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Birthday
• 1986-09-14
Gender
•
Female
Location
• in myself in which no one there ever hurts me
Member Since
• 2006-05-26
Occupation
•
Real Name
• Jasie
Personal
Achievements
• Surviving one day at a time.
Anime Fan Since
• The first time I ever seen one of Hayao Miyazaki's movies and other Studio Ghibli ones I fell inlove!!! I just started watching anime, movies and reading manga ever since then...
Favorite Anime
• NARUTO!!! ^^ Trinity Blood, Bleach, Gunslinger Girl, Elfen Lied, FMA, Howl's moving castle, witch hunter robin, Inuyasha, samurai 7, samurai champloo, Rurouni Kenshin, spirited away, vampire hunter D, princess Mononoke, blood: the last vampire, and many
Goals
• To Never change into something or someone I REALLY am not, to just be my self.
Hobbies
• hanging out by myself, chatting, writing stories, poems, and on occassions I read in my dark room with only a single lamp shining through it's darkness.
Talents
• playing several instruments, making people laugh, and hiding my true feeling from everyone around me with my "so called" MASK.
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Sunday, May 20, 2007
hAtE... hOw I LovE tHEE
SITE-UNDER-CONSTRUCTION
Can't you just feel it, the hate circling around you and breathing it in and into you.
I feel it, and breath it and have done something about it.
I cut myself today and I enjoyed it, 3 times I sliced in to my skin at my wrist and then deeply into my thumb, just to see how sharp the stake knife really was. lol
my sister hates me and showed/reminded me of it and how I can feel so numb and dark that I feel at home again to it and with it, the consuming hate and uglyness of it all.
when I was cutting myself my other wrist ached and felt like it to way being cut at the same time and as if it begged to be cut as well!!! strange yet I scraped my bottom teeth on it to relax and stop the feeling. I know I must be freaking or at least scaring you just but don't. just don't be!!! things happen right, and are emotions can't be forsaken most of the time like I hve don't to it. so now it's plaged and got back at me for it. I didn't cut myself deep just nipping it and breaking skin a little.
A POeM, made today by me:
The pain of everything is clouded by hate, as the blade to an uncertain object slices you, you feel no pain, as you grow numb and feel high you enjoy the blade, and as you grow fond of it, you have scars bearing your skin and blood flowing in vain, as you watch blood run down your raw silky flesh you begin to fade, but you take the wound in your mouth and suck and lick instead, as you feel the warm red metalic liquid roll down your throat, you bask in this new feeling and wickly stare and smile at those who made you like this. and at that moment you see yourself looking back at you through a mirror, and what you see is what you've become with only hate, pain, and tears, all combined in one. you only wanted something to stop it all, but you had no one, so you found a knife, but couldn't cut and slice your way out. all you have now is scars and more hate, pain and tears, and STILL no way out and way from it all.
ANOTHER POEM:
within darkness
lies the hatred of
life, and within light,
brings the morning of
sorrow and tears of yet
another day with out him,
but I hide all that within
myself and act as if everythings
ok and I dress in pain, and
yet I will never admit my
pain, to anyone except
him, who has left me
in this dark hollow place.
I feel nothing right now and have nothing to feel. ironic isn't it, how you can feel so much for someone and then have it come crashing down to feeling nothing at all. well maybe, except for hate, pain and the tears that fall down you face, and then nothing at all...
I've always had this side of me inside somewhere hiding and now it wants to be, just BE free and live again! and I want it to, so badly, hoping it'll ease everything I feel away. hoping it'll make me live again. Kat I'm sorry and Kai I guess I've joined the club!!! lol
sorry guys, I've let you down.
I'm ok guys I just needed to vent. lol ^^ really don't worry about me I'm fine!!! ^^ really. how are you?
~*Hollow eyes*~
Comments
(2)
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