Wednesday, August 23, 2006

   i feel....
i feel so confused...i want to cut myself or sumthin to harm me...but i know it's a bad thing, but i can't help but feel that way. if someone very close to me does die...i just might cut myself...i duno wut's wrong with me, maybe it's all in my head...but i always feel like cuttin myself or...worse, killin myself...i think i need therapy or sumthin or i am just sufferin from a strong depression.....i just duno anymore, i just don't care anymore, i just don't care...
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Monday, August 21, 2006

   ...
i fear the worst for my nephew. he's only about 8-9 months old, but something's wrong with him. he gets seizures, and i saw him have one. he shakes his head when he sleeps. my mom told me that the only thing keepin him live was his fat, but he's gettin skinny now. poor juju, i don't want to lose him. me and him are the sick ones in the family, but he's worse than me. something about the brain my mom said...i had to say this, and as i write this i feel like crying but i can't....i will always love my juju and his sister gabby, who by the way, has a very interesting vocabulary *cough* and my friend was a victim of it too once....wut do they teach that girl xD but she's to cute, even though she lied and i was a victim of the lie, but, no one believed her! ^^ i did not hit her! and yet she told my mom i did, that little hellion....but she's my little niece, i love her so much i can just hug her! wait i do that anyways xD she's just to cute! anyways, i had to say that, so thanx for readin this if you read it.

-Arisu
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Sunday, August 20, 2006

yey?
i finally posted up 2 pics, one i drew, and one thta my friend sakai drew for me! i feel special, but i am in trouble with parents for buyin a ninja headband....it's troublesome, and my dad lectured me, but i still get to keep it xD
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Friday, August 18, 2006

   bored...and...bored xD
yah, dad finally taught me how to use the scanner. but sadly, i still can't put a pic of sonia up here, i gotta fix it....i have to get it smaller...if anyone can help, PM me. thanks, and as soon as it is up, i will be awaitin a few hate comments by a certain person or people. oh and i have the funniest friend! we had to do a survey thing in science, and i was doin one from another student so she answered another for me and told the guy to put i was emo...it was freakin sweet! i feel so special, even if emo isn't a good or bad thing...anyways, L8R!!!
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Wednesday, August 16, 2006

   hey, thought i could give some poetry a shot...i suck though so..that's it...
look, i was in 8th grade when i did this and went through sort of a depression so i don't care what you think, but i felt this way!-
____________________________________________________
My existence fades into the night. I fade away with every change of the seasons. Soon I will be gone like the stars in the day. I will never look back, I will never come back, to the life i once had. I will look and go forward to the life that is there, waiting for me.

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Sunday, August 13, 2006

my 'insane' issues
yah, i agree with myself that i am insane! now, whenever i am really angry, i will bite my lip! i will try to bite so hard, i want it to bleed! yes, i have come to terms with the fact that i am insane! i dun act normal at times, but i like the fact that i am insane! but some would think me crazy! that's fine to! think of me as crazy or insane! i just like to be angry, for the pain...no, no family issues caused me to be like that, oh no. it was an old friend who just ticked me off! i can tell she won't be reading this so it's ok! besides, she's the reason why, so yah, it's all her fault. no, i won't mention names, and if she does read this, she wouldn't know that it was her. that's all for now, i am gonna go now and go insane or crazy or whatever you people think i am! i don't care what you think of me, so bye! and i am sorry to those who think i am mad at them, but am not, except for the one person who reads this, and still doesn't know it was her fault that i am crazy and insane. so bye... oh and the amv is how i am!


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Monday, July 31, 2006

   Grr!
as you can all plainly see i am angry! one of my friends is being mean to one of my best friends! they were also friends but now for some reason, when she started hangin out with another girl, she started to become mean and cuss her out and lie to her. what she is doin to her is just screwed up! i can't stand it! and if the person (yes u kno who u r! and i kno everything now!) is readin this, i hope you have an awful year at high school and end up with no friends except the whore you hang with and have insult my best friend! go to hell bitch!
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Wednesday, July 26, 2006

   WHEE!!!
me and sakai are gonna apply for jobs at publix! and hopefully we'll get them, i just gotta ask my parents, and hopefully they'll say yes...besides, they don't pay me anymore so i need the job. hopefully they won't ask how i'm gonna get there, if they do then i already have a plan hehehe. sakai offered to give me a ride....so as long as i am workin, no more naggin from my parents. just hope they let me work there....and if they do and i do get the job then....YUSH! CHA!!!! *dances insanely*
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Monday, July 17, 2006

   0o
ugh, i couldn't go to sleep....darn vault! i blame the drink, i went to bed at 12 sumthin and woke up about 5 hours later and tried to sleep again but to no avail so i am awake cause of that darn vault drink!!!
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Sunday, July 16, 2006

   hey ppl *falls asleep* zzzzzZZZZZZZzzzzzz
*yawns* hey, i want to go back to sleep oh so much but sadly, i already got in trouble for wakin up at 1:21...anyways, got new glasses yesterday, and tinted them. wut color? you shall never know hehe. but i go back to lenscrafters so get a transvision or whatever...anyways bye!
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