Wednesday, January 10, 2007

   My days........ *snores*
today and well now it's yesterday I woke up at 4am to take my mom to work and hang around with her to make sure she's ok and... well I'm her wheel-chair shoffer!!! :)'s
and today I have to wake up at 4am yet again...
well yesterday I stept at 1... so I'm really tired now!!!
sorry guys, I'll not be posting up my 4th chapter in my story yet!!! I keep getting all these idea's and I just haven't put it all together yet... really sorry...
I'm reading a really GREAT, book!!!! it's one book with 4 stories in it and there all supernatural stories with vampires, werewolves, demons, immortals... the first two I have read I LOVED!!!!!!! I'm on the third but no sparks of really liking it has flew yet... it's ok but on the first page of the other two I was hooked like a fish, so badly that I was yelling run , hide, laugh, and feel heartbroken to the story the characters had to tell...

well today I looked as my usually self, but my mom said I looked like my child-self in a photograph I no longer have... (idaho sis has and would not give it to me) so it was werid for her to just say that anyways...
I helped out at the restrant, talked to old bus drivers, and did favors for my mom... and feel asleep several times standing or sitting down... don't ask me how!!! :)'s
we came home, my slept, I cleaned, and watered plants outside, came back in to only be hauled away by my sister to the kitchen and forced into helping her!!! (I gave in, she doesn't know that though)
we ate... and then my mom began her I'm mad at you stuff... she just doesn't understand me but she thinks she does and she has no clue who I really am... it's sad really... well guess it's late (11:30pm) I have to wake up at 4am so nite...

my qoute of the day: desire what's hidden with in you, not what you may want... you'll never know what's the secret key to opening up your closed off heart... by hollow

nite... ZZZzzz
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Monday, January 8, 2007

   Hey guys.......
sorry i haven't been on lately...
things just haven't been going well for me that's all... yesterday was cool though... I wake up at 4:30am rode in the back freezing me ass off, and waiting around, laughing, and being patient with my mom as she had to work for a "guy" who I know, was sick and couldn't come in today... my mom had a stroke of christ sake and their acting like she just got off of having some sort of illness like the flu or something and putting her back to work... that right there just pisses me the hell off!!! she hasn't seen a doctor yet sence her stroke and can't b/c she has to have a bullshit medical care assisstant bs and so on... and then they tell her some more bs...
it's like if the goverment can't find a way to screw you over the doctors and job and JUST PEOPLE, DO!!!!! that's life for you anyways and another...
she worked for 11 hours and even if I seemed ok with it all to everyone else I was clenching my fist in anger towards this company and everyone and thing it stands for... all my life my mom spent mom of are childhood at this restrant and slaving away doing everything for them... she's the manger and everyother position there when employies decide to call in sick... they were her other family... the ones she spent most of her days with and talk to, while coming home and ignoring me with everyone else surrounding her with their life stories and such... I come from a big family and I was always the last to have a chance to talk to her and ignored the most... you think you know what being alone is try living in my shoes... I fauled at mostly everything in my life but when I really tryied to show my mom I was trying and got a's and b's for the first time in my life, I was happy proud of myself for actually getting up that high (I usually got f's d's but mostly c's and d's) but I tried and you know what I got... noting... no one cared enough to even pat me on the back or say good job... so for my entire life I sat back alone ignored and let others talk and order me around to do launder, dishes, make dinner, clean the house, and bit by bit and situation by situation my family fell apart and left me and my little sis even lonelyer then ever... my so called father took them all away from me and through them out... I blame myself for their hardships inlife everyday and beat myself up as well... but they all turned out ok, happy or semi-ok... but the hatred and anger remains inside me... my father was a violent man and frequently hit us, my mother, my FAMILY!!! and no matter how much he tries to be the good guy now, the memories and hatred never leaves you even from so many year enduring it... it's been about 2 to maybe 3 years maybe longer he hasn't hit anyone of us or my mother but the fear, anger, hate and memories never leave you...

I don't know why I'm writing this and I can't bring myself to delete it... I guess I'm just a stupid person who trusts the world so much even though it's hurt me more then I can count... I guess it hurts you to the point not caring anymore and leaves you hollow and empty from all it's love and care you once had out of you... and I feel hollow, numb, empty, alone, hatred for never having a life my family should have had... not me!!! my FAMILY!!!!!!!!

I don't really care for myself, in my case I deserved everything he gave me... but not them!!! NEVER THEM!!!!!!!!!! I wish I could take it all back, but you can't, you just have to live with it and hope it doesn't eat you up inside...

venting.....
nite and sleep tight,

Hollow~
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Monday, January 1, 2007

   Happy NEW YEAR!!! MAN I'M TIRED...
tImE: 1:48AM
mOoD: HAPPY AND TIRED
qOuTe: WHEN LIFE BRINGS YOU DOWN ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS JUST KEEP SWIMMING JUST KEEP SWIMMING...
BY DORA FROM FINDING NEMO


WELL NEW YEAR WAS PRETTY COOL, i SHOT MY SISTER WITH A ROUND OF A GUN POPPER!!! IT SHOOTS STRINGS AND NEW YEAR STUFF... DRANK APPLE CIDER, AND LIT BLACK CAT FIRER WORKS!!! AND HAD FUN DOING THAT!!! :)'S
TOOK A SHOWER AND AM NOW TIRED... WE ALSO MADE A BIG STAKE DINNER... THAT WAS GOOD!!! YUM... ^^
AND i CUT MYSELF ON ACCIDENT BY HELPING MAKE THE SALSA!!! ouch!!! ><
AND FOR THE LOVERS OF MY STORY i FINISHED CHAPTER 3 SO HERE IT IS... i HOPE YOU LIKE AND i DIDN'T DISAPPOINT ANY OF YOU!!! HAPPY READING AND HAVE A WONDERFUL NEW YEAR DAY AND NIGHT!!! zzzZZZ --



