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Birthday
• 1986-09-14
Gender
•
Female
Location
• in myself in which no one there ever hurts me
Member Since
• 2006-05-26
Occupation
•
Real Name
• Jasie
Personal
Achievements
• Surviving one day at a time.
Anime Fan Since
• The first time I ever seen one of Hayao Miyazaki's movies and other Studio Ghibli ones I fell inlove!!! I just started watching anime, movies and reading manga ever since then...
Favorite Anime
• NARUTO!!! ^^ Trinity Blood, Bleach, Gunslinger Girl, Elfen Lied, FMA, Howl's moving castle, witch hunter robin, Inuyasha, samurai 7, samurai champloo, Rurouni Kenshin, spirited away, vampire hunter D, princess Mononoke, blood: the last vampire, and many
Goals
• To Never change into something or someone I REALLY am not, to just be my self.
Hobbies
• hanging out by myself, chatting, writing stories, poems, and on occassions I read in my dark room with only a single lamp shining through it's darkness.
Talents
• playing several instruments, making people laugh, and hiding my true feeling from everyone around me with my "so called" MASK.
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Friday, June 9, 2006
I Feel pain! why doesn't if just fade away, but stay!!!
ppl say caring for others well being and not for yours is well being a hypocrite, BUT does it!!! I care Soooo much for others and when it comes to me I feel, I feel pain and sometimes wake up with night-terrors but WHY, am I a hypocrite if I care about others then for myself?!?
I would give my life in order to save another from the pain and feelings I'm tortured with most of the day, I would sacrifice myself to save them in any way I could!!! I REALLY WOULD!!! I even cry for others and the pains they go through, b/c NO ONE ELSE WILL!!! and along the way I've sarcificed, helped, did all I could and I was hurting in the end!!! b/c most, I mean all of them left!!! and left me in the darkness and shadows of my hell whole to suffer and wait alone once again!!! and you know what!!! I would still do it again, even though it hurt me so much!!! b/c I helped them, even though it might have been a little, and the hurt me in the process, but I for the time we were together set their pain away and set them free!!! they were happy and even though they crushed me farther down in my black hole!!! I know I at least saved one soul from the dark side of fear!!! and my fear is growing, my nightmares are distroying me, and my heart is fading but I hope I still have a feeling of care, hope, of something when my heart reachies it's frozen point and closes me off from the world and I'm left alone!!! I only hope I have enough fight and spirit left to fight my demons like I help fight others of theirs!!!
even now as i'm writing this my heart aches and hurts!!! it feels like someones grabbed hold of my heart and is toying with it, making me and it break and make me remember the past and it's memories of pain and tears!!! they growing and I'm fadeing away, maybe one day I'll just disappear and no one will even care or know where to find the missing peices of my soul and put them back togthers along with my aching heart!!!
I gotta go, I'm on the brink on sheding tears or even crying at the momment!!! I hate doing that to, crying b/c it shows my weakness and others have uesed that against me and totally crushed me and put me into a pitch black box falling into the abyss of the sea!!! the sea is my heart and I believe it's getting black, cold, and frozen!!! even though I live in arizona (the hotties state that's like 112 today) i feel like i'm freezing cold lone and wishing for this nightmare to end!!!
and I hope deceiver's, does too!!! and all the other lost souls of depression survive they rain of sorrow and pain!
*HUGS* TOTAL!
give Holloweyes more *HUGS*
Get hugs of your own
Thanks Insesskomilover, for pic for hugs!!!
L8ter... and sorry if it's so long for some!!!
Comments
(3)
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