming true. You've got some growing up to do. *CHORUS* I wish we could have worked it out. I wish I didn't have these doubts, I wish I didn't have to wonder just what you are doing now. I wish I didn't know inside That it won't work out for you and I. I wish that I could stop this wishing and just say my last goodbye. After all the things you put me through, Tell me why I'm still in love with you. And why am I, why am I still waiting for your call? You broke my heart, I'm taking it back from you. And taking back the life I gave to you. Life goes on before and after you. I've got some growing up to do. *CHORUS* It's time I say my last goodbye. Goodbye, Goodbye, It's time I say my last goodbye. I wish we could have worked it out. I wish I didn't have these doubts, I wish I didn't have to wonder just what you are doing now. I wish I didn't know inside That it won't work out for you and I. I wish that I could stop this wishing and just say my last goodbye Its time I said my last goodbye. Goodbye, Goodbye, It's time I say my last goodbye. Its time I said my last goodbye. Goodbye, Goodbye, It's time I say my last goodbye. There, so that's that. I was thinking about it last night, after a good long cry of course, but it's really a good thing that this is over. It wasn't healthy anyway, and we weren't going out, and we never would have. He isn't the one for me, and I know that, and I knew that before everything happened between us. I just couldn't stop myself. It was nice to not be lonely. But it would have ended a lot worse if we had gone out. He's not patient enough to get to know me. He's not perceptive enough to understand me. So it's good. I miss him, of course, but I think our conversation yesterday established the friendship again. So now we are back to where we started, and I'm saying goodbye to all my feelings for him. So that's a load off my shoulders. Apanda and Justine leave for Acen tomorrow, they better have a good time and tell me lots of stories!!!!! O_O Maybe next year I can sneak out for a weekend. I might have some alone time today, hallelujah, but then again, i don't know if I have work... I have to call my supervisor on the way home. Hm. This could be bad. I jsut remebered mom won't be home to drive me to work, and Ryan can't drive me all the way there... Lords, I really pray I don't have work today. God help me! I need a good book, that I can actually bring home and not get shot for checking it out. Gloria read my post yesterday! Her laptop is working and she finally got a chance to check it out! Yay!!!! Soon myO will be open for registration and I'm gonna start putting together my new site. Hope October will be back before I'm finished. So I might keep it Lady Valiant like I first thought, or I could translate it to Japanese and call it Redi Isamashii. Hm, it doesn't have quite the ring that Hissori Masurao has. Perhaps I should think of something else? Any suggestions? I could do Sokotsumono... thoughtless person (don't get all mad with me, just see if the Japanese is pretty enough!) Or Samishii... lonely and desolate... Possibly Tsubasa... wings, but that Japanese sounds a little manly for me... Or Ookami... wolf, that one is okay, I could combine lonely and wolf to get Samishii Ookami.... hm. But I'm much more of a falcon or hawk than a wolf. Well, sorta, I mean, wolves do a lot of running. But the word for falcon is ugly, so I don't that to be the name of my site. So which do you think fits best/ sounds prettiest? We've got: Isamashii Redi Isamashii Sokotsumono Samishii Tsubasa Ookami Samishii Ookami Or any other English suggestions that I could translate to Japanese? Please help me out! I've got one last 'I'm in a bad mood' thing to post. I found this poem online, and I revised it a bit, cuz some things bothered me. It's not my poem, but I made it better anyway. Alone By:Benjamin Krouskop My breath is void of oxygen My heart a scribble without rythm I don't know what I'm doing Or what I should have done I need someone to hold Instead of only one I don't want to be alone The panic sets in As darkness becomes my comfort zone This tired soul is stuck here all alone Wondering what I have done To turn them all away The reason for my lonliness Only I can say I am alone, My walls are crushing me tonight A stagnant shallow pool of blood and flesh and tears Where no one wants to go Where I swims in all my fears I don't want to be alone, I am alone, Always. My way is so much better, sorry Ben, whoever you are. Okay, time's up gotta go. If I'm not working I'll be on later, if anyone cares. Ato.

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