Owen finally found a decent looking place to be held up for the night... it was a old run down shack house far off from any and all shape shifters he knew, miles and miles away from anyone...
Owen- This looks good enough...
he woke her up and slowly placed her down... then told her that he had to make sure no one would come within a few yards of this place...
Owen- Stay here, I'll be right back Okay...
he gave her a kind look and had a grin on his face that was actually a smile too...
Her- You want to get rid of me this quick huh!!!
he smiles...
Owen- I'll be back... I just have to do something real quick... don't be afraid, but I have to... well... mark my territory, in so to speak...
Her- You have to WHAT?!?
the look on her face was priceless and full of shock and humor all at once, all he wanted to do was laugh... she covered her mouth and with her eyes smiled, so he figured she went through with what he wanted to do!!! laugh...
Owen- Fine I'll either strip here and give you my clothes to hold on to while I change into my other form or I can go off into the woods somewhere and strip and change there... your choice lady...
she blushed and smiled...
her- Well whatever suits you best!!!
so he swiftly moved out towards the woods to discard his clothing and shape shift in order to mark his territory around the house... which actually was him peeing all around the property to mark what's his and tell others by scent... NOT, to come near here... that it's HIS!!!
but before he walked away, he glanced back at her one last time, before he changed into the monster he so was...
she was remarkably beautiful and he was baffled by her appearance, she looks exhausted, her hair was a mess but it was so sexy the way it just fell in and around her face...it was a brownish maybe red color... she was breath taking to him... even though the wind blew, it was like it blew in her favor, like it danced with her hair and surrounding only her shoulders and never her face and those... those EYES!!! Her eyes were his main focus ... they showed so much emotion he actually felt pain and sorrow every time he looked into them... As if he were their with her in every moment those memories arose to strike at her and case her pain and utter torture inside... He could so easily get lost in them... So ravishingly wondrous and lovely... they were a blue-ish green with gray outlining around the blue but now they looked a greenish jungle color with the gray...
Owen- Strange...
her- What?!?
he just acted like he didn't hear her question and walked away while he thought to himself...
she looked so fragile and so delicate... but in the heat of a conversation, she becomes so passionate and hostile in situations... she was a woman with lot of layers to her, lots of secrets, trust issues, someone who's use to being on her own... he wanted to get to know her, but didn't want to get attached or her to him... or the growth of emotions and feelings towards one another... and HELL... he didn't need this shit, but she intrigued him, puzzled him and enticed him to the point where he just wanted to beat the answers out of her... or until she would tell him her life story, who she is and everything about her...
he shook his head violently... he was talking nonsense and she was literally scaring the hell out of him... how could one woman do such a thing, a human, to a mere shape shifter!!!
Owen- [talks to-self] pull yourself together... you can't let a WOMAN!!! make you lose your focus and train of thought on what's at hand!!! why am I even risking my hid on this chick...
so he changes and stays a far distance from her as he conducted his business... in the mean time she's observing the area and deciding on whether or not to tell him to his face in the morning or now what's on her mind...
he watches her as he begins dressing and wonders as to WHAT, she's thinking about!!! he strides right up behind her ready for a complaint or an utter detest of where she's to stay, when he stops dead in his tracks when she turns around with a smile on her face and says...
Her- Thank you!!!
stunned silence was all Owen did...
Her- You've done so much, but yet your risking a lot for me and my safety... but you don't have to worry about me no longer!!!
he looked puzzled at what she had meant...
Her- Tomorrow I'll be on my way and a burden no longer to you...
he was shocked by the turn about of a great beginning of a thank you, to a dramatic farewell/good bye and good riddance to him... so much that his mouth was gapping open, but he quickly shut it in an instance and closed the remanding distance between them both... he wondered if she could in fact survive on her own... but cut off that thought and worry in his mind...
Owen- So you think you can handle yourself out here in the wild do you!!! you know theirs wild animals and NOT, including the type and kind your staring at!!!
he shoved that comment right in her face as if she was a mere child being scowled for stealing!!!
Her- I'm certainly able to handle myself, Sir!!! and am in NO, need of your help!!!
she shoved that just as hard back at him with a humph...
Owen- Oh really?!? we have impeccable hearing and flawless night vision that we can in fact see a fly land on a leaf in the depths of the dark... (meaning a cave or some sort of lightless area)
Her- I'm not afraid of dying or in fact facing my own death if that's what your trying to scare me with!!! If it is my time, then it is my time... death comes to all those living no matter how they may try to prevent it... I have seen death and survived OWEN, and if in doing so, when I go on my own, then so be it!!!
Owen was baffled and shocked at her comment, but showed none whatsoever to her in his expression...
Owen- You talk about death as if it is your friend and welcomes you with open arms without pain... let me tell you!!! life is pain, you just relive it and feel more and more of it the longer you live... so don't tell me your not afraid lady, b/c I can MAKE YOU, If I have to in order to show you how it really and truly feels!!!
Her- I didn't mean to come off fearless and unexperienced in knowledge and innocent in nature as a stupid child... I can handle myself Owen!!! I have done so for quite a long time... and I need NOT, of your protection in order to stay alive... I just wanted to let you know I'm going my own way either now or at dawn!!! WITHOUT YOU... I'm sorry to be rude or seem like I do not appreciate your kindness and help... it's just I can handle myself and what may come my way... I don't want to see you risk your life for mine or in fact die b/c of me... I can not live with myself if in fact you were to die for me...
Owen- Can I say something now!!!
he took the silence as a yes...
Owen- You are NOT, a burden to me, a pity take on b/c my kind is so cruel to yours and I want some kind of penance over my soul so that I can go into heaven... I have done wrong, YES!!! I know that, but I will take full responsibility for that when the time comes and death befalls upon me... I don't want to ask god, YEAH!!! if I save this poor unfortunate soul, will you forgive me for all sins against me... I work for my forgiveness and even though I know I may never be forgiven I still will NOT, leave a memory lost woman on her own and try to face it that way until her regrettable memory loss comes back to her... So to bad, to sad... you can't, no matter WHAT!!! Be able to get rid of me... I promise you that!!!
Her- Your an ass hole you know that, a despicable man who doesn't know what the word NO!!! means...
Owen- Yeah, yeah, yeah!!! no name calling... did I insult you with ugly, pity name calling just b/c you lost and can't except that!!! and probably but defiantly, I also think your pretty much just unsure of yourself too!!!
he had a serious but ha ha ha type of look on his face saying he won, he won, what are you gonna do look on him... it made her want to slap it right off...
Her- Aren't you so lucky you have the strength and boldness to push and force a lady under her will just to please yourself... you call, YOU ALL!!! call yourselves men... *humph* your nothing but a bunch of over grown, self indulging, ego maniac's pointing and ordering everyone weaker and less BIG, then yourselves!!! So you take it upon yourselves to just hurt and bring down everyone else by telling them how every things going to be and expect no ifs ands or buts..
Owen just stood their like it was the pledge of the united stated of America and held his hand over his heart in appraise and in pride while also shaking his head yes...
Her- You arrogant bastard...
Owen- Pardon me little lady... what was that you so said about little old me!!! I just might have to wash your mouth out with soap...
she couldn't help it, she burst into laughter... and so did Owen... she looked down and then just barely noticed that a lite mist was starting to roll in and surround them...
Her- We better settle in for the night before this mist encases us in and maybe even separates us from the house...
Owen- Yeah your right... lets get going...
Their was a chill in the air and Owen wished he could have got wood to built a fire but knew right off that the others were out looking for her and the man, so that would have altogether would be a bad idea... but still, he knew she was cold and seen it too... she shivered from time to time and had goosebumps on her arms, legs, and not to mention else where that was hidden under her very thin clothing... the wind just blew right through her and he felt bad that he, on the other hand was warm blooded so the wind and cold effected nothing whatsoever to him... even though he knew she was cold he still just had to ask...
Owen- Are you cold?!?
he eyed her... and began taking off his button up shirt...
Her- No I'm alright, but thank you for asking!!! it's nice outside...
Owen held on to his shirt and watched her walk away thinking she had him fooled...
Owen- Okay, cut the crap... I know your cold so take my shirt...
Her- I said I was fine so keep it... and anyways you have nothing else to where and I told you I won't have you getting sick or whatnot just for me... I'm fine, I told you that and that's that... end of conversation!!! change the subject and lets get moving towards the house...
she kept walking away from him... Owen just couldn't believe her stubbornness and just her unwillingness to simply take his shirt and stay warm... he just couldn't believe the effect this woman was having over him... she already was driving him crazy... maybe that's a sign... a sign to ditch the chick and leave her as she wanted... but two can play that game and his morals and conscience wasn't cool with leaving her on her own, so he was gonna play her game, and he was gonna WIN... but for now he was gonna let her have her way, FOR NOW!!!
Owen- Alright, suit yourself... but I don't wanna hear you gripping later on tonight about the coldness and wanting my shirt then!!!
Her- I won't be, so leave and keep your concerning and worry to yourself... Because I need none of them and I don't need for you to worry about me also!!! GOT IT!!!
Owen- Suit yourself little lady... I'm only warning you forehand about how cold it'll get...
Her- Don't worry and I'M NOT A LITTLE LADY!!! GOT THAT!!!
Owen- Then what am I to call you!!! You don't even know your own name, so what are we gonna call you!!!
she thought to herself for a bit and then she heard in the back of her mind two names calling out to her...
Her- Naomi... Dani... [says with a puzzled look on her face] Naomi or Dani, Owen... choose one for me...
Owen- Naomi or Dani huh?!? where did you pick out those names from?!? why is it that those names you so said are even yours... and why can't you figure out which ones your name?!? What's going on here?!?
Her- I don't know, they sound so Familiar to me, but I just can't figure out where from or how!!! I don't understand this, why I have to just wake up and remember nothing... do you think I want this for me or I'm playing some sort of pity me type of game so you'll help me!!! DO YOU OWEN?!? Why would I, I just told you I want to go on my own and you think I'm giving you some sort of bullshit so you'll help me out!!!
Owen- why are you so defensive that you have to stand up for yourself on every little bad or even implying something bad that you might be doing, why do you have to defend yourself so strongly?!? why is it that you think for every question I ask you it's a bad one on your part and for me as well?!? What are you hiding from me?!?
Her- I don't remember anything Owen... Why would I remember if I was or not... and you only asked me one question about myself so far other then when you asked for my name previously tonight... Why are you so forthcoming in knowing everything you can about me?!? and why are you so
impatient?!?
Owen- Maybe it's because you get under my skin or that theres something that's just not right about you that doesn't make any sense...
Her- Like what Owen?!?
Owen- Just how the whole night everyone wanted to find you and you where mysteriously knocked out and remember nothing of how you where running with that strange guy and who you are!!! that's strange to me!!! and why was the elder Cedric not willing to just do away with you like all the others he had done before you... somethings not right here!!! and I intend to find out!!! but for now I'll have to wait because you can't seem to remember... and I'm a patient man, I can wait!!! but I won't wait long!!!
Her- I'm not keeping anything from you Owen!!! I DON'T REMEMBER!!! why is that so hard for you to understand!!!
she runs off into the misty fog...
Owen- Naomi, Dani, hey YOU!!! [runs after her]
she runs into the misty fog neither seeing the way she's going or behind her... but knows she doesn't want to go back or be with Owen any longer... she sees trees and branches next to her as she runs by but still gets swatted in the face, arms and leg as shes running past them at a close range... but she doesn't see the tree branch on the ground before she trips over it... she stumbles at full speed on the medium size branch, hits a huge log in front of it with her rib cage and brakes a few ribs and knows that when she hears them brake, scraps her cheek and face on a rough part of the log that has her feeling a warmness rushing down her right side and finally hit the ground floor on the other side of the log only to hit a big rock on the left side of her head that utterly knocks her out...
Owen finds her later on only to be full of anger at himself for causing the situation shes in... he upset her, hurt her feeling which had her running away from him which had caused her to come upon this state that she's in now...
Owen- [talks to-self] Owen you ass hole, she's right... you are one!!!
And as Owen's carrying her to the house and trying to clean up her wounds and cuts while he's cursing himself, she's remembering.....

