Saturday, March 31, 2007

   A story hopefully on going... ^^
well my day is ok so far, except waking up earily and my eyes hurting, then me having to go out in the sunlight and blind my blurry (from sleeping) vison... I had to get my older sis and wake her up... it sucked but oh, well... ^^

well last night i had fun, I was really into writing a story and it's kinda inspired by sickofcrying... she doesn't know yet!!! ^^ I talked to driffter and shishou on my chat box and am writing them in my story...
so far it's me (Kaisuri) I made the name up... and other characters who are not in the story quite yet...
it's not a fan fic, I'm not very fond of them but there still cool and I like them but it's an original story made by me... here is the first chapter and I hope you enjoy!!! ^^ and if you want to be in it let me know and I'll find a perfect spot and character for you... an enemy, village person, or friend...

Surprized furry

*Kaboom*
Kaisuri ducks praying for god to protect her as sounds of battle approaches *gets up and yells* what the hell was that!!! [kaboom the door flies open and a fist hits Kaisuri in face] *yells* OUCH!!! Dammit, that fucking hurt!!!
I am Langmai, and I'm your enemy... [Kaisuri steps back and then walks away rubbing her face]

*swish swish*

[dangers from Langmai's belt fling out swishing through the moon lit night headed towards Kaisuri]
*swush* [Kaisuri pulls out her trusty sword and *clang clang* the daggers reflect off of Kaisuri's sword and plummet to the ground]
[Kaisuri chuckles] *yells* you missed me you harlot of a beast... do you actually believe a mere dagger and a fist in the face can bring me down!!! *laughs*
[anger washes over Langmai] *yells* that was a practice throw, you just wait and try to dodge the next ones...
*Kaisuri scoffs at her* Ha-ha, yeah right, your as slow as a newborn and as weak as an elderly!!!
*Langmai screams wildly* [Langmai rush towards Kaisuri with two warrior blades that are soaked with dried blood on them]
[Kaisuri looks at the dry blood on the blades] hmmm... Eh... NOOOooo!!! what kind of sick person are you!!! [points at Langmai] I could get HIV or AIDS from those!!! [points at her blades] every worthy and wise warrior knows to wipe and clean their blades after every battle!!! [Kaisuri turns her back on Langmai and falls to her knees]
sensei, to be ashamed is to feel pity, should I take pity upon my enemy, what should I do, should I fight thy enemy or pity them and walk away? [Kaisuri talks to-self while looks out into the sky as Langmai looks at her as if she's lost her damn mind]
ahem, I'm still here you know!!! *Langmai yells at Kaisuri*
ohhh, go away... *waves Langmai away as if she's a pest bothering her*
-WHAT- [Langmai blinks rapidly and is furthermore pissed off] that's it!!!
[Langmai rushes at Kaisuri and lifts her blade to strike her down with one swift blow at her back]


to be continue!!!

^^ Sorry but I must cut if off right there... I didn't want it to be to long for you... ^^ and it's a cliff hanger of a ending to the first half of the chapter!!! ^^ so you guys would want to know and come back eager for the second half!!! ^^ sorry guys, my sis convinced me to do it!!! she's a real pest, believe me... [chuckles]
how did you like it?
how's your day so far?
have a great day/night!!! L8ter...

qoute by hollow:In the mist of darkness there's always hope ready to guild and lead you out!!!

~*hollow*

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Friday, March 30, 2007

a breeze taken and thrown along with my heart...
hey guys!!! how do you like my bg and music?!? is it better then last? the music I mean? lol... ^^

so how are you? what's on your agenda today? I hope your having fun where ever you are and where you go?!? ^_^

things here are ok and alright!!! I'm a movie junky and that probably what I'm gonna be doing today, along with going outside and watering the grapes and trees... ^^
I love spraying the water up in the air and letting it fall all over me!!! I'm weird!!! ^^

well last night we left to take my aunt to the bus station around 10:06 and we almost go run off the road and... the ass hole was pressing the breaks on us and wouldn't let us pass!!! in my miind I saw it as an accident waiting to happen and if we DID, get into one I was contemplating to myself if I was or was not going to save him if he was stuck in his truck... I probably would have though...
DAMN, my big caring heart!!! ^^

we didn't get home till 12:30 something... then I read some of my book and then drifted off to sleep...

it was pretty much a good day for the most part!! ^^
the winds blowning and I feel like drifting off and going with it!!! just to see where it would lead and take me... somewhere I feel I belong I hope!!! ^^

1.) If a stranger guy/girl came up to you saying they loved you and that they are your true love, what would you do or say to them?

