Thursday, March 29, 2007

   The leap into the abyss, faith in an unreachable shadow...
all my life I though and actually believed I was alone and was ment to be that way... I REALLY excepted that too!!! as time went by and people I became fond of and loved faded away and disappeared... I felt nothing in this world would ever be woth living for and in... I know my lifes not as helpless as many and worse or bad in that manner or way but I feel, and can't shake the feelings I have...
but ever since I came here on myo i felt alone but then I met people, got attached and fond of them... and as usually they left and I remained behind... and I felt like crying b/c i grew so attached to them and hurt for them and there life I just couldn't save or help them... you, we all have are issues, pains, hurts, sorrows, and demons... but that doesn't mean we have to face them alone... it's taken me forever to except a hand in others but when and always when they reached for me I gave and I gave all of me to help them... b/c I wanted them to feel and live a life that's happy and less filled with pain and sorrow in them... and i tryed my best, but most of all I feel as if I could have done more but didn't...
i'm sorry and feel terrible for those who have no one and hate there life...
but what can I say, we all have to leap into darkness with a faith and hope that someone will be there to catch us... not the doubt and knowlegde of excepting no one will be!!! b/c there's always someone waiting, watching, and being patient for the moment you'll break down and be there for you... but you have to except there hand when they reach for you!!!
you have no idea how long I've been reaching inside and getting nothing... I wanted someone to be there for me so BADLY, but I never took that leap into the abyss and tryed fully...
I tryed once, and it failed completely and was horrible... but you can't give up... that wasn't the last and only chance you had!!! they'll be more and lots of other chances you just have to be ready for them... ^^
I'm so greatful and glad I have friends and buddies here, so when I'm feeling low and like shit I'd have someone, 1 person or lots to tell and they care!!! unlike were I'm at, where I life, and my life!!! no one cares... they say they do but they don't...
yeah, I have my pains and emotions... but who doesn't!!!
my point is, we all deal with it in are own ways and like me, I'm here if you need someone to talk to!!!
don't face it all alone!!! cuz you don't have too!!! and I know I have friends and loved ones here to talk too!!!

ok, ok... enough with the sad talk!!! ^^ I'm good, not sad!!! I just felt like telling you, yeah!!! I'm here for you!!! and I am!!! ^_^
today I was suppost to go to town, but things happened and people didn't show up for work so I didn't get to go...
well a week ago or so my sis helped me highlight my hair(which is brownish red) blond and she did a BAD, job!!! so I bough a purple highlighing kit, and last week I got a black hair dying kit so I'm thinking about dying my hair black, and putting purple highlighs in it!!! what do you think!!! I'm a latio and a rock aholic!!! my hairs in layers, and the lenth in about near my butt... so what do you think?!? bad or good choice and idea?!? ^_^

the weather is good here, thank goodness the rain came... or the weather would be hot and irratating!!! but I'm loving it... the wind, rain and all!!! ^^

1.) how are you today...

me) happy since one of my favorite shows come one tonight!!! supernatural!!! last weeks episode made me cry it was so sad... a girl was bit by a were-wolf and didn't know, and that during the full moon cycles she was turning into one and killing people... she fell-in-love with sam *he's cute but deans hotter* and in the end they tryed to save her by killing the wolf who bit her but they didn't and so she wanted sam to kill her, he was crying, it was so sad... but he set her free and shot her with a silver bullet... *tear rolls down cheek ever so softly with pain filled emotions* it was a really good episode though and the first one to ever make me cry!!!
but I think tonight might actually be a re-run... *lowers head is sad* ^^ lol...

here is a great youtube video of FMA, song is whispers in the dark by skillet, by SkeltonKid!!! I love it!!!



this post is proabaly to long and I'm sorry to burden you with reading it but have a great night and have a good day tomorrow!!! ^^

~*hollow*
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