END OF CHAPTER 3

i HOPE YOU ENJOYED AND LIKED IT!!! LET ME KNOW WHATCHA THOUGHT AND GOOD NITE... SLEEP TIGHT AND KEEP WARM!!! IT'S COLD HERE... Burr... *SHIVERS CUZ I'M STIL WET AND IT'S COLD* NITE...
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Sunday, December 31, 2006

   Hi... *but with a sad but puzzled look on face*
hi guys!!! I hope your christmas and... well your new years has and will be A THRILLING NEW EXPERIANCE!!! I'm sorry I haven't been on in a while I meant to be but couldn't and never was able to get on... a lot of things have been happening and I'm finding myself second guessing myself and things and I'm thinking about leaving myotaku... I don't know it's just I feel like my life isn't that important to write down anymore and my stories, their not good enough for putting on anymore... I think you all are just trying not to hurt my feeling by saying that it's bad or something... I don't know... I'm just a a point in my life where I have to stop pretending my lifes ok and come to the hard truth and facts that it isn't and face them and it!!!

maybe I'm just setting myself up to fall again and being so idoitic and dumb to really figure out that life isn't so wonderful on the outside that I see it is... and what i mean by that is nature, wind, rain, stormy weather, clouds, moonlit nights full of stars and sunsets with red, purple, blue, dark blue and other wonderful and so BEATUIFUL COLORS that it has me sighing b/c I wish I was apart of it, that it could last forever... I'm just in one of my crazy and depressing moods again I think or maybe I'm just finding myself hating life even more then I did before and wanting to erase it from me...

