Monday, December 13, 2004

   Boobs.
The last couple days my cuz, Jen, and her daughter, Morgan, have been here to visited from Alberta. Morgan is so cute! She's 18 months old. Their last day with us was Friday and we drove them back to Toronto (Where morgans grandma is). Me and my mom were going to go to Eatons Center but Jen said that Center One is much better so we checked that out instead. It was crazy there. There were so many people there that the ground shook. Was so weird. I bought a xmas present for Matt and I found a Manga store there and asked my mom to buy some for me and I'll wait for Christmas. I got Chobits vol.1, Battle Royal Vol.1, and Escaflowne Vol.3 (I already have the first 2). Yay! Another store had some anime stuff as well only thing I really liked was a Key chain of Kotoko. So my mom got that for me as well, as a stocking stuffer.

I have my final Japanese test on Wednesday. It's on all 50 Hiragana characters! I'm impressing my self by actually memorizing them fast! I was stupid and waited till I only had one week left to start studying them, I only have 6 more to go and I'm done! We also have to do our skit. I'm a little nervous about that. Me and Matt got set up with these other couple and they said they would send us their half of the skit to practice by Saturday, well it's Monday night and nothing. Then on Friday we are all going to a Japanese resturant and have t order in Japanese, that will be interesting because to prepare we have to skip to chapter 23 to know how to do that...we're only on 11 right now.

Sayanara!
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Wednesday, November 17, 2004

   Argh....
I failed my G2 test today. She said I parked too close to the car in front of me after my perfect parelle park, said if someone parked behind me I wouldn't be able to get out, which is bullshit I pulled out fine without having to back up. I didn't look at one intersection but I did all the others, lets see what else...I went to close to a parked car, I did that because I was avoiding the on coming car in the 1 and a half lane road. But the biggest fuck up apparently was when I did my 3-point turn. I hit the curb which I admit is bad, but she claims I hit the garbage bags on the lawn. Fucking retarded!!

If I did hit the garbage then yes fail me, but I didn't so I don't think it was fail worthy. So now since I failed I wont have a car for another 5-6months.

Which brings me to my next complaint. My parents bought me a car for graduating high school. I have yet to drive it and my dad goes to Florida for the winters and guess what he's taking me car. Do they care? No. I bought a CD player for my car, and I was going to take it out before he left because if I get another car some how while he's gone I was going to put it in my car, but my dad said no. It's my fucking car!!!!!! I paid for all the goodies for it, and I'm not allowed to drive it or take back my goodies. They could have bought a car knowing he was going, but no. It's cheaper to just take mine.

I hate my parents. They're the only people in the world who think what they're doing to me is not unfair.
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Wednesday, November 10, 2004

   Blah
Well...Halo 2 came out the other night. Never going to see Matt again now. He said that's not true but it's already starting, he asked all his friends to come over Friday night to play Halo 2. I always thought people like him were sad. Now I'm stuck trying to not mind. When I told all my friends back when we first started dating, about the game systems and all the games he had they were all "Wow....that's sort of, kind of, is sad." I didn't care though I was in the infatuation stage. No but I really don't care, just worried he'll be the type of guy who sits in the basement all day playing games ignoring his family. I don't see that happening though, he's not obsessed, just likes them alot. Still I worrie a little.
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Thursday, November 4, 2004

   Grandpa
I went to go visit my grandpa in the home for the first time today. Was weird. Didn't know what to say or do. Just kind of stood there akwardly while my mom pretty much hand fed him and baby talked to him. I almost lost it and started to cry. I could feel it coming, but I held it off. I wanted to run out of there. I can't believe he's like this now. He use to be awsome....
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   Matthew
I love Matt so much. I know what I said last time, but I was just mad. I know he cares about me, just men are stupid. I have to remember that. Still doesn't make the things he does any less hurtful. Last night he was saying something about how when he's mad he doesn't think and says stupid things but then afterwards he feels bad and is greatful for me, that someone loves him as much as I do.
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Monday, November 1, 2004

   Why?
Why does he hate me so much? Every other day he either says or does something very avoidable that hurts me. And every time he does it I feel like a part of me dies. One day when theres nothing left, I'll just be a... a... blob. With no emtions left. Each time hurts a little less.

Still... I love him so much.
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