Friday, October 21, 2005

Ugh! Nothing can ever be just something, can it?

First things first. My mom doesn't have and never did have cancer. Don't get me wrong, that takes loads off my shoulders, and I'm really happy about that! But listen to this!

The supposed 'cancerous cells' the docters found in her lungs where actually PNEUMONIA. Pneumonia that, by the way, she contracted from their freaking hospital!

I cannot BELIEVE the things my mother had been telling me! So, I think I mentioned sedations in my previous posts, right? Well, if I didn't, they where using sedations to keep her blood pressure down. They told us that when she was sedated, she was 'sleeping' and 'restful'. Ugh, liars.

According to my mother, and I know she would not lie about this, when she was sedated she was fully aware of everything and anything they where doing! It's not anesthetic, obviously. They put her on sedatives not because she was sick, but because she was 'loud' and 'causing trouble'!

My mother suffered two weeks of hell in that sedation! Imagine being clueless as to where two weeks of your life went?!

Not only that, but they told my Grandmother and Dad that my mom had INCURABLE cancer. They told them that she had no hope for living! Sadistic, if you ask me. My aunt died of the cancer they
said my mother had.

It makes me want to cry, thinking about how much my mother suffered! She said being unable to do anything with tubes stuffed down her throat, drugged out on sedatives and stuck on a hard hospital bed is like being trapped in a coffin! Especially cuz my dad couldn't be with her half the time. He didn't know that she was trapped in the twilight zone, though. Nope, the docters oh so kindly told him that she was 'just fine'.

She ALSO said that they where using MORPHINE in her, which is actually something they usually use on dying patients who are in extreme pain. For goodness sake, she had a minor brain bleed! Does that really require morphine?

By the way, the pneumonia she had almost killed her!

I think we should sue the hospital. They caused us ALL unecessary pain and suffering.

This whole thing screams exit protocol if you ask me. There was really no need for them to use so many sedatives on her! I hate what they did to her! One of the nurses even snapped at her and said " If you touch your mask one more time, I'll intubate you again."

What is this world coming too?

Well anyways.. I'm sorry about that. I just needed to vent. I feel better.

So thanks everyone for your prayers and support. I'm gonna go check up on everybody's sites.

Catch ya later.

P.S. Thank you Kana-chan for your gift! ^.^

EDIT: My comp won't load the text on everyone's sites.. -_-U I promise I'll get to them tomorrow..



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Wednesday, October 19, 2005

   Yay! Happy day!
Hi guys! Guess what? Today my Mamma is coming home!

I went to visit her in the hospital yesterday, and she was sooo much better! Back to her old self, yes in deed! Except she's deeper now then she was before and far more talkative to boot, since she had a near death experience. I was like 0___0 the whole time I was listening!

I also found out what happened to her two weeks ago. According to my mom, she had a brain bleed; AKA, a stroke. Thankfully, nothing bad happened to her brain, no damage or anything!

Okay, so you know how last time I said I didn't want to see Wallace and Gromit? Heh, well, now I wish I had gone to see it XP My bro's said it was hilarious, and I didn't find anything I wanted on the shopping trip anyway! >___< Maybe they'll bring me to see it some other time, since I know they'd love to see it again.

But anyways, you know the game I was talking about in my last post? Well, I was almost finished with it! I was 84% (or maybe 82) finished with the game, when I had the brilliant idea to SAVE and QUIT during one of the missions ( they give you missions throughout the game). So that messed up the system and made the game think I had finished the level even though I didn't, so now it's stuck XP I had to start a new game. *grumbles* But it's alright, I'm happy that my Mamma is coming home.

We hafta keep the house totally clean though, so her lung infection doesn't come back. And the docter says he wants her to go in to get tests done frequently, so they can keep her cancer in check. They're still not ABSOLUTELY sure what it is, and I don't think they really will until the whole lung infection is over and they can do some more tests.

*sigh* It's been a majorly two weeks withought my Mom here. But guess what? She said she could feel everyone's prayers! You guys are so awesome for being so nice and supportive! I wish I could give you something in return. In fact, if there's anything I could help with, just tell me, and I'll be happy to! Because you've done so much for me!