me) I would be flattered but I wouldn't believe it, cuz true love to me.. only exsists in fairy tales!!! and how could you love someone without knowing them... they could be some pyscho killer or something... and true love only happens in books and such... well at least that's what I believe... ^^

gotta go, have a thrilling day!!! ^^
~*hollow*
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Thursday, March 29, 2007

   The leap into the abyss, faith in an unreachable shadow...
all my life I though and actually believed I was alone and was ment to be that way... I REALLY excepted that too!!! as time went by and people I became fond of and loved faded away and disappeared... I felt nothing in this world would ever be woth living for and in... I know my lifes not as helpless as many and worse or bad in that manner or way but I feel, and can't shake the feelings I have...
but ever since I came here on myo i felt alone but then I met people, got attached and fond of them... and as usually they left and I remained behind... and I felt like crying b/c i grew so attached to them and hurt for them and there life I just couldn't save or help them... you, we all have are issues, pains, hurts, sorrows, and demons... but that doesn't mean we have to face them alone... it's taken me forever to except a hand in others but when and always when they reached for me I gave and I gave all of me to help them... b/c I wanted them to feel and live a life that's happy and less filled with pain and sorrow in them... and i tryed my best, but most of all I feel as if I could have done more but didn't...
i'm sorry and feel terrible for those who have no one and hate there life...
but what can I say, we all have to leap into darkness with a faith and hope that someone will be there to catch us... not the doubt and knowlegde of excepting no one will be!!! b/c there's always someone waiting, watching, and being patient for the moment you'll break down and be there for you... but you have to except there hand when they reach for you!!!
you have no idea how long I've been reaching inside and getting nothing... I wanted someone to be there for me so BADLY, but I never took that leap into the abyss and tryed fully...
I tryed once, and it failed completely and was horrible... but you can't give up... that wasn't the last and only chance you had!!! they'll be more and lots of other chances you just have to be ready for them... ^^
I'm so greatful and glad I have friends and buddies here, so when I'm feeling low and like shit I'd have someone, 1 person or lots to tell and they care!!! unlike were I'm at, where I life, and my life!!! no one cares... they say they do but they don't...
yeah, I have my pains and emotions... but who doesn't!!!
my point is, we all deal with it in are own ways and like me, I'm here if you need someone to talk to!!!
don't face it all alone!!! cuz you don't have too!!! and I know I have friends and loved ones here to talk too!!!

ok, ok... enough with the sad talk!!! ^^ I'm good, not sad!!! I just felt like telling you, yeah!!! I'm here for you!!! and I am!!! ^_^
today I was suppost to go to town, but things happened and people didn't show up for work so I didn't get to go...
well a week ago or so my sis helped me highlight my hair(which is brownish red) blond and she did a BAD, job!!! so I bough a purple highlighing kit, and last week I got a black hair dying kit so I'm thinking about dying my hair black, and putting purple highlighs in it!!! what do you think!!! I'm a latio and a rock aholic!!! my hairs in layers, and the lenth in about near my butt... so what do you think?!? bad or good choice and idea?!? ^_^

the weather is good here, thank goodness the rain came... or the weather would be hot and irratating!!! but I'm loving it... the wind, rain and all!!! ^^

1.) how are you today...

me) happy since one of my favorite shows come one tonight!!! supernatural!!! last weeks episode made me cry it was so sad... a girl was bit by a were-wolf and didn't know, and that during the full moon cycles she was turning into one and killing people... she fell-in-love with sam *he's cute but deans hotter* and in the end they tryed to save her by killing the wolf who bit her but they didn't and so she wanted sam to kill her, he was crying, it was so sad... but he set her free and shot her with a silver bullet... *tear rolls down cheek ever so softly with pain filled emotions* it was a really good episode though and the first one to ever make me cry!!!
but I think tonight might actually be a re-run... *lowers head is sad* ^^ lol...

here is a great youtube video of FMA, song is whispers in the dark by skillet, by SkeltonKid!!! I love it!!!



this post is proabaly to long and I'm sorry to burden you with reading it but have a great night and have a good day tomorrow!!! ^^

~*hollow*
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Wednesday, March 28, 2007

   Thanks... ^^ I love you guys!!! ^^
My days has been going good!!! thanks to you guys!!! ^^ all your kind words and care!!! *hugs you tightly while smiling*
I'm trying to put up my art but haven't yet!!! *ducks from your sad looks of disappointment* I'm trying to scan them and so on... it's coming along slowly but it's coming!!! ^^

how are you all today, on this fine wednesday?!?
anything new happen?