I'm sorry for the sad and probably depressing post for you guys it's just I'm letting you guys know what's up and how I feel... I'm being honest and hope I don't worry any of you...

my christmas was alright, I got a box of tissues (puffs) I actually guessed them before opening it!!! it was crazy, I got a heater earlier from my sister to use, a bath soap set, candy, a nail kit (I don't really have nails but loved it anyways), slippers, and ear phones!!! we made tamales the night before and I got sick from eating them and my aunts food at are christmas thingy!!! it was pretty cool!!! are christmas day too!!!
well my moms still doing ok but I'm still worried, she's stressed out all the time b/c of work, and us!!! I just hope she will over come this... we're going to go to the doctors soon and see what's up!!! she still can't feel her left side (it's numb) and she's still having trouble walking but is ok... she just scares me from time to time... her legs start shaking, sometimes she grabs really, and I MEAN REALLY HOT THINGS AND doesn't even feel it... I'm just scared... stressed out and having so much pressure put up on me that I feel like I'm going to explode... no one understands!!! I means I take care of my mom, worry about her, she if she's ok, make her food, thanks god she can eat it and I worry about her swallowing it b/c when she was in the hopital she was swallowing water down the wrong throat pipe and into her lungs... god, no one understands how much worry and fear I'm keeping inside... sometimes I feel like she gone already... or like she will be tomorrow and the way she talks, it's like she wants to die... she's so independent, she was and it's killing her to have to be pushed everywhere she wants to go, she can't walk their anymore like she use to, and it's just killing her you can see it and that hurts me, it's like someones punching me in the gut or my chest is caving in from all the pain i'm feeling and wants it to stop by closing/sufficating me/myself from the pain but it's only making it worse.....
I just feel alone here... here with all this painful thinking and worry for my mother... it's like no one here even cares or worries about her like I do... I feel like I'm facing something so strong that I can't even see I'm losing b/c i'm clouded by grief and worry that I can't see I'm losing... that i'm losing everything... I just don't know what to do anymore guys!!! I don't...............

I'll try to get on tomorrow if I can but doubt I'll be able to... my sis will be on... thanks for listening... well reading actually!!! thanks guys I really appreciate it!!! Have a great new years and don't party to hard!!! :)'s
I haven't finished the 3 chapter yet but I'm close ok!!!

L8terz,

~hollow~ *Hugs you and reads you a bed time story about how dreams DO, really come true and then kisses you on the forehead and says goodnite* ZZZzzz

Time: 1:10am
Mood: tired and confused about things
Thinking: what tomorrow will bring
Listening to: silence

nite...ZZZzzzZZZzzz XOXO....
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Friday, December 22, 2006

   Hisa Hiei Kurayami, Nami at Ami...
It means: long lasting flying darkness, waves at friend!!!

Time: 8 or 9am
listening to: trapt-someone in control
mood: sad and gloomy just like nature is right over here!!! it's raining, and I feel like doning the same...


well last night I stayed up drawing a comic for a contest that cant escapes will judge on her site!!! I kinda just did if for fun too... I stayed up till 3am and got introuble by my so called dad... then I woke up around 6 or 7 to help my mom and sis get ready to go to town... and now I'm all alone yet again... on a stormy, rainy, cloudy, beautiful day!!! I just LOVE!!! this kind's of days!!! :)'s
well I told you I would post my story today and here it is!!! the second chapter!!! I hope you like and sorry about the longness of it!!! enjoy!!! and don't judge to harshly!!!