I guess that's all for now, but I'll get back to everyone later!

Oh, and I'm sorry I wasn't able to make it to the sites of those who updated yesterday. I'll be sure to make it to your sites today!

See yall later! *huggles*

I hope I'm not asking too much, but could those of you who where praying for my mom continue praying that treating her cancer will go well? I know she'll survive it, but I know that all prayers are prayers and they count! So can you? If you don't want to, I'm not gonna force you, so do whatever you want ^___^
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Saturday, October 15, 2005

Things are getting better..
Hello minna!

Like I said, things are getting better. My dad is visiting my Mamma in the hospital right now.

Yesterday, we got some good news though. My Mom has been making improvement, little bits at a time, but it's still improvement. And also, the cancer that they found in her lungs hasn't spread. What they mean by that is.. they found the cancer in her lungs, and they believe it is from her lungs, so it'll be easier to treat. Plus, they don't think that the fainting thing when she first went into the hospital has anything to do with her cancer.

I can't stop worrying, but it relieved a bit of the stress. Imagine, if it weren't for the mysterious passing out incident two weeks ago, my Mamma would still be here at home, not knowing about the cancer.. The thought scares me. I think it's a miracle, that one little thing could lead to finding cancer.

Thankfully though, even though it's been hard on everyone in the family, we all have so much support! I've gotten everyone I can to pray for her, and my dear friend SplendorSeal has been an amazing amount of support.

My dad likes me to try and keep my mind off of it though, and I do try. I bought a new video game last week too, and I've had a blast playing it! It's called Sly 2: Band of Thieves. You may or may nt have heard of it, but I ADORED the first Sly Cooper game, so I jumped at the chance to get the second one. It's so cool! ^___^

I'm also going clothes shopping today. My sisters are gonna bring me to the mall, and my brothers are gonna go to the movies to see Wallace and Gromit. No offence to anyone, but I was slightly relieved when my sister said we where going to the mall instead of forcing me to go see Wallace and Gromit. That sort of movie.. just isn't my cup of tea, sorry. Maybe if I went to see it, I'd love it though. *shrugs* Who knows?

*sigh* It's back to school with me. though. I had to go back to school again on Wednesday (hah! I spelled it right!). It was hard to concentrate, but I'm just taking this all one step at a time.

Oh yeah, I got to everyone's sites! And I mean everyone's. ^___^ You've all been so awesome, I couldn't just miss out on what's going on in your lives. What kind of selfish friend would I be? And, as I'm sure you've noticed, I've changed my layout. It's very... blank now, but I couldn't get the colors and stuff to work, so I settled with this ^___^ I'll try and get a pretty BG later, but for now, this big ol' piece of blankness is my layout XD

I'm leaving soon, so I guess I'll see everyone later.

~ Hizuara

Please keep praying for my Mom's recovery from cancer. Every prayer helps! Thanks and God Bless.


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Sunday, October 9, 2005

I just feel so numb right now...

Guys, I know I've been asking everyday for you to pray for my Mom, but I need you to pray for her more then ever right now. I just found out today that she has cancer.

I've lost three of my family members to cancer, but I believe with all my heart that Mama will be okay. I have hundreds of relatives all over the world praying for her, but every little prayer helps! And believe she'll be okay too, because believing is important!

I'm trying to be hopeful, and I beg that you all will keep her in your thoughts. She's a fighter, and I know she loves her family more then anything in this world.

Gosh, I know this is really jumbled, but I guess I just never expected anything like this to ever happen.. and that's part of why I feel so rotten. Please keep praying everyone! She needs every single prayer!

I love you guys, and thanks for everything.

I'll try to keep you updated, but i might not be able to get on very often.

See you.
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Friday, October 7, 2005

Hey guys! I apologize for not being on alot lately and not visiting your sites lately. I'm pretty sure you know about my Mom, and I thank you all SO much for your kindness and prayers.

