Sunday, June 12, 2005

   Got mixed emotions again....
I feel so... @.@ I wish it was summer... than the reports... *twiches* would all stop! I DON'T care about Joan of Arc! well, I don't think I do... luckily, THAT report is almost done. then I have to take them to school. This will be like the first time I go to school on a WEEKEND. Luckily, just 4 1/2 more days of school... (well, 3 1/2 if you don't count Boardwalk day as a school day. and the half part because Friday's a minimum day)
I also feel kinda sad... no wonder I'm not on AIM o.o;;
Well, maybe it's theose darn quizzes. they reveal my inner pain I hide so no one worries(then how come it always slips out at lunch? o.o;; Blame it on P.E. and homeroom!)
I don't want my friends to worry, so I try not to be sad(but it ALWAYS slips out at lunch when people talk and leave me out(I didn't just say that o.o;;))
But I bought this song a while ago that so is meeee. (I'm sad to say) but it fits me perfectly. It's Welcome to My Life by Simple Plan. Here are the lyrics:

Do you ever feel like breaking down?
Do you ever feel out of place?
Like somehow you just dont belong
And no one understands you
Do you ever wanna run away?
Do you lock yourself in your room with the radio on turned up so loud no one hears you screamin
No you don't know what's it's like
When nothing feels alright
You don't know what it's like
To be like me

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the egde of breaking down
When no ones there to save you
Well you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life

Do you wanna be somebody else?
Are you sick of feeling so left out?
Are you desperate to find something more before you're life is over?
Are you stuck inside a world you hate?
Are you sick of everyone around With the big fake smiles and stupid lies,
When deep inside you're bleeding
No you don't know what it's like
when nothing feels alright
no you don't know what it's like
To be like me

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the egde of breaking down
When no ones there to save you
Well you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life

No one ever lied sraight to your face
No one ever stabbed you in the back
You might think I'm happy
But I'm not gonna be ok
Everyone always gave you what you wanted
You never had to work it was always there
You don't know what it's like what it's like

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the egde of breaking down
When no ones there to save you
No you don't know what it's like (what it's like)

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the egde of breaking down
When no ones there to save you
Well you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life
Welcome to my life
Welcome to my life


That's so my song >> don't lie you peoples. it is mah song.
I can relate to the song so well. Like this:

Do you ever feel like breaking down? (Yes, all the time)
Do you ever feel out of place? (OH YES!)
Like somehow you just dont belong (yep)
And no one understands you (no one understands me, it's so true)
Do you ever wanna run away? (from home? no. from the pain? yes!)
Do you lock yourself in your room with the radio on turned up so loud no one hears you screamin (I don't have a radio that works o.o)
No you don't know what's it's like (no you don't)
When nothing feels alright (yeah)
You don't know what it's like (yeah!)
To be like me (You don't want to be me!)

Yep, just like that ^_^
heh, told you I had mixed emotions! now I'm happy and sad and overwroked and tiered and nervous. (That's a lot o.o;;)
anyways... These are the quizzes that reveal my inner paaain that I hide to keep people from worrying.


Your inner soul is calling for help! You always
seem so depressed, lonely, and feel like an
outsider. You may have a cold, sad exterior,
but in all reality you are hurt inside and
bottling up all of your anger. Everyday you
wonder why are you still here when there is
nothing left? You use to once be a happy,
loving soul, but it was damaged by 'them' and
seems like it never can be fixed again.
However, you have yet seemed to realize that
there are people out there that deeply care for
you. They secretly have a thing for you because
they find you to be dark, mysterious, and full
of secrets, not to mention being the prettiest
person in the world! You like to enjoy your
time by yourself expressing your feelings
through forms of art, and enjoy nice quiet
scenaries that just dazzle your mind with awe.
Your bedroom is basically your sanctuary where
you can hide out, hidden from those who gave
you all of the pain. Try to loosen up and have
some fun! Never start frowning because you
never know who's falling in love with your
smile :)


What Is Your Inner Soul Trying To Say?
brought to you by Quizilla



The one passion that deeply burns in your soul is
longing for love... You're often depressed and
you've been hurt so many times that you tears
seem meaningless, if you even have any left to
cry! You want to be able to reach out and tell
someone everything, making your troubles go
away... But... You jsut can't bring yourself to
do so... Everyday you wish that all of the pain
will just go away... Just disappear... However,
it just seems to get worse and you try to
bottle everything up inside as best as you can!
However, your plan sometimes fails, making you
lash out or break down emotionally. You just
wish to be like everyone else... You want to be
able to tell someone all of your problems...
But you're afraid of admitting your weakness...
You're that outside, loner, mistunderstood
person that has been pushed out of everyones'
life. You desperately try to break through the
barrier, but you guts tell you no... You'll
just be hurt again and again... So why bother?
Your sanctuary is your room, where you can hide
out and be out of 'their' visions. You like to
express your thoughts and feelings through
various forms of art, and try ridding of your
pain in 'different ways.' You're so busy caught
up in your own little, lost world, that you
have yet to realize that a light burns inside
of the darkness of the pack. You might not know
it, but out there... Someone is watching your
every move... Enjoying your presence...
Enjoying you for who YOU are! Wipe away those
tears and open up those beautiful eyes, see the
light! See what you're missing and grasp ahold,
break out of that crust, and mold... Smile your
way through life because the most beautiful
things cannot be concealed forever :)


What Passion Burns In Your Soul?
brought to you by Quizilla


Both are very true. *nod nod*
I'm takin another one right now. wonder what I'll get o.o;;
oh yeah! I got this result earlier!


You got Koga! He's fast, cute, arrogant,
dependable, dedicated, cocky, and not to
mention a pain-in-the-ass if you're someone
like Inuyasha! Heehee. Good luck!


What Inuyasha Guy Is For You? (Girls)
brought to you by Quizilla


^-^ so me, ne?
but they spelled his name wrong *twich* Koga is english version and Kouga is the Japanese version. I go for Japanese ANYDAY! ^.^
Anyways... umm... o.o;; not much else to say.... *listens to Welcome to My Life again*

Lots of Love!
-Hotaru
P.S. don't you guys worry about me either ^.~ I'm just all moddy again @.@
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