Saturday, October 13, 2007

   Beauty and The Beast
So when Dean was over last summer, we (Echo, Dean, Parahuman and I) watched Beauty and the Beast because none of us had seen it in a while and it is one of the best Disney movies. Anyway, we analyzed it. I love the opening, the stained glass and the voice and everything. It's beautiful. But, if you put it all together: his twenty first birthday, "for ten long years we've been rusting...", That poor kid was eleven when he was cursed. Of course the eleven year old lord is going to be bratty and turn away an ugly, old woman. Especially if she tries to buy him with a rose. He's a little boy. Don't let the little lord answer the door. And where were his parents? It didn't seem like had any at the time. Not to mention, didn't the town/village notice that the Nobles next door kind of disapeared? It had only been ten years, the vast majority of the townspeople were adults or preteens at the time, plenty old enough to realize that the castle was there. But Maurice didn't seem like he recognized the place. Neither did Belle. In fact, the whole town seemed surprised to know that the castle was there or that there was something inside. And then they wanted to kill him. If they had realized that there was someone there just ten years earlier, they might put it together. And Gaston, I have no idea how to spell that, is probably a good deal older than Belle,It was normal then. But that means that he should know about the castle too. And Gaston is the exact opposite of an anime guy. He's big and strong. Obviously anime guys are not big, then they wouldn't be anime, they're all very feminine. Geston's a manly-man. And he's got deep voice. Now, why is it that the manly-men like Geston are the bad guys while the girly men, like Beasty or orlando bloom are the love interests? I think the world likes Bloom because of anime's influence, but that's off topic. Then again, Beasty is pretty girly, but he's mostly the love interest while a beast, when he wasn't so girly. And Gaston's voice is all deep while Beasty's voice is all high. Not that I'm favoring anyone, I'm just saying. Now, during the Be Our Guest song, there were thousands of spoons. Were each of those spoons actually a servant or did the curse make other things come to life? Same with all the suits of armor. And the cups. Pots said "with your brothers and sisters". Were there that many kids running around the castle? And was the beast the only one who aged? Chip is like 5, he couldn't have been aging the whole time. Though I guess Beasty was the only one who was technically still alive so that would make sense. And what exactly were Cogcworth and Lumiere's jobs? If they and Mrs. Pots could speak so openly to Beasty. Or maybe things just lost their formality after there were no more humans. And why were the wolves so starving that they would attack something like Beasty? And how often did Beasty leave the castle, and no one saw him? Maybe they're so hungry because Beasty ate all their prey. Anyway, how did a blonde guy like Beasty turn out to be a big, cool, brown Beast? I always thought he was cool, he had horns and a gruff voice and a fluffy tail. And then he turned into....him. At least they kept the blue eyes the whole time. And I like how he think-sings in his own voice. It probably would've been difficult to sing in Beast's voice. But Belle was really stupid showing the town people the beast. Talk about lack of foresight. But it leads into a good song. They have good songs in that movie. But not only does she get Beasty stabbed, I don't think all of the townpeople made it out of there. That's kinda disturbing. But Belle is pretty good as far as damsle in distress goes. She doesn't stand around and get saved as often and when she did she said thank you and then kept on going. How many other Disney heroines would have yelled a beast? Except maybe Jasmine. I don't know if she would have. I always forget what Beasty looks like as himself, and it's always "ew". I mean, his lashes are longer than hers. And it looks a little like he broke his nose. Probably from running around right afer getting cursed. Not being used to that mass, or strength, he probably lost sight of his momentum and ran into a few walls. Especially in a place with that many stairs and everyone suddenly a tenth of his height. I bet not all of the staff made it through the ten years. His nose really looks bad in the ending stained glass picture. But Gaston didn't really need to die, and Beasty was stabbed. Dead. It's very nice of the sorceress to allow him to change anyway. And shrink his clothes for him at the same time. But Belle was sure convinced easy. I know she recognized the kind, blue eyes or something, but he was dead. Even if it was him, he was dead. And then blonde! And Maurice sure took it all well. I wonder what Lefou did after Geston was gone. That guy was creepy. So don't trust the neiborhood pretty boy. Don't underestimate the path less traveled by. Don't dis roses. Don't take the magic mirror so your giant boyfriend can't check on you. Don't let your beast turn if you can help it, but don't dump him if he has money. Only turn your back on a corpse. And don't let the eleven year old boy answer the door.

This is not mine. It's by JohnSu.
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