1) what do you see when you look out side right now?!? see with your heart, not with your sees?!? what do you feel when you see your surroundings?

me) I see the sunshining and I can almost feel the warmth of it hitting the trees and waking me up inside, I feel the wind swaying me back and forth as it does to the limbs of the tree and I feel warm and happy... a feel and see a place outside that wants and calls to me to go and experance it along with it!!! so I'm stepping out and leaving you guys with only this... lifes to short, but why make the complications of it ruin life for you?!? I'm trying not to!!! so I'm going outside and experancing it!!!

bye guys, *waves happily and with care and love towards you*

~*hollow*
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Tuesday, March 27, 2007

for the ones I've hurt and the ones who I haven't...
Shishou, Night Phoenix, Necury, and all others... with my post!!! I'm truly sorry!!! *sad but forthcoming look on face as if ready to take on the harshness of your words of rejection of friendship* I know you all care about me, is just I haven't any clue on to why? and sometimes I want you all to hate me... it seems like I've always wanted mostly everyone i meet to hate me, my FAMILY!!! it's like I'm scared that I'd get to close to you guys and so I find ways to push you away or just, my family makes me feel like utter and total shit and I randomly post stuff and you guys take it to a whole other level of thinking it's about you!!! it never is, I grew up with hate and violence in my family... [scoffs] i grew up watching MY, father beat my mother and siblings along with me!!! but as I grew older and my father pushed my family apart and away from me(they move out at young ages) I tryed to save my mother and younger sister from him but never could and beat myself up for it everytime and just want them to hate me for it!!! like I do myself!!! i have so many issues it's unreal... i'm just a sane, well most of the times person just trying to live life or just SURVIVE it... but it seems throughtout the day, time, months, year and so on... it's getting harder and more hateful and hollow... i'm growing hollow inside and want so much of the pain I've been through to go away but it just wont!!! it never will and I jusst don't know how to deal with that!!! I don't know if I'll ever know how... maybe i'm just meant to be some kind of psycho killer or suicidle reject who can't even get that right... I just don't know anymore... and that's what pisses me off... and my lifes not even as messed up as others are!!! and I hate it how i just can't live on and be strong!!! I envy you who do, have tragities befall upon you and pick up and move on!!! your my idol's, my hope of knowing there's still hope and everything pure and good out there that can pick up their piece's of that life and move forward... i try and try but everytime I get so far I lose and fall strait back down... like the the spider in that song, the itsy bitsy spider crawling up the spout but the rain just washes him right back down... i feel like him!!! like i'm never going to get up there... but I keep trying and hopeing that I will!!! i'm SO sorry if I offened any of you or hurt your feelings, it wasn't done on purpose!!! i swear!!! *serious and sad look on face* it's just I'm going through so much and I tryed to make scence out of my feelings and it came out a BIG MESS!!! sorry!!!

I hope your day is going good!!! ^^ how was is? mine, it's ok... I'm trying to scan my art on my computer and up it up for a eager friend of mine to see it!!! ^^ *wink, nudges, and points at her*
I bought some art supplies yesterday and can't wait to use them... I'm going to try to put some art on tomorrow but if I can't I'll try my hardest for the next day!!! *pinky swears it*
well guys this is were I leave you... THANK you Shishou, Necury, Night Phoenix, insesskomilover, kiki-tink, midnightstreaks, Heavy Metal, Vampire Kiss, sessy, emmah, Driffter, and xDeathIsMyLifex for your comments on my posts and your friendship!!! no doubt i'd be gone if it wasn't for you!!! ^^and a special thanks to shishou and insesskomilover for putting up with me throughout the years... I love you guys!!! I can't imagine how you guys did!!! lol... but thanks!!! you guys kept me from making LOTS of bad choices in my life, all b/c you guys cared enough to be my friends and care about me!!! *hugs* thanks Necury and Night Phoenix for caring and being great friends too!!! ^^ *hugs*
thanks you all for caring enough to comment and just wonder how my day was!!! love you guys!!! *hugs all*

thanks and sorry again!!! nite and have a great day tomorrow!!! L8ter... I'll try to comment on your guys posts tomorrow, I'm kinda introble and have thinks i have to do... *shiver and is worried what tomorrow will bring* L8ter guys...

