Saturday, April 10, 2004

The formation of my social life
My Life

I'm antisoacial, it's true (though that's down to my lack of confidence and usually the person also), but I will tell everyone about previous friends. That I can remember. And I don't remember them all.

My first best friend that I can remember was actually a boy. Now that really surprises me because I'm even less confident around boys than with girls. I also had a female friend, and we were all friends. ^_^ I remember hiding in the pretend bed at our 'triangle group', which is what our little place was called. I have absolutely no idea why. Well, those were my first *real* friends.

Then I went to Infants. Not much to say here, but everyone was still niave and friendly. Ah, what joy! Everyone was nice, even the boys. I became friends with (I think, my memory is soo faded...): Amy, Victoria (later shortened to 'Vicky'), Kim, Avril and I think Lauren and Kay were there then too. I was best friends with Amy, Kim was best friends with either Avril or Victoria, and Lauren, wait, she wasn't really in our group. She was best friends with a girl called Roxanne. And I think Kay was best friends with Avril... Well you know, that craps not really *that* important. Then we all went up to Junior school, and Roxanne went somewhere else, so we were Steffanie, Amy, Kim, Victoria, Lauren, Avril and Kay. Lauren and Kay became best friends, and Avril did something or other and I was still best friends with Amy. This was continued until' around the later part of Year 5, when I became... hated. Kim, the leader, hated me, so I was naturally hated by ALL the social group. Avril was still OK, but Kim started to hate her too. I still liked her, butI had no power. I was just Steffanie. Eventually, she detested me. I was I annoying thing which she decided that, for one reason or other, she hated. I loved the days when everyone was naive. We were all so ignorant of what would happen. No homework. Fun lessons. We were all care free once... I wish such ignorance were life long. I never used to like the phrase Ignorance is Bliss. But, Now I understand it a lot better, ignorance isn't always just not knowing something. I remember Kim, litte cute, stupid Kim, saying Good-Bye and Farewell to us all *cough* not me, though *cough* saying how she'd miss us all after the move to Seniors. She came to me. "I won't miss you at all." Or words as harsh, maybe even more than that. I can't remember it all. You'd think that it would have some significance, those words, and they do. I just remember more the way she hated me... for no reason I even knew.

In Senior school, I had better luck. I was with Lauren and Kay for a while. I became their 'cling on' after they bullied me for the food in my lunch box, which my Grandmother always overfilled. Then I became friends with Lara, Gemma and Lily. She has been the best friend I've ever had. I was also friends with a girl called Jessica. Later on, Gemma's friend Kim joined us. After that, another girl we had been friends with, Charlotte, had a major fall out with us. After that, she became the really unpopular kid. There's always one in every class. Jessica became friends with other girls, Emma, Emma and Jody. We were never really enemies or anything. Jody later joined our group rather unsolidily. Then, it went like that. I was solid with Lily. We were the unseperable friends considered as either:
a) Japanese,
b) Snobs,
c) Freaks, OR
d) General weirdos.

We were such great friends. Then I moved to France. She moved to private school on the very same date.

Now, I hang around with an English girl, Sarah, Barbara, who lives on my road, Audrey, who's unbelievably cute! and Sandrine, who I don't know much about. The object of my desire is a boy who likes video games and manga. I think he might like anime too. I think his name is a weird French name like 'Willdy' or something. But it sounds to me like ti's pronounced like 'Windy'. That's probably just me.

Skin Information

Finished the playlist editor, working on repairing the main part where the buttons are disfiguring the character's face.

Listening to...Many songs, now My Sweet Heart, Tokyo Mew Mew OP
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Friday, April 9, 2004

   My Life

I'm getting the Card Captor Sakura box set for the first six manga, which rocks. Only have to wait until' May for that! *hops* Back to the long description of my life. I'll start today on a topic most dreaded...

Memories of yesterday...