As night faded and the orange blood stained moon fell below the tree's and the beautiful green mountains... I gazed out there and wondered if what all happened was all a dream or reality... I still couldn't believe it, what had all happened, the scenario of tonight kept replaying in her mind... the blood and the cold stiff body lying dead on the ground... her running with that strange man... and the mysterious stranger that helped her flee and hind from the... well lets just call them wolf people... she tried to push all that had happened and any other non-scene of things that happened tonight out of her mind...the wind still blew and the temperatures were dropping...
Her I'm freezing!!! [rubs shoulders with her hands and then rubs hands together while blowing her warm hot breath on them]
Her Why is it so cold?!?
Her mind ached and she was having a terrible head ache!!! images kept flashing in her mind but she didn't know who they were or what it meant... people screaming, calling for help... yelling for someone to help them and for loved ones to run... fire and flames in golfed houses and burned people alive... the cries and screams they gave off where to much to bear, overbearing and THEY JUST WOULDN'T STOP...
she put her hands on her head and tried to push the screams, cries, and images away while rocking back and forth...
Owen- Are you Okay?!? what's wrong?!?
she froze and slowly dropped her hands and looked at him... his eyes were caring and filled with mystery and wonder... along with a sadness far off in them...
Owen- did you hear me?!?
she snapped out of it and shook her head a bit...
Her- I'm fine... I'm just not feeling quite well that's all...
he looked at her suspicious and wondered what she was hiding...
Owen- Are you sure?!?
Her- Yeah, I'm fine... don't worry about me... I'm just feeling under the weather right now... not to mention I'm freezing cold...
she looked away... away from his eyes... that were pleading for answers and filling with doubt and worry...
Owen- well let me get you down from their and we'll can get going... By the way what's your name?!?
Her- aren't you going to tell me yours first!!!
Owen- Oh, I get it... trust issues... alright, I suppose I can go first...
he looks at her more suspiciously... and wonders why she asked him to go first... He paused for a moment before saying his name...
Owen-... just call me Owen... [he reaches out his hand when he says it]
she looks down at it and then back at him...
Her- ...... [she opens her mouth to say her name and... she can't even remember ever having a name]
the look on her face gave Owen doubt and he wondered why she was stalling in giving him her name... like as if she didn't quite or wasn't sure it was alright in giving him it ... then Owen looks at her once more and then remembers what Aaron said...We heard their were two lost humans in the forest and stared tracking them and then we found out it was a female and an older male... but we had smelled a faint scent of blood... we just assumed it was her that was injured and we thought it might be coming from her... and that she was injured in some type of way and... he looked back at her and she was confused and concentrating really hard...
Owen- You don't remember do you?!?
Her- What's wrong with me?!? I have a name... everyone does!!! why can't I JUST, remember it?!?
Owen- What do you remember last?!? I mean what's the last thing you remember?!?
Her- Running in the woods with some guy and then meeting you...
Owen- Thats it?!? are you sure!!!
Her- Yeah... I've been thinking, wondering, remembering and asking myself if what just happened was real and I keep having these images pop into my head!!!
Owen- Images of what?!?
Her- It doesn't matter and I don't really trust you at the moment... SORRY, but It's the truth!!!
their was a look of disappointment in his eyes and then he stretched out his hands to grab her to help her down...
Owen- Come on... we have to move... find a place to stay out of reach and smelling distance of...
He looked at her... her eyes gave off an Ora of mixed intentions and meanings... and caution as to WHAT. he was implying to...
Owen- I'm NOT, going to hurt you... I promise!!! you can trust me!!!
Her- I trust you... I'm just sort of suspicious of your motives and I'm cautious of how you think...
Owen- What are you implying here?!?
Her- I'm saying I'm here alone and a woma...
Owen- I would NEVER... never take advantage of a woman!!!
His eyes flared up with anger and disappointment of her accusing him of something despicable like that... he looked away and dropped his hands suddenly... he faced her but his head was dropped and he faced the ground...
Her- ...I...I...
Her- I'm sorry... I didn't mean to...
Owen- You made yourself perfectly clear that I'm like them... savages with only one thing in mind... to take a woman to ravage, have fun with, and then dispose of her when I'm done...
Her- I... I...
Owen- You what!!! your sorry and didn't mean for it to come out that way!!! what!!! tell me!!!
Her- What am I suppose to think OWEN... after what all happened and you wanting to help me... I don't get it!!! WHY, why would you do something stupid and dangerous in simply helping me!!! I'm not even your kind!!! WHY?!? Tell me...
Her- What do you see in me that's worth saving and risking yourself to help!!! I'm a nobody who can't even remember her own name!!! I'm not worth the aggravation and risk in helping!!! Just leave me be and go on your own way!!! I'm nothing to you but a killing machine that kills your kind!!! so leave me and go!!! GO!!!!!!!!
He looked at her... he just looked at her and wondered why she felt that way and no matter what she said he couldn't, he wouldn't just leave her...
Owen- Why do you say such things like that?!? you matter, your alive and living aren't you?!? and never mind that I might be risking something!!! it's mine to risk not yours!!! so if I want to risk it all in saving you then you better try your ASS off in making sure you survive this ordeal!!!
he's eyes glowed as he yelled at her and they were beautiful!!! she was staring at them the whole time... A beautiful lavender-purple with a hint of dark green in them...
she looked away and bam like if a rock hit her in the head... A memory came to her in a loving womans voice and of a small young girl... [Sweetie, why are you crying?!? you risk so much for me momma and you never let that stop or prevent that reason from stopping you... Why momma, what makes me so important to risk you life in making sure we have food, clothes, and a roof over are heads!!! it's not worth it momma!!! I'm not worth it!!! Hush, hush now sweetie... you know it's only you and me now sweet heart and we have to make it through and survive!!! For your papa and little brother's sake!!! But why, momma?!? They risked their lives too... and there dead now, because of us, because we couldn't save them and live a normal life without hardship and labor!!! It's not fare... *sobs and weeps* It's not fare... I know sweet heart but we owe it to both of them to try and make it throughout the tough times... there'll always be hardship for us sweet heart but we have to look at it as a blessing that hope and salvation will soon be on it's way to us!!! you'll see sweetie, you'll see!!! *the voices drift away from her*] Tears swiftly fall from her eyes and cheek as they land on Owen's outstretched hand... she places her hands over her eyes and weep for them... the mother and the young girl sitting alone in a alleyway full of rotten food and broken shattered glass on the ground beside them... their only shelter from the rain above them was a huge wooden box that they barely fitted in...
she didn't hear Owen climb up the tree and sit next to her... he slowly pulled her hands away from her hidden face and began wiping the tears away...
Owen- I'm sorry!!! I didn't mean to make you cry...
he noticed her eyes, the color of them... and just stared at them... they were a blue-ish green with gray in the outlining of them... he looked in the depth of them trying to look for answers but found only pain and sadness within them... she looked away and closed her eyes shut...
Owen- Why are you hiding from me?!? both your eyes and your emotions?!? YOU?!?
Her- Because their mine to hold... my burden and pain to keep!!!
He slowly began turning her face towards his...
Owen- Their NOT meant to hurt you... and cause so much pain, anguish, and sorrow to you!!!
Her- How do you know?!? how do you know that their not suppose to cause that?!? huh?!? You don't even know how or what I feel!!! you just sense pain and sorrow... and you think you can wipe it away!!! You don't feel it, my pain... it'll still be their no matter who many tears you wipe away!!! it'll never leave me or go away... It's my burden and feeling to bare... and I'll face it with open arms if and when I have to!!!
she stared to climb down and he stopped her by grabbing her arm!!!
Owen- Do you think it'll go away!!! do you honestly think you can fight and believe the pain will fade!!!
Her- Why do you care?!?
Owen- It won't... I know!!! the pain... it'll eat at you and eat at you till you want to escape that feeling and run or end it... end it by taking that last and final plunge and when your at the end of your rope...
Her- What are you saying?!?
Owen- Killing yourself... commit suicide as a last act of trying to escape the pain...
she pried her arm free and got down...she turned her back to him and that's when he saw the blood... he froze inside and rushed down in a jump to see the gash on the back of her head...
Her- OUCH!!! what are you doing?!?
Owen- Your bleeding and I'm checking out the wound to see if it'll need stitches or just a bandage on it!!!
Her- What wound?!?
he touched her gash and images and memories rushed into her mind... it was to much for her to take and she fell to her knees applying pressure to her forehead with her hand... all the while her head pulsed and throbbed made her move her head side to side and back and forth... she grabbed the earth with the other hand...
Owen- What's wrong?!? what's the matter?!?
the only answer or sound he got from her was inhaling and exhaling heavily with sharp and quick breathing... along with moaning and grunts from occasions...
she reached out with her other hand and he grabbed it...
Owen- Talk to me!!! say something!!! COME ON...
Her- No mommy, no... their coming!!! I'll distract them... don't leave me!!!
she started weeping... and calling out for her mother... Owen without thinking knelled beside her grabbed her and held her in his arms calling out to her to come back... she started shaking rapidly and violently... like someone was shaking her and scaring her half to death... he shook her and tried his best to get her back, but she just kept on talking to herself, shaking, and grabbing at her head as if something was eating the insides of it and she couldn't get it out... he didn't want to do this but he slapped her... twice in the face and everything stopped... the shaking, talking, and the weeping sounds... her hand slowly fell to her side but her eyes reminded closed... tears rapidly fell from her eyes and cheek... they fell to the ground with a thump... he knelled their in shock and stared at her... she got up, her eyes still closed and walked a few spaces and screamed!!!
Her- WHY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
she fell once more to the ground but got in the fetal position and cried... she held herself and cried!!!
Owen got up picked her up and carried her away!!! she still held, her eyes shut and her face stung from where he had hit her twice... he didn't touch her other then carrying her... she cradled herself into his arms and chest while she weeped on his shirt... she brushed her face against his t-shirt then opened her eyes and said two word to him before she drifted asleep...
Her- Thank you...
he looked down upon her face with tear strikes on her cheek and felt a pull at his heart... he had smacked her, yelled at her and her reply was thank you!!! and she now finally trusted him, felt safe with him and took comfort from him... and he wanted to wipe all her tears away and shield her from every pain and feeling she would ever feel again... Owen then realized as he gazed at her... he was falling in love with her and he looked away... and he hated himself for that, but he knew in his heart that he couldn't love her and give her a life of love... he was a lone wolf who could never love and be loved for what he truly was and is inside... a monster awakened by the call of the moon... a man shadowed inside and loved only by the light of the forsaken moon......... and he too, would be forsaken... to all who came across him and ever known him...

end of chapter 2
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Thursday, December 21, 2006

   the 19th and todays events and first chapter of my story!!!
yeah I'm finally will be updated with the days now and tomorrow will be writing ON!!! the day for once!!! :)

well yesterday I got cursed at by my mother!!! Yeah, a rank higher then Bit**!!! I'm a Fuc***, now!!! how, super!!! *spirits are instantly lifted, then drop back down even faster* oh well...
me and my sis watched stay alive a horror movie, which was pretty good!!! and then got brutally told that WE'RE THE CLOSED OFF DUMB SHEEP WHO LIVE LIFE TAKING ORDERS, AND THAT WE SHOULD BE THE OPEN MINDED SHEEP WHO GIVE THE ORDERS AND LIVE A HAPPY LIFE!!! don't ask if you have NO idea what I'm talking about b/c it's just insane and crazy how are mom just shoved that one in are face!!!
then I pretty much went to bed!!