~*hollow*
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Monday, March 26, 2007

   *exhales* why does life have to be so... so...
I can't even understand why people would want to be my friend!!! on here or out there... i have nothing to offer them ofr you guys!!! I'm just a loser trying to go through life and failing at everything as usually!!! I can't escape that and not to mention the violence that comes and follows me!!!
Yes I have a big heart and befriend people easily, and care about them and wonder how their doing and such... I don't deserve you guys, I never did!!! I don't even know why I'm still coming on here!!! no one really cares what happens about me and what's going on, most, MOST!!! people only care that they got a certain number of comments on their site... me, I don't really care but even if the ones I befriended don't comment on my site I still comment on theirs!!! my stupid heart... I care about you guys and wonder what's going on so no matter what I try to at least see what's going on!!! me, *exhales* I a waste of place on myo and I'm not really helping any of you... you'd go through your life with or without peoples comment on here... what makes you, me, or anyone else special?!? maybe it's because all we want is someone to care about us, show compassion, love, addvice, tell us everythings going to be alright... but the truth is, nothings going to be alright!!! we all fall, and we have to pick are selves back up!!! [scoffs at self] I haven't even learded to do that yet, well physucally yes but not emotionally and mentally!!! but whay I'm trying to say is, life goes on, all we can really do is hope of the best, make a friend and take it on together, have a loved one beside you, or face it alone like many others do... but we come on here so we don't and hope others have compassion and help eachother by... a "freeloader" I would call them... we I'm a loner and on occassions I've been a freeloader who'd lean on someone for help, but that was ages ago... and all you do by that is burden and upset them, who have gotten and became very good or close one to you...

I'm sorry for this post I'm just feeling down and hating myself for things I CAN'T change... only if we could, everything would some how get or be better... but probably it'll get even more screwed up and we'd probably have killed are selves sooner, but yeah!!! well sorry for my bitching and so on... I hopw you all are feeling good and ready for monday morning "hate day" as I would call it and be "happy" for whatevers on your agenda for life!!! how was your guys weekend?

have a great day and take care!!! ^^

Hollow
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Saturday, March 24, 2007

   Tired and fingers hurt, ouch....
well I got some supplies for banners, signatures, and avi's!!! I was thinking about making my own but I haven't gotten that far yet!!! ^^ *exhales* *wishes myself good luck* *lite chuckle*
we my sis-in-law didn't have the baby, they sent her home... I haven't even got the faintest clue on to WHY, but they sent her home... *strange and annoyed look on face*
well I hung out at the house, I drew some bad, cool, awesome pic's!!! and then my sis got to watch eragon... she's pissed at me b/c I let my bro borrow fearless and she hasn't watched it yet... she throw some shoes at me... *long exhale* it's my movie anyways... ok enough rambling on, it's more like b*tch*ng but we'll keep that bit to areselves... lol!!! ^^
well I'm tired and it's 1:41 in the morning, so I hope you like the changes I've done to my site and have a great night/day tomorrow!!! ^^
not to mention a killer weekend!!! ^^

hang loose and cya around!!!
L8terz,

~*hollow*
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Thursday, March 22, 2007

   Frustration, rain, clean, tired, BABY!?!
My day was awesome yet tirering!!! well yesterdat my sis-in-law got the same bug i did and she went to the hospital b/c she and her baby could get dehidrated and if that happened she could go into an early labor... she's due in may!!! so that's kinda bad!!! she stayed over night... so I took care of my little nephew JJ...
in the morning it rained, was windy and it kicked ass!!! I love the rain and wind!!! not to mention thunder, which it did too!!! ^^
all day long it was like that!!! it was awesome!!! ^^
my sis-in-law came over around 10 and stayed for awhile and then left. then I cleaned the house, was in the rain listening to avenge sevenfold's cd with seize the day on it and bat country!!! *head bangs to music*
well I got soaked b/c I had to do laundry and the machines were outside and I had to put the dogs in the other house so they wouldn't get wet. but it was fun!!! ^^
we long the way my little sis came home gave me shit, left and then my mother called saying my sis-in-law's water broke... Fuck!!!
and not to mention she's all alone with JJ!!! so my mother rushes to pick her up, drops JJ off with me and goes to the hospital where my brothers waiting... so right now I'm wondering what's up and how she's doing and if she just pissed all over herself and didn't really break her water!!! I hope she didn't but I can't wait to see my new neice... and it's my brothers first baby girl!!! Aww!!! ^^ hehehe... I hope she gives him one hell of a time since he gave me a hell of a time growing up!!! well until he left. but I got him back when I was 7 and I shot him with the bebby gun!!! hahaha... he was so pissed off it was funny!!! but we did crazy shit like that all the time so it's cool!!!

well guys thanks for reading my post and I hope I didn't cuss to much for you!!! it's just I'm stressed out and worried and well I thought I'd give it more of a dramtic effect if I cussed... sorry if I overwhelmed you... L8ter and have a great night!!!

