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Monday, August 7, 2006


August 7, 2006

Wow, let's put this this way. I had a very very interesting weekend. I'm learning more and more about the dark years of my life. Actually, I'm not going to share too much, for fear of making y'all too depressed, because it's not like I'm in a rut or anything, I just had stuff brought up.

I'll start this off by telling you about my dad. His name is unimportant, just know that he was a disciplinarian and I loved him to death, because he was my dad. He had been in the army, and retired shortly before we moved to my current state of residence. He's the reason I love math, and study so hard like I do. Well, in August 1999, my father died. And to this day, I never like to think ill of the man who left my mom to raise all four of us. This month I may seem a little whacky, but please, understand that this is my unofficial month of reflection, where I look back and see what I've done to improve my life. That being said, and me actually starting to cry, because this really is a little bit hard, opening up this part of me to everyone. See, my serious side scares people, and I try not to, and I'm kinda afraid I guess of scaring y'all away. I'm still the happy person y'all know better. I just have some dark stuff to deal with. BB is too young to remember Daddy as well as I do. Actually, sometime this month I plan to go out and see his grave. Due to some rather unusual circumstances (please PM me if you want to know; I will not share these here), I was unable to attend his funeral or see his grave. So I want to go. It's a partial closure, a step in my own personal healing, because going means admitting that he really is gone forever. Yeah, that's hard.

I have been to therapy over this. I learned the best way to solving my problems is to talk it out, because locking away your emotions make you so much more depressed. I think a long time ago, I was on the edge, but my family and friends saved me. So now I treasure my friends like gold, even if I don't talk to them like I used to. Now I couldn't be further away. Okay, I think that's enough. I'm sorry if anyone didn't need to hear that, but unfortunately, I felt I'd hidden it from y'all for far too long. Well, I'm going to bed. I'll visit everyone in the morning. Later.

~Acorn~

PS- "Remember, rainbows always come after the storm."

And I will wait, even if I think it'll never come, because hoping for the light is better than living with the dark.




Look at me! I can twirl a cane! WHEE!

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