I went to see her yesterday at the hospital. It was about an hour long drive, but I was so happy to see her. When I went in to see her, I tried to keep a smile on my face and look happy. Even though I knew she was OK, I couldn't help but start crying when I saw her. She had so many bruises from the IVs and there where tubes going into her all over, it made it seem worse then she really was. She was able to talk to me, and she had her fiery personality back, even though she seemed so tired and her talking was slow. She told me that this is just one of lifes curveballs and we'll all be back together soon, and it just made me burst into tears again. I felt like such a crybaby in front of all those nurses, but I really didn't care. She was so happy to see us, so I was just glad.

Thank God everything is going well. Please keep praying for her!

I promise all of you I'll get to your sites when everything is okay again. Can you believe I'll have to catch up with two weeks worth of homework? Gosh, it's gonna be sooo painful XP

I guess I'll see ya soon.

God bless you all! Goodbye!

~ Hizuara


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Sunday, October 2, 2005

Hi guys. I just wanted to give you all an update on what's going on in my life. I wish I could get around to all of your sites, but please please PLEASE understand why I can't.

My Mamma was sent to the hospital in an ambulence last night.. I'm still not entirely sure why, but she was saying strange things about five minutes before my dad yelled to call 911. I was so scared, and I had to take care of my baby brother and sister and they where hyperventilating. I think it might have had something to do with a blood-sugar related seizure or something of the sort. She's been struggling with her blood sugar for a couple years now.

But I'm still not sure. My Grandparents drove down to stay with us, and my Grandmother ( my mother's mother) is flying in from California at 6. The phones have been all tied up all day!

My uncles (my Mom's brothers-in-law by marriage, like my dad's brothers), who had had a fight with my Mom and hadn't talked to her for years, called us up. EVERYONE's been calling.

Plus, to make things even harder, my dog was sooo sick, and we had to take her to the vet. I was afraid she would die during the night. She's usually so active and perky, but she was uber sickly and.. lethargic, I guess would be the word.

So, everyone, I'd appreciate if you would pray for my Mamma. She really means everything to me, so please pray for her.

Gosh.. I'm so tired. I didn't sleep til 5:30 in the morning..

I've gotta go now, so take care.
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Wednesday, September 21, 2005

I'm back~!
Hello everyone! *sigh* It's been two weeks since I last posted, hasn't it?

Well, I'm doing the best I can to keep up with my schoolwork. I wanna take up karate sometime this year, so I've gotta keep everything flowing smoothly. But it's not hard.. not as hard as I thought it would be at least. Algebra is quite fun, actually. So is Biology. But then I'm a biology nut, so that explains that ^.^

I hope everyone has been doing well lately. I'm sorry I missed your posts and such. ( I'll try and not apologize so much, but I figured it's necessary here)

What's new in my life? Well, I babysat this cute little Philipino baby today. His parents both work during the day and they have no-one to watch him, so my family offered to watch him until his Grandma arrives. That'll be in about 9 days so he'll be coming to my house everyday for this week. He's quite energetic though -- he completely wore my parents out. Hee!

I'm gonna try and post another pic ( which happens to be the same picture that I've tried to get up a few times already.) I figured I would try again. Third times a charm, as they say.

See ya!





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Saturday, September 10, 2005

   Yippee!
Hello guys!

Hontou ni gomennasai for not posting and getting to your sites for a week! > < I won't try and make excuses.

My school started three days ago. I got an essay assignment on the first day! *faints* But thankfully, the whole first week is half-days, so it wasn't that bad!

*hops up and down* Two nights ago I had the best best BEST night of my life! I went to the American Idol concert finally! ^ ^ My sister and I went all dressed in green, because in the American Idol concerts you wear the color that represents your favorite so everyone knows who you like best. We like Anthony Fedorov best, so we had green ^ ^ I was sooo giddy that I almost ran past the ticket guy!

Our seats where way close to the stage, only about twenty feet away, so I could see the faces of the Idols and everything! When I first walked into the stadium though, it was sooo breathtaking to see all the PEOPLE! There where thousands and thousands of them! It was completely amazing!

But the best thing was when the Idols came on and performed, though! We had to wait until after intermission to see Anthony and Carrie though, since Anthony was 4th place, so they placed him towards the end in the lineup, and Carrie won, so she's naturally the last to perform!

