Thursday, October 25, 2007

   Thor... God of thunder... but my friend and loving dog! T.T





Time:10:36am
Mood: Horrible and crying both seen and unseen tears
Listening to: nothing at the moment, but I'm probably going to listen to sad shit as usually or my skillet, BFMV, 3 days grace, something...
Quote: I never do anything right... yet maybe that's why things end up the way they do with me... shitty! ~personal quote of mine



Why does shit always happen and fall upon the ones who don't deserve it... but that's the rules of life, shit always happens to the ones that are weak and don't and never do anything wrong!

I hate life and all it has to offer, b/c no matter how great it is... they always take the best things in life away from you... in compensation!

My childhood dog Buster, I had for... God ages I told you about died... I barely cried for him... and now... Thor my brother's dog who I've taken care of, played with and just... fallen in love with... *exhales sadly* Thor! *screams his name* my thor... well he's sorta mine in a sense that I've taken care of him more then his real owners but yeah... *cries* I hate life, and it always taking the best things from me!
I love his olive green eyes, white beautiful coat and everything attached to him. It seems like everything I've ever come to love, leaves me and or dies!
I NEED A HUG!

well... about a week ago he got off his chain and came back limping and hurt, we don't and can't afford to take him to the clinic to get checked up and... well we hoped and just thought he'd be ok and be walking on in it no time. Ironic how things with me never turn out on the great side of life but shitty!
well I slept in today and my sister-in-law was confronted by are bitch of a neighbor threating to call the cops and so on b/c of are dog, saying it's animal cruelty and such and saying "Oh I know this place that will check on his for free..." she tells my sister-in-law and then... "But those and this isn't my concern so I'll just call the cops." My sis-in-law wanted the info but she wouldn't give it, and are neighbor's just... a bitch and I have the weirdest feeling she's the one who hurt my dog!
So my sis-in-law wakes me up crying, and just... telling me to help her. SO she tells me what's up in a mix match of a way and I don't believe her what so ever when she says she's going to have him... well... shot/put out of his misery. So we get Thor and when she mentions taking him to my mom's I'm feeling better and less on edge about what she said.
And then she tells me... "We're gonna leave him here, so when Jaime (my brother) get's home from work, he'll put him down." I broke down... I mean come on, I was only playing, rubbing and hanging out with him 3 days ago outside in the night having a great time with him and... being out side will never be the same anymore... not to mention we had another dog here, Gage... my dog! he ran away or someone took him, and now this! NOoo, I tried to tell her maybe we don't have to, I mean... for one in my life I feel like I finally have a dog and ever time I'm out there he comes to me, jumping and playing and just loving me rub him and... evertime I leave to go back inside, *laughs a bit* he give me this look, like... come on, don't go yet, a pouting look. GOD... I lost everything!
I don't know if I'd ever want another pet ever again after this, I love that damn dog... and now... I feel like I'm 8 again, my sister's dog had puppies and I was allowed to pick one andkepp one fro my own... and I picked this odd ball little guy, and that very night he got bit by a snake and was dying... my borhter had to shot him, and I can still hear the gun shot going off and... I hate life! it takes and takes! I don't want it taking from me anymore! the great memories in life are cruel and EVIL when everything from, created or cherished in them are gone!!!
I ended up tying him up to are child hood swingset and just petting, hugging, and rubbing him with tears falling constantly from my eyes... saying why, how it just won't be the same without him, how much I'm gonna miss him and how I probably won't go outside on the back porch again more cuz I'd probably cry b/c he won't be there to greet me, jump on me and just... BE THERE! I stayed there for about a half hour with him and I took pic's... I... I just hate how life... I hate it!

well as you can tell I'm feel shitty and crying at the same time... I don't know if I can ever want or get another pet in my life, I always lost them just when I love them the most!

I hope you all are ok and things are good.
I would put a pic of him up here... but my computer is slow and it probably won't come up.
I'll put one up sometime this week or next... bye guys!

hollow
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