Wednesday, July 18, 2007

vini vidi vichi
In a way i brought myself up to be the person who i am, my mother & father all though there wernt really there if you get me & it wasnt because they didnt want to be, they just couldnt, both had & still have very demanding jobs, & i respect that they copped it on the chin so that they can live the life they now live, but it left me to bring myself up. It has made me self reliant to the fact i hate asking for help & despite what im saying now it has made me very reclusive of my past & thoughts etc etc. I as any young boy loved the old concepts of war, even at first if i didnt quite understand what war was, but it has made me to live not by religion, but a state of mind & a kind of ode that i have addapted from the study of many cultures of old, ranging from japanese, roman, athean greak, etc etc.
its odd what can happen to your mind when something as small as a dream shatters, the person you are kind of changes, & although what you become will always now be a part of you the old, it can be banished somewhat until the preasure sealing it is taken away.
I have become a man who strives himself on pride, honor, justice & freedom, even if at times i dont seem that way, these are some of the things i hold very dear to myself, & i one of these were somewhat diluded but it has seemed to have gone pure again.

I am a massive fan of naruto, for many reason, but the main one is that what i think is the main moral of the story & thats live to aquire your dream, it was something that i used to be. I feel i am becoming that once again, i feel the erge i have not felt in years, & it was a matter of dumb luck that i didnt notice it before but ive noticed it now.

this post may make no sence of all to you, to me it does not really matter, i felt a need to write this as a thank you of somewhats to a person who somewho brought my attention to it, even if not meaning it. she may never realise the effect this may have on my life. Im not one to be in a situation where i owe someone but i owe her big time & well yeah tat just it i owe her big time so thanks.

& for everyone else im sorry if your soewhat confused, my mind focuses in weird ways & it hasnt been this clear in a long time.
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Monday, June 11, 2007

I was surprised to see your name con. When i re-made this i looked for those i could remember, & couldnt find your name turn up anywhere, so i assumed you moved on, but it seems i was mistaken, yet again.
Im sorry con
I was fired from my bartending job, it seemed they didnt lik me taking jagerbombers as a pick me up, or rum, or taquila. But hey if your customer buys you a shot, you dont turn it down. But i would still serve you a drink or two, on the house.

It seems im hunting, yet again, for a job. Possibly another bartending job but not in a club this time, unless i go as a cocktail waiter, which is good pay but when your starting off pretty stressful, the many broken bottles & all, doesnt look all that good but it happens ey.
I have some back up ideas, if i am not able to figure out i want to do with my life, i will sign up for the army, maybe officer, but i wont do the short term stuff, if i sign p, it will be for at least a 5-10 year. If i do something like enroling in the army, i would like to do what i would be trained for, for some reason war has always appealed to me, maybe i can find myself there.

hmmm im just rambling on, somethings dont change, i still like to type things like this as if i am talking, it has more feeling, more natural.

It seems i have wasted another day. I have to do some things before night sets in so i must go.

have a gooden

oh al, whats this fetish with this jap guy?

& i dont like chains, they chafe to much

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Sunday, June 3, 2007

Insanity or sanity?
The alteration made by the sands of time, they can be quite dramatic.
it seems those i knew here have, for the majority, moved on, but thats a factor of life, people move on.
To dwell on the past isn't a healthy thing, but we all do it & suffer for it.
Despite this, some linger on, Al & sita, i know you are there, even if you wish it be hidden, fair enough.
Time has altered me as well it seems, Id hate to say it but I seemed to have matured somewhat, But one thing has not changed, my love for art, which originally got me into anime, I guess thats apart of the reason i have come back, though im not a fan of the writen cos-play.

My life & its meaning remains unwriten, unknown, undetermined, but for the meanwhile, i will venture here.

have a gooden
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Tuesday, May 15, 2007

the prodigal son
Alot happens in a seemingly small period of time.
A seemingly small period of time can actualy last for a long time.
Thus is life & the revolution of the gears of life.

I've come back to myotaku, I've realised that ties, even distant ties, should not be thrown away bliindly. But thats all in the past, & this is the present.

For those who fall upon this site & have read my words for the first time, Oh Harrow, my name is Matt/Matthew but Im known best as Howee amoung my friends. Im 18 & Im getting into bartending atm. I finished school last year & hit the piss pretty well as any bloke my age. I have a passion for art which got me into anime & various other media. Im also a pretty heavy gamer atm & I love the gym, & Im usually on the grog when ever i feel like it. One thing I love about this country is that no one cares if you hit the piss when your eatin breakfast. For those who dont know what hittin the piss & grog is, its alcohol. Mainly rum, I love the shit. I may be joining the Australian Army at the end of this year & thats about it ey.

Anyway have a gooden & ill see you around

Later ey
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