But I was sooooo AMAZED when Anthony came on stage! He's is so incredibly handsome in real life! But he came over to our side of the stage and the crowds where screaming and stuff. He was waving at everyone and smiling, so my sister and I where jumping up and down and waving to get his attention, but he didn't notice - _ -U He sang four songs ( one was in Spanish, it was brilliant!) but the whole time he didn't notice us, and we where the only people in green in the whole row! It was so discouraging, but I was just so happy to have seen him for real!

Then, he left backstage and they all came back out in different clothes for the next performance. This time, he came over to our side of the stage and we where waving and smiling and blowing him kisses, and he waved, smiled and blew us kisses back! I was so completely shocked that I grabbed my sister's arm and said " He saw us! He saw us!" and he smiled and walked off!

Then Carrie came on, and she is soooo beautiful and she sang her songs perfectly!

The whole experiance was amazing! Plus, I got an American Idol pin and a pic of Anthony that was signed! X3 It was brilliant! I even enjoyed seeing the people I didn't like that much. But when I walked out of the concert after it was over, I had a headache, my throat was sore from all the screaming, and I felt partly deaf X.x It was wierd.

Okay.. I'll stop ranting about it now.. Sorry! I shouldn't go on and on like that. I hope I don't sound like I'm bragging and stuff!

How have you all been doing? Has school been okay? Mine has been so-so.. Not bad, not great, not totally fun. But I've been enjoying my weekend as much as I can. You should too! Play video games all day, stay up late, eat junk food, hang out with your friends, go to the movies, watch TV.. Yup! Two days free of school, so do everything you can!

Okay - maybe not ALL that stuff, but I hope yall enjoy your weekends ^ ^

Again, sorry for this long post ^ ^U

TTFN!


~ Hizuara

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Friday, September 2, 2005

Humdeedum!
Hello again, dear people.

Thanks a bunch for being so incredibly worried about my leg *exaggerating* It's nice to know so many people just adore me so much! *exaggerating even more* ^ ^ Just joking. But thanks for being so nice about it. It's fine now =D

Sorry about not getting around to your sites yesterday. I went to the beach to watch my sister surf. Well, it was more like.. a first attempt at surfing. But considering she'd never done it before, she wasn't half bad.

I didn't go swimming though.. I just sat on the beach listening to music and reading in the sun. I also amused myself by watching the beach goers. Hehe, Fun fun fun! I saw some interesing people, like this guy and his wife who had dreadlocks all the way down to their ankles. I wonder how they keep their hair clean when it's that long?

Well, after our trip to the beach, we ate at a splendid little Thai restaurant. I ate chicken Pad Thai ^^ yummy! But it was funny, because there was no-one else in the restaurant with us except an old couple that looked about in their late sixties, and a young guy all by himself reading a book on diseases. How he could read a book like that while eating, I shall never know. Plus, one of the cooks in the kitchen kept on glaring at my family and me through the door window. ?????

It was a strange experiance, altogether. But loads of fun ^^

I've saved the best news for last though! I'm so happy! My mom got tickets to the American Idol concert! I just can't believe I'm actually gonna go! I'm gonna see my IDOLS! It just makes me soo happy! ^ ^ Well, that might not be the greatest news for you.. but it's just so AMAZING for me! I rarely get to go to these sort of things, let alone an AI concert~!

I hope you all have a wonderful day! Catch ya later!
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Wednesday, August 31, 2005

Ouchie > .
Gah, I hurt my leg last night.. While I was sleeping, I think. Dunno how it happened, but it hurts.

I'm alright though, so there's no need to feel worried or anything! *smiles* See? I'm fine~! ^ ^ The only problem is I won't be able to go outside like I usually do. But that's okay - now I have a great excuse to stay on the computer all day! X3

Hmm.. I guess this has been a majorly boring and incredibly short post.. I really have nothing to say. I might as well go draw something.. Or try and post something again. Or read the HagaRen/FMA manga.. So many different things I could do!

Sorry for this dreadfully boring post. I guess I'll be going~!

Oh yes.. I'd like to wish 'one cute love' a very happy birthday! Have a great day everyone!

~ Hizuara

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