Friday, January 21, 2005

   ooooooook then
pfffft....

What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Just when i start to get up reality
kicks me back down.WHY?????!!!

A sample of my day...

I was eating lunch with some good friends of mine today.We were doin the usual, them talkin about nothin...me daydreaming and pretending to listen.Then out of the blue they start talking about their first time....In excruciating detail..That brought me back to reality..I tried to slink away before they asked me but they caught me...."So Nikita...what was your first time like? hmmm.." (do you know that feeling where you want to dig a shallow grave and just DIE!! That was how i was feeling) It takes alot to catch me off guard..but that did it."errr....." I could feel myself blushing like crazy so i hide behind my hair. "You did have a first time didnt you?..."
Those bloodsuckers leaned in closer with these stupid grins plastered on their faces."hmmmmmmm?? " She sang as she leaned in even closer. Id had enough. I started walking away really really fast...but not fast enough to not hear them laughing and whispering like crazy.(some friends huh?) I ran into the back of the school and punched the side of a classroom."FUCK YOU PEOPLE!!!" I screeched then slumped down to the ground crying.Suddenly I felt a warm hand on my shoulder. I looked up and saw Calli.She wasnt there when it happened...but the rumors were already flying full force."Kida..?"
I didnt answer,just kept staring at the ground.

me: go away calli..

calli: dont let them get to you...that was mean what they said..

me: ya think?

calli: Nikita why do you care what they say?! your prettier than all of us but youre to stubborn to realize it!!!

She took out her pocket mirror and made me look at myself. "look at yourself....hard...what do you see?"
I looked at my reflection.The same old me. "im not pretty so just leave me alone!!!" i screamed at her and turned around. "stop it nikita! do you know what i see?.....Emerald green eyes that im STILL jealous of!
a figure girls would die for!! lips that only movie stars have!! hair that ive wanted for as long as i can remember!! A face that never needs or wears makeup!! FACE IT!! youre beautifull!!!" She pulled me into a bonecrushing hug while she panted.
"now....really....LOOK!" she said icily and shoved the mirror back at me.I took it slowly and looked at myself again.My sad green eyes stared back at me.I started noticing that she was particially right. "im not half bad i guess..." i muttered stubbornly.I hugged her lovingly then we walked back to class.on the way there this guy passed me a note.
"my friend wanted you to have this."He said then dashed away.
(ill tell you what it said tomorrow..
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
that my friends....is a true friend.I love her so much. (non-lesbian way...) Im not ashamed
about being a virgin.i just dont like TALKING about it!! im still waitin for that special person.thats all........
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