well today I woke up early around 6 and went to work w/ my mother where we froze pretty much to DEATH, in her office!!! (it has openings and holes so the cold rushes through the openings)
and did I mention my mother drove today!!! *scared out of mind* she can't even see quite well and move her left side as well and she drove us!!! *fearing for life*
if some of you don't know, my mother had a stroke and thinks she can over come it rather quickly and she's just over pushing her slef and I'm just so scared and worried she'll just snap and hurt herself even worse this time and have a total melt down and kill someone!!! LIKE ME!!! lol... but seriously I'm just worried for her!!!
then we came home around 2 and I fell sleep as did my mom and then was awakened at an unknown time b/c my older sister tolk my alarm clock and I'm now without time!!! weird and very frustrating especially in the night!!!
I then made dinner and watched the ant bully which was a VERY cute and funny movie!!! I fought w/ my sis pretty much all day and now hate myself for it!!! she always turns me into the monster and bad guy and like a fool I always feel really bad even though she was really the monster!!!
well I told you I would post my story and I will but I don't want you all to read a VERY long post so I will only post the first chapter!!! I pretty much wrote it in post like form so the bold names or guy/stranger words are the characters and what they pretty much say after them!!! I hope you can read and understand it, it's kinda writen in a play format so good luck!!! chuckles but feels nervous* don't judge to harsely...


Moonlight shadow


A forest, a memory, a dream at that... or was it a nightmare that just went out of control... I was holding a strange mans hand running, trying to get away from whatever it was chasing us. he urged me to run faster and harder, but I was to weak and tired and my hand slipped through his fingers and hold... he let go of my hand, it seemed though, but I kept on running with him. he looked back with a sad look in his eyes and I focused on them and lost my footing and fell to the hard floor of rocks and dirt... I called to him to help me, but all he did was run and left me to face whatever certain fate was coming my way... a single tear rolled down my cheek as I kept calling to him, but he only looked back once and their was coldness and relief in his eyes that I was the one to fall and be the one to face the object of fear... I tried to run to him and called out to him once again but I was now all alone. so I told myself why run when he left me to die and face this fate alone, but then why when I'm ready to face it am I trembling and ready to bolt at whatever is to come my way... I fell to my knee's and looked to the ground ready to face the shadow and not the face that I heard coming... as the footsteps stopped in front of me, I looked up slowly, from his bare feet, black pants, his open shirt that showed his bare chest, to his incredible lavender pale eyes... he bent down to ask me if I was alright when loud howls from a distance caught both are attentions... he gazed off with fear and worry in his eyes and rushed me up off the ground...
Guy:- You can't be here, you have to leave NOW!!!
he told me with panic and fear in his eyes... I ran into his arms and held him tight.
Her:- I don't want to be alone...
the howls grew closer with in feet from us...
Guy:- Run... Run, NOW!!!
His eyes filled with sadness and fear... he looked at me and wiped the tears away. he looked in my eyes and knew I couldn't be saved... he held me close and then we stared to run, we ran into a canopy of tree's and bushes...
Guy:- Stay out of view and now matter what you see, don't make a sound or scream...
the howls got closer and closer... I climbed in a tree full of leaves and branches to hide me and he stood in plain view ready to take on the howls of wolves coming are way... they came out of every corner and they gathered around him, as if ready to attack him from every corner, and they were beautiful huge wolves, frightening but beautiful... and he looked at them with calmness and began to talk to them...
Guy:- What are you guys doing in this part of the woods?!?
and then the shocking truth of fear came to be... the pack of 6 wolves began shedding their fur and standing upright... right before me they changed to people, nude men right before my very eyes... I slammed my hand against my mouth to hold in my muffed scream of my horrifying conclusion of what I just saw... The trembling and shaking came out of no where and now I knew why the man who lead me running through the forest was glad I fell, so I would buy him time to flee and run away from them!!!

