Saturday, June 23, 2007

*laughs* life... think about it
broken illusions made me this, thank you! really, thanks! *hugs you*


Time:10:03pm

Mood: life drama, I hate it and just want to be alone, yet no one leaves me alone. I htink it's b/c they know I'll kill myself or that I'll hurt myslef. I'm so fucking stupid and i'm all pity me, feel sorry for me and all that bull shit, but really I'm not like that, I only seem and look like it. but you'l never know the real me, cuz I bury myself deep within myself where no one can get to me.

I've been tagged by Kalli so here are 5 things about myself.

1.) I live more on to myself and in a shadowly dark space of my room only wanting to be alone and yet feeling like I don't. but I never get to be alone, everyone in my family is bothering me with stuff that seems not that important to me anymore and other times all I ever want is them to bother me yet they never do. kora's right, I am a drama queen and it's fucking funny!

2.) I live with my mother yet again and I'm 20 almost fucking 21 and I'm fucking pathetic, I did live with my sister in Idaho but when my mom got sick I can down to help her and I'm still here. in the way as always!

3.) I have dreams for myself but I'm to much of a damn pussy to grab hold of any of them and make a move and live them. try to at least walk in the pathways of them. I'm not even worthy of living and life.

4.) I have 5 sisters and 1 brother and I'm the one who always just goes off and finds an empty place to be. lol even on my brithday last year I left and just went out side to be by myself and yet I never could be. I'm always trying to find sancutuary but never find any.

5.) I let myself be used by everyone of my family members just so I could spend time with most of them. but more on the lines I have and now I just wanna go off into the world and be alone. b/c I am alone pretty much where I am but tortured by words of violence so where more would I want to be?

Kalli, I'm posting your questions as well ^^

MOUTHOLOGY

Q. What is your salad dressing of choice?
A. Italin or ranch

Q. What is your favorite fast food restaurant?
A. Ramaro’s a Mexican restaurant

Q. What is your favorite sit-down restaurant?
A. don’t have one, probably never will

Q. On average, what size tip do you leave at a restaurant?
A. don’t go to any

Q. What food could you eat every day for two weeks and not get sick of?
A. lol Ramen too, I don’t really know, foods food. But I’d say most of it’s bad for you anyways so who really cares anyways. DARREL (Celestial Chi) lmao!!! XD that’s wrong kalli lol

Q. What are your pizza toppings of choice?
A. pepperoni and onions it’s better cold the next day anyways but that’s my fave pretty much

Q. What do you like to put on your toast?
A. butter and sometimes jam

TECHNOLOGY

Q. What is your wallpaper on your computer?
A. Elfen lied it says: if I can’t stop killing people, I want you to kill me! I feel the same way.

Q. How many televisions are in your house?
A. we have 3 but only 2 are connect to the regular stations and the other one is for are games.

BIOLOGY

Q. Are you right-handed or left-handed?
A. Right! I could be left to but I’m right

Q. Have you ever had anything removed from your body?
A. teeth of course, who hasn’t and something else but that’s something I’ll be keeping to myself!

Q. When was the last time you had a cavity?
A. I don’t know

Q. What is the last heavy item you lifted?
A. 2 or 3 weeks ago a big 100 pound sack of dog food, chicken and then a frigging big 150 sack of onions, what can I say, I was raised up as a boy and I do heavy lifting. lol *sighs*

Q. Have you ever been knocked unconscious?
A. I think so, when I got stitckes ^^

BULLCRAPOLOGY

Q. If it were possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die?
A. lol the funny thing is I just watched final destatnation 3 today and they know when they die lol but I’d have to say yeah, so I could do everything I wanted before I die.

Q. If you could change your name, what would you change it to?
A. Jean

Q. What color do you think looks best on you?
A. Purple

Q. Have you ever swallowed a non-food item by mistake?
A. yeah

Q. Have you ever saved someone’s life?
A: yeah, my niece was drowning and no one even saw that she was and I swam out to her and saved her.

Q. Has someone ever saved yours?
A. no, not really but probably.

DAREOLOGY

Q. Would you kiss a member of the same sex for $100?
A. yeah

Q. Would you allow one of your little fingers to be cut off for $200,000
A. lol the other day I ask my brother to cut off one of my fingers. And he was so psyched and he really wanted to and even said he’d pay to do it! lol

Q. Would you never blog again for $50,000?
A. yeah, I’m feeling less like I belong here anyways so I’d do it. I’d leave off myo and even the internet for that much. I need to get on with my life anyways

Q. Would you pose naked in a magazine for $250,000?
A. Hell no, I wouldn’t want people to be making fun of me and my ugly ass body for the rest of my life.

Q. Would you drink an entire bottle of hot sauce for $1000?
A. sure

Q. Would you, without fear of punishment, take a humans life for $1,000,000?
A. no.

DUMBOLOGY

Q: What is in your left pocket?
A. I'm wearing PJ's, and I have pockets but nothings in them.

Q: Is Napoleon Dynamite actually a good movie?
A. Never saw it

Q: Do you have hardwood or carpet in your house?
A. Both at my brothers, and carpet and cement at my mom’s

Q: Do you sit or stand in the shower?
A. Stand...

Q: How many pairs of flip flops do you own?
A. I had 3 once but I have only 1 now

Q: Last time you had a run-in with the cops?
A. 5 days ago lol

Q: What do you want to be when you grow up?
A: a journalist, an author, artist, Just something, go and be something then what I am now.

Q: Who is number 1 on your top 8
A: Top 8 what? Don’t have one.

LASTOLOGY

Q: Friend you talked to?
A: none

Q: Last person who called u?
A: my mother and she’s going to a funeral

Q: Person you hugged?
A: no one

Q: Person you kissed?
A: no one

FAVORITOLOGY

Q: Number?
A: 7

Q: Season?
A: Fall in Idaho and are monsoon seasons here in Az b/c it rains

CURRENTOLOGY

Q: Missing someone?
A: all the time

Q: Mood?
A: lonely and hating life and wanting nothing more for life to just change and take me with it.

Q: Listening to?
A: nothing

Q: Watching?
A. the blue screen of my computer

Q: Worrying about?
A: my mom

RANDOMOLOGY

Q: First place you went this morning?
A: right back to sleep

Q: What can you not wait to do?
A: (your mom) lol Kalli that’s wrong! But draw and see and find something new and a reason for living life.

Q: What’s the last movie you saw?
A: waiting lol and it was so wrong yet funny

Q: Do you smile often?
A: no, not really


how is your day/night going?

~lifes not meant for everyone, but is given~

Bye,

~*hollow*
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