Well... not nessesarily "yesterday", but more the past. You know, who I've met, you I wish I never even came into contact with, and embarassing moments. Previous crushes, wishes and dreams. By that I mean both the wish kind and the ones you have at night which make no sense. I'll start with a couple of dreams which I can remember:

The nightmare at Dexter's Laboratory
This is one of a few dreams which I haven't forgotten. Right there with the one(s) with me playing football/soccer in the bed (I'll come to that at a later date). It was kind of short, and it terrified me. I woke up crying, but it really was a wimpy dream, brought on by unhealthy boughts of watching Cartoon Network. I was outside, and then Dexter's Dad suddenly appeared, pointing at a large, very crude looking building/apartment block thing, which had an equally crude monster/hairy thing on it. "Go and feed him, then!" Monster: "I want my food!" I then woke up. Terrified.

I remember, that was back in our old old house, where I had to share a room with my sister, Megan. We had a bunk bed, I got top. Megan used to climb up the back (she was young and tiny so she could manage this easily) in the night or the morning to wake me up or to stop me sleeping or just to play/talk. I hated it at the time, but now it's more a nostalgic memory that gets faded away and nearly always forgotten.

Skin Information

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Thursday, April 8, 2004

   Let's go further...
My life

Time to go on from where I left off... I go to school in a nearby town which is still sleepy and tractor ridden but it's a little more active. There's a supermarket, a little bank, an English bar, a newsagent and a very small shopping area with a town map and a church. Also many cafes which close at lunch, one of the most stupid things about France. There's also a large town like my old town in size a little further away. After that, you can go further out and go out to Royan or Saintes which has a lot of manga in the maison de la presse (a bit like a newsagents, but bigger). So I like going shopping there.

Moving on, time to talk more about my boring life. (I'm ony doing this so you know who or what I'm talking about later on here!!! Don't groan!) I have a sister (unfortunately, but she can be so much fun sometimes, normally before she takes her Ritalin...), a mother (she rocks. I'd still be wearing last week's underwear if it weren't for her. Note: not a joke.), a stepfather (he also rocks. He hates anime, but I can put up with that.) and his old bitch of a mother, "Nanny Hilda". I'm not going to talk about her much or else I want to kill something or someone. Enough said on HER.

Pets. Two cats, Tiggy and Kitty (original naming there. I wanted to call one Sakura but the family shunted that idea) but, technically, we have four. Two ran away. They were pretty crappy cats. Felix and Smoky, but soon Mum says I can get a kitten of my own (again)!

Four goats. These are just annoying creatures which sleep in the stalagtite room and eat ivy off trees. Not much to say except that the baby one is going to it's old owner, and the two females are pregnant.

Chickens. Many eggs in an incubator (some ready to hatch), and 14 outside, with ALL of our land to explore. Two cockerels. These are rather boring, stupid but funny animals. Especially with the baby goat around.

School friends... well, yeah. This is kind of empty. I always had a socialization problem after Junior school, and now I have that and I can't speak French. And I'm not very confident. So I don't have many friends, obsessive first year stalkers, but not really any friends. I hang around in a group, and I have a major thing for the guy who likes video games, manga and a lot has confidence. Weird, normally I would have started talking about a new manga release with this kind of person. Shame...

Skin Information

Fixing up many problems with the skin and doing the playlist editor.
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Wednesday, April 7, 2004

   An introduction to my life
My Life

I'm called Steffanie. I own the site Hotaru's Winamp Skins, and this is my blog. Simple, ne? Here you can gaze confusedly into the weird mind behind the site... if you really wish to. OK, let's go!

So, here I am in France. It's a pretty warm day. It's usually pretty warm, and nearly always pretty... It's nice, if you like that sort of stuff. I prefered it in Stevenage, my old town which had an old town. Sure, it was a crap hole in places, there were a few holes in the roads but it was nice. Why do I prefer living in that town? Because I prefer to be involved, to live in a place where it doesn't smell intirely of animal faece.

I might as well quit complaining, because someday I realise that... maybe it might have been better for me... here. Boy, is that a hard thing to say. Shame I'm too lazy to protest. Shame I'm alone... Did I warn you about angst? Oh, crap, no. Well, I angst a lot. Now you can't complain about my complaining. I'm so alone... And the guy I like doesn't speak my language, and I don't speak his... *weep* and I still have to do homework in this foreign land... *weeps more*

Skin information

Making a *really* adorable Love Monster skin. Love Monster is a manga I know nearly nothing about. ^^ There's a bit of information on this manga in Teki's shoujo listings, at Totally Chibi. That's all...
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