I just couldn't believe what was happening... what had happened... the whole pack of wolves turned into humans, human beings!!!
Her- Pull yourself together before they notice you...
They all exchanged looks and greeting towards one another and then, well it seemed like to me as if he was the head honcho of the group... came upon the stranger who helping me and answered his question...
wolf guy- We're chasing two humans, an older fellow and a young adult female... she's probably around 19 or 25... and we... [he looks at others with a grin] Well... we wanted to have a Little FUN...
Guy- Aaron, you got to stop this... You got to stop this now!!! Your putting us all in danger...
wolf guy is Aaron- oh come on, I'm just having a little fun and when we're done with her we'll let you have some too... what's left of her anyways... [chuckles]
Stranger clinches fist and stares at him with hate and anger in his eyes...
Guy- what's wrong with you Aaron, she's human, what your doing is wrong and not to mention dangerous for all of us shape shifters...
Aaron- [smirk on face] b/c are kind doesn't give it to us willingly and they tend to bite back and tare us to pieces when we're tangling in the bed sheets... humans are weak and easy... and I love the way they scream when I'm showing them a good time... [he turns back to slap one of his pack mates on the hand] yeah...
the guy [scoffs] he stares at him and as Aaron's turning (Guy) punches him in the gut, before he sees it coming ... and continues by hitting him in the face when he's coming back up to face him... Aaron fell flat on his back, with blood escaping from his noise and mouth...
Aaron- what the HELL was that for... and what's with the cheap ass shot you bastard... what the fuck, Nathaniel...
Guy- You know I don't go by that name anymore... it's dead to me, and if you bring it up EVER again... I'll make sure you never will...
Their was sadness and hate in his eyes when he said that... pain and anger mixed together is what usually causes destruction, death, and devastation... and he'll leave all that in his pathway where ever he might go... Aaron seemed nervous and very aware of his surrounding... but was more cautious of Nathaniel and what he might do next...
Aaron- I'm sorry, I'm sorry man.... I didn't mean to say it... it just slipped out that's all... I didn't mean to sound like a smart ass and shit when i said it......
Nathaniel/Guy- [looks away with teeth clinches and fists] Just don't let it happen again, Aaron...(sounds like a smart ass)
Their was a challenge in his eyes and in the way he said it as he looked back at Aaron... Like he was daring him to say it, so hurt him if he did... The silence went on forever it seemed like, but it was only about 3 minutes, but to me is was since I was staring into Nathaniel's eyes the whole time... I was lost in them and I could almost feel the anger lashing out at me, daring me alone to say it... But no one did and someone came out of the bushes and stopped the whole thing with one word...
wolf messenger- Cedric's...[panting and out of breath]
He fell over and hit the ground with an amount of force... he was exhausted, his face was bloody and blood was gushing out of hidden wounds on his body... Almost everyone froze with fear in their eyes from the mention of that very name and they waited for him to continue...
I winced at all the blood seeping out of his cuts and wounds... I wanted to go down and help him though...
Her- Oh, my God.....(puts hand on mouth and quickly looks away)
I feared I would throw up if I took in another sight of his tore up bloody body... he had skin and pieces of him hanging off his arms and legs like he was hung by hooks on those pieces of flesh that hung on him...
wolf messenger- It's Cedric... He's on his way... [moans in pain] He found out what we we're going to do and He's Pissed...
Aaron- Damn... either he has a very good fucking hearing or we have a snitch/rat in are mists...(he looks side to side at all the people around him...) I know it's not my buddy here who punched me earlier... b/c he doesn't hang the way we do, and if he had a problem with me he'd tell me to my face... so um mm, I wonder, who it could be... he looked back at the messenger and his eyes told everyone who it “Logically”was...
It made sense and I wondered what was going to happen, then all of a sudden Aaron's nails turned to razer sharp claws...
messenger- Please Aaron... I beg you... please, it wasn't me... you have to believe me... I would never betray you in anyway... Aaron, Noooooooo.... Pleeeease!!!
and right at that very moment Aaron lashed out at his neck with such force that almost tore his head off... Aaron's whole entire body was soaked in blood, the Messengers limp body fell to the ground and lay fragile and weary as if he didn't believe or would have never guessed and seen it possibly coming from a friend... his friend, who in fact killed him... his eyes grew wide with shock, pain and a truth in them that told them all that he really wasn't the one who betrayed them... but they all ignored that sign and the look in his eyes... all except Nathaniel, he seen the truth and through the very last breath and movement the messenger had left... Nathaniel held his hand as he dead with tears in his eyes... Nathaniel got up slowly and pushed Aaron fiercely to the ground... But Aaron got back up with ease...
Nathaniel/guy- You son of a.... ahhhhh... [he slammed his fist against a tree several times] GOD!!!!!!!!!
Aaron- What.... What the fuck is your problem?!?
Nathaniel/Guy- You!!! Your my fucking problem and your an ass hole you know that!!! he was your best fucking friend and you just Killed him... you killed him because you had a feeling... a feeling he was the rat/snitch...
Aaron- Yea, and I would do it again if I had to...
Nathaniel tackles Aaron down hard and it knocks the wind out of him... Nathaniel starts punching him in the face and gut... Everyones cheering and yelling Nathaniel and Aaron on... all I could do was watch and hope Nathaniel wins... then the yelling stopped... the crowed that formed around the two split apart down in the middle showing off a magnificent, Huge Black and Grey wolf coming down through and snarling at all of them... Nathaniel and Aaron were still fighting, rolling around, and throwing punches at one another... the wolf jumps at them and while he's in mid-air he transforms into his human state and he then pulls them apart...
Cedric- what's going on here?!? I demand an explanation right now!!! says in with a fierce and dominate attitude...
They all look down and left the explaining for Aaron to do... Cedric looks towards the messengers dead cold body and the splatter of blood soaked on Aaron's clothing and forearms...
Cedric- Don't make me repeat myself!!!!!! I want an answer and right NOW... So spill it, Aaron... Or will I have to spill you and your blood like you've done so eagerly to your friend here lying dead on the ground!!! and I do MEAN, everything!!!
Aaron was silent for a moment, they all we're and Nathanael never once looked up at me... not throughout the confrontation of the wolf pack, the messenger, or this.... it was like he wouldn't dare look up here because it might signal where I'm at... just right at that moment he looked up at me... it was brief and only for a second but the look he gave me was worry and it was filled with comfort as if he was telling me every thing's going to be Okay and to hang in there just a little while longer...
Aaron-[wipes blood from bottom lip as he glances at the pack and then at Nathaniel with anger in his eyes...] We heard their were two lost humans in the forest and we found out by tracking them that it was a female and an older male traveling together... but we smelled a faint scent of blood and we figured it would be an easy kill so we went in search of them... we hoped it would have been the female that was injured in some type of way but we never got within sight of them to actually see who was the injured party member...
Cedric- Let me guess you took it up upon yourselves to find her and to show her a good time... Am I warm or boiling hot yet!!! don't lie to me either pack or I'll rule with an iron fist and you know how tough, rough, lethal my ruling of punishments can get!!! Just try me...
It looked as if Aaron considered his answer for a moment... pondering and choosing the right words to say before answering him.... as if he valued his life and wouldn't dare juggle with something that precious to him...
Aaron- To be exact, we had intended to find her and have are fun... but we also wanted to find the male, hunt him down, slice the throat and soak are fur with his blood...
Cedric- you know the rules of are kind and things that are forbidden... and ravishing a human is one of them!!! but killing a male in protecting are pack is not... So lets be off in are hunt and Aaron...
Aaron- Yes... [holding his breath in anticipation and in dread]
Cedric- bury your friend and pay your respects to him and his family... and tell them what you've done to him and why!!!
Aaron- Yes, elder...
Cedric- Well, get to it... and for the rest of you... hunt down the male... and if you come across the girl, Leave her unharmed and untouched!!! bring her to me... and if any or you have her scent on yourselves I'll personally kill you myself!!! is that perfectly clear... did I make myself understood to you all?!?
all spoke at once- Yes!!!!!!
- Good, now get going and bring the male to me when you catch him!!! unspoiled and dead...
Nathanael/Guy- I'd like to stay behind if that's alright elder!?! I have things to attend to...
Cedric- of course Owen, it's good to see you again... it's been a long time!!!
Owen is Nathaniel- it has... and I'd like to recollect myself and gather my bearings in order to face the rest of the “relatives”...
Cedric- take as much time as you need, and always remember your welcomed to stay in my house for a while till you built your own or find a reasonable one yourself in the mean time...
Owen- Thank you Cedric...
Cedric- you've always been a son to me, Owen... you know that right!!! and my family.... so it wouldn't offend me if you chose to stay out in the woods then in the company of my house... I would understand...
Owen-You've done so much for me already Cedric... I wouldn't want to overstep myself and your bounds...
Cedric- Nonsense, Owen!!! it's alright if you chose to stay with us or somewhere else... as long as it's comfortable and suitable to you... besides I could use the company since my household is overrun-ed and ruled by woman... [they both chuckled and laughed]
Owen- Need help putting the misses back in line!!! [they both chuckled again and patted each other on the back]
Cedric- What am I going to do with you Owen...
Owen- I'll tell you what I don't want you to do to me...
Cedric- Which is..............
Owen- Try to marry me off to one of your 7 daughters!!!! [they laughed harder and fuller then before]
she watched and guessed they probably laughed that way because Owen's comment was true... that Cedric would try to marry him off with one of them!!! they seemed very close, like in a father son type of way but from the way they were talking you would have known that they were not... my hands started shaking from the cold breeze coming up out of no where... I really wasn't wearing warm clothing, the wind blew right through them and I couldn't stay warm like I would if I was on the ground... since the breeze was in fact coming upward and hitting me everywhere... [shivering and trying to warm hands with her warm breath] she still pondered and tried to remember something that trying to comeback to her but it didn't and she wondered what happened to her and why has she forgotten everything from when she was running in the forest with that strange man pulling her along... her past... everything Just was gone... vanished and disappeared from her... she looked back at Cedric and Owen laughing and having a good time and then her eyes drifted towards Aaron... and his gaze was aimed at the both of them... with hate in his eyes and it was almost like he had a death wish for both of them... it was a cold stare, cruel and ugly.. he began dragging the body and then he lifted it up onto his shoulders and walked away... silently into the night with blood dripping on him and only a memory of a dead friend calling out to him....