Quote by hollow: we're only young once, so why not live it having fun instead of being an adult and responcable now then later!!!

~*hollow* live it up, and hang loose!!!
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Tuesday, March 20, 2007

   A fearless Journey...
Last night I watched an awesome movie!!! ^^
Fearless staring Jet Li and believe it or not, it's his very last movie he'll ever play in... *frowns sadly*
I loved him in Hero and unleashed as well!!! but he had done LOTs of movies and he's only 42... this movie explained through the struggles of one man, the meaning of martial arts... and the movie was inspired by the story of a real-life hero!!!
it's really good!!!

in 1981 he was approached to star in the film THE SHAOLIN TEMPLE then the
comedy sequel KIDS FROM SHAOLIN then
MARTIAL ARTS OF SHAOLIN was the final part of the trilogy,
BORN TO DEFEND where Jet had sustained a bad back injury while performing his own stunts,
Lo Wei's DRAGON FIGHT,
WONG FEI HUNG '92, ONCE UPON A TIME IN CHINA,
SWORDSMAN 2: INVINCIBLE DAWN,
FONG SAI YUK, sequel FONG SAI YUK 2,
LAST HERO IN CHINA, TAI CHI MASTER,
KUNG FU CULT MASTER,
FIST OF LEGEND, a good version of the Bruce Lee classic FIST OF FURY,
BODYGUARD FROM BEIJUNG, MY FATHER IS A HERO, HIGH RISK, DR WAI IN 'THE SCRIPTURES WITH NO
WORDS', manga-styled fantasy BLACK MASK and ONCE
UPON A TIME IN CHINA AND AMERICA,
Jet Lee made his first public UK appearance in October of 1996 After starring in the slick HITMAN, Jet followed in the footsteps of Jackie Chan,
Chow Yun Fat and John Woo in breaking into the American market, where he played LETHAL WEAPON 4, ROMEO MUST DIE, KISS OF THE DARGON, THE ONE, Cradle 2 The Grave, hero, unleashed and now Fearless!!! his final and last martial arts epic!!!

Sorry I just couldn't resist, not letting you all know Let Li and the movies he's played in/ acted in!!! and in a sence, Jet Li was also discribing himself in Fearless... you'd have to watch, a fearless journey, (the bonus features) where jet Li explains the making of the martial arts epic!!! it's really good!!!

well guys, have a great day/night!!! and Kung Fu movies ROCK!!!! I love them!!! L8ter...

~*hollow*


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Monday, March 19, 2007

hope, can it rise out of a dark hole?
Most people think hope doesn't exsist and for those's few in life who do, their just wasting there time and effort for a dream that'll never come true... I believe in what you most people think... but can you really blame me, I've lived through a lot and seen a lot all the same but hope, it's as distant and never going to happen as it is snowing in arizona in the summer where i live... and it's not in flagstaff... but even though a part of me has no hope, there's still the other have that dreams, and dreaming of hope and etc is one of them!!! ^^ so there's still hope of me yet!!! ^^
anyways I have written a poem on the 17th late into the night and I'd like to share it with you!!! plz don't be to harsh on me... I'm finally getting back into posting them!!! so bear with me if there not good, I haven't written poems in a while!!! ^^

Hope rises out of a dark black prison.

Empty, hollow, alone within myself,
anger, frustration aimed at all who tryed to help,
they wasted their time and I pushed them away,
it's over now but why am I at a sorrowful end,
I should be happy, I got rid of their pity looks and eargerly happy smiles,
but look at me, I miss them and don't have the damnest clue why,
they stuck on me like glue to paper,
but all I have left of them are pathways to follow and no one there, but all those pathways show no hope for me,
but the look in there eyes that they could help a patietic fool like me, replayed in my mind and my memory,
along with the love and carry they gave to me,
why can't I shake it, this feeling I have, I want it all, this feeling of something new, the feeling of love I just never knew,
so I remembered a phase a great friend once told me,
that we are only what we feel and choose to be, nothing more so what will it be,
and with that in mind I looked on the brighter side for once,
and began to finally walk on my pathway,
out of my haunting past and into reality,
into the world where I should have always been seen in, not running and hidding away to be hidden...
all it took was a friend, who not matter what,
just wouldn't give in, to all my stubborn ways and hidden hate,
who finally showed me the way out of my prison
and finally live,
I so thought I couldn't breath and live without being held within,
but I was a fool,
until I started to finally live!!!

nite...

~*hollow*
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