End of chapter 1
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Tuesday, December 19, 2006

   the 18th...
time: midnight 12:20
mood: a mix of anger, frustration, sadness and lonelyness...
quote: Insanity is the inability to judge ones-self!!! by hollow


well the one and crazy thing that happened to me today was pretty much one of the coolest things that happened today!!! I got asked out!!! :)'s
it might be weird at first, but I hope and think It'll work out just GREAT!!! :)'s

then my sis brought home my favorite book, ANIME BOOK and the one I was just dying to read!!! MARK OF THE SUCCUBUS By Ashly Raiti and art By Irene Flores!!! and the art is wonderful and so beautiful!!! but the story is so awesome and heartwarming that you just want to be apart of the book, and in ways , well to me I am... I'm crazy, I know... :)'s and it's Volume 1.

I read it all and just wanted to read it again!!! and my sis will bring home the second one when I give her the first one!!! I have to and so desperately WANT, to buy them!!! there's only 1 and 2 so far!!! it's a new book, farely recent!!! and then I helped my little sis out with her chores and then got bitched at by my older sis for the car window not being rolled back up!!! (it's broken and she's mad b/c I rolled it down and now she can't roll it back up!!! and it's cold...) we have to use plyers to do it and it's hard, I tried once already and couldn't...
then I hung out with my neice and then got bitched out by my mom for some unknown reason and then waited for my sis to get off and then was able to get on!!! so now here I am and I'll either be posting my story up tomorrow or the next and it'll be the first and second chapt and then I'll post up the 3rd on the next day so you all won't have to read so much!!! and believe me I write a lot!!! :)'s
so I hope your all ready for a long read!!! and it's not forever long, so done worry, but it's kinda long... and it's called moonlight shadow but I'm thinking about changing it to moonless blood!!! it's about shape shifters/were wolves!!! and about a woman who gets caught up in between desire, love, loyalty, sadness, and a man who is running from himself... I hope you like it and I wrote it myself... well I'm tired and I have to take my mother to work and help her throughout the day so I must get my sleep or I'll never be able to wake up in-time, it's early in the morning... well good night and pleasent dreams...

NITE...
hoLLow eYeS
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Monday, December 18, 2006

my poem: better days come and go but the worst ones never fade
things must brighten up so that tomorrow may come and go as if it were never here, so that it may fade away even thought are memories can never join in there seperation of are terrible days, but even though those pains and sorrows never leave, we may always look for a better day that may swiftly come are way, so that are mourning pains will finally rest for a least, a single day...

an original poem by: hollow eyes

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   the 17th
Time: Midnight 12:40 or 50!!!
Mood:alright but could be better...
saying: why make others bring you down when you can bring them down first... lol... Jk!!! but seriously I worked at a fast food joint and man, ohh, man are people rude as Hell!!! they put you down and make you feel like utter stupidity or just plain shit!!! excuse my french!!! but really... do you really "they" have to take it that far!!! Dang!!!

well today/yesterday I pretty much helped my mom, made breakfast, felt like dirt for being tossed back and forth in doing things, and thought about my old store I put up here and was thinking about putting it up again and adding on to it!!! moonless blood!!! I think that's what it was called!!! I'm bad at these things and there my own, so what does that tell you!!! I'm a loser when It comes to my own work... ok, sometimes...
and for those few who haven't read my story I'm putting up the first two chapt's before I posted the next!!!
well then me and my sis talked and I saw her kick a** music video she made... (background music Korn, coming undone) good song!!! and it was a bunch of avatars and pic's she made move, come alive and... it was just awesome!!! and then I seen her anime clip she made, I mean MADE!!! in her type of class!!! it was pretty good, she drew most the pic's but the story line was her friends concept and idea!!! but over all, it was pretty go for a first time!!!
then I made dinner and here I am now!!! tomorrows a new day and I'm probably going to feel weird and abnormal in my living stature and quarters!!! since I've been living in Idaho for the pass 6month it just feels strange to be back is all I guess!!!

have a good night and take it easy!!! tomorrow will just have to be a better day!!! :)'s and hopes it actually wil be!!! NITE!!!!!!!!!ZZZzzz...
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Saturday, December 16, 2006

   I messed up my post so here's the 14th and 15th's
14th
I mainly helped put up are christmas tree and it's RE-E-AL, for the first time in forever it's finally a real christmas tree!!! the last year we had a real one was when I was a child, very young and ever since we've had charle brown "REAL" (plastic kinds) tree's!!! and just the smell of the real thing, I don't know it's so over whelming I think I'm... well alergic to it!!! I don;t know though or for sure!!!
andthen later on that night me and my little sis laughed and laughed about the most stupidest thing, it sounded like we were crying out in pain or something of how bad we were!!! I almost went pee... lol!!! XD
we both had killer headaches afterwards though!!! you see laughter does hurt when your laughing to hard!!! lol...

15th
well I mainly just took care of my mom and hughout around the house pretty much!!! then I went to go get some food-boxes w/ my sis and had to wait in a long a** car line... it sucked!!! then we came home I put away the food and such and helped my sis do the dishes and she bought anime books!!! helling 1 through 4 I believe and her friend will be buying her the rest!!! lucky S-O-B...
well I played Skies of arcadia "Legends" and beat the red moon boss, well didn't really beat him but survived and then beat Belleza, who in the game tricked us into being Bellena who lost her family in the war and such... that Bench!!! lol... well I beat her and it was just an on going battle for me, first I had to beat a lava boss then the gigas boss/survive long enough and then beat belleza all at once!!! thank goodness I bought all the healing stuff b/f I went there in the first place... *exhales deeply with full on weakness from everthing throughout the game I went through* man I'm tired now... lol... ok, maybe I'm not... :)'s
well I have no idea of the time and it's the 16th now!!! and I'm tired so good night and I'll probably continue on this post for the 16th or make another post for it...

sleep well and keep the monsters and your nightmares at bay!!! *swatts at nightmares w/ a fly swatter* *back, BACK... back you nightmares unless you want some* lol... I amaze myself at how weird and out of wacked I am at times!!! nite... ZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzz sleepy time...
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