Sunday, February 22, 2004

The Bliss of Vice

I wonder how I survived without smoking. It calms me down to the point where I no longer want to inflict physical harm on annoying individuals. Now, mental harm is a completely different matter. I hope I get lung cancer. Well, actually I don't care one way or another. I'm going to be dead soon enough, so no worrys.

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Saturday, February 14, 2004

Lonely and depressed

I wonder what would happen if I just vanished one day. If I just fell off the face of the Earth. Somehow I doubt anyone would care. Oh, hey, check this out. I wrote it last month, and just finished tinkering with it. It doesn't matter Who is right Because I am always wrong No matter what the fight. I am a stupid teen Who yells and screams I always hurt Those close to me. They never listen But who really cares I'm never right So lets not split hairs. So full of pride And of themselves I never get heard Like a dusty book on some shelves. Treat me like dirt It'll be great fun But don't be suprised I'm already numb. I hate this life I didn't choose it I'll keep going But the fuse has been lit. I'm like a bomb Full of destructive power Let's hope I'm gone That fateful hour. Treat me like shit What's done has been done Get a few more hits in Then be prepared to run. Maybe I won't I'll be defective Shit, I don't care I wasn't elected. I chose this path I and I alone But you had a hand in This knife you did hone. You will be shocked Had no clue I had degressed this far Don't argue, it's true. So for once I am correct The only time And you can't argue Can't change the crime. I'll be gone You'll stay here Ponder my past Ponder my fear. So strange to hear That word on my lips Wasn't I made numb by you ignorent dips? What's going to happen After the bang Why do I care Why shouldn't I hang? Why shouldn't the victim Return the abuse They gain nothing, But do they lose? Or is it I Alone in my mind Who create all the insults That on my mind so grind. Unraveled strings Collect at their feet Far to gone To turn down the heat. My mind is ablase From fires within To suggest putting them out Is worthy to grin. Too late to save Already burned down Run already Get to the ground! Leave me here My last few days Already alone All but one saved. One is I I alone Don't barge in Ignore my moan. Do what you always do Don't change your pattern now Only one here Alone I do howl. The moon shines red On the dark sky Perfect for blood And air to say "hi". Don't you believe That I have the guts Arn't you aware Of old shiny cuts? Screw it I don't care Only I This choice must bear. That is false Again I am wrong Someone will notice That the bitch is gone. The people who birthed me Will notice the silence No note of rebellion No sound of defiance. Will they be releaved They who sharpened my blade Will they be saddened They did not come to my aid? Many questions But I have no answers Bet they do My humble sires. Don't care one way Don't care the other It's going to happen Sorry mother. But now I lie As I always do Fuck this shit, And fuck you too.

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Monday, February 2, 2004

Hey folks. Been a long time, not nearly long enough. It is official. I am an idiot. Yesterday at work I nearly sliced my pinky finger off with the Milkshake mixer. *sigh*. Well, at least I admit it. I know several people who would deny that it happened. Whatever.

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Saturday, December 27, 2003

Family

We all have one. Family. ugh. I'm at my grandmother's house, joy of joys. Her home is nice enough, when it is just her and I. But my mother's entire side of the family tree is running around. The little shits are messing around with a woopie cushion. The adults are getting a buzz. I am the victim of family abuse. Actually, it would be quite funny; were it happening to someone else.

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Friday, December 26, 2003

It's x-mas. The 3 reasons I know this are simple. First, in the comics, nearly every strip had something about wishing you pus bags a merry x-mas. One was cute enough, I believe it said "Have a very hairy Christmas" with animals in the foreground. 2nd reason is that a very enthusiastic person, I had thought died, called my home with holiday greetings. I hung up on him. 3rd reason, I didn't have to work today. Which ment I got to stay home and read a book titled "The Virgin Suicides". A classic. Okay, folks, I know no one reads any of the shit I post. I am doing this because it makes my life seem less pointless. Pouring out hateful words to idiots I've never met is very relaxing. Better then the "Happy pills" those quacks keep trying to make me pay for. On a side note--Santa and his reindeer did not stop at my house last night; the rats were causing quite a racket all evening; and nobody slept a wink until well after sunrise-we were all drunk and stumbling around the living room breaking shit. Doesn't matter anyway; I'm Jewish and I've still got tomorrow night to get gifts. Suck on that.

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Friday, December 19, 2003

'Lo folks. Whoever has nothing to do right now, drop to the floor and expire. Now. *sigh*, Does no one listen anymore? Oh well. A "Friend" I have sent me this e-mail. I enjoyed it. If you don't like it, then leave. I don't need your kind here anyway. The Real Differences Between Christmas & Chanukah In our egalitarian society it is important to make and understand distinctions. 1. Christmas is one day, same day every year, December 25. Jews also love December 25th. It's another paid day off work. We go to movies and out for Chinese food and Israeli dancing. Chanukah is 8 days. It starts the evening of the 24th of Kislev, whenever that falls. No one is ever sure. Jews never know until a non-Jewish friend asks when Chanukah starts, forcing us to consult a calendar so we don't look like idiots. We all have the same calendar, provided free with a donation from either the World Jewish Congress, the kosher butcher, or the local Sinai Memorial Chapel (especially in Florida) or other Jewish funeral home. 2. Christmas is a major holiday. Chanukah is a minor holiday with the same theme as most Jewish holidays. They tried to kill us, we survived, let's eat. 3. Christians get wonderful presents such as jewelry, perfume, stereos...Jews get practical presents such as underwear, socks, or the collected works of the Rambam, which looks impressive on the bookshelf. 4. There is only one way to spell Christmas. No one can decide how to spell Chanukah, Chanukkah, Chanukka, Channukah, Hanukah, Hannukah, etc. 5. Christmas is a time of great pressure for husbands and boyfriends. Their partners expect special gifts. Jewish men are relieved of that burden. No one expects a diamond ring on Chanukah. 6. Christmas brings enormous electric bills. Candles are used for Chanukah. Not only are we spared enormous electric bills, but we get to feel good about not contributing to the energy crisis. 7. Christmas carols are beautiful...Silent Night, Come All Ye Faithful....Chanukah songs are about dreidels made from clay or having a party and dancing the hora. Of course, we are secretly pleased that many of the beautiful carols were composed and written by our tribal brethren. And don't Barbara Streisand and Neil Diamond sing them beautifully? 8. A home preparing for Christmas smells wonderful. The sweet smell of cookies and cakes baking. Happy people are gathered around in festive moods. A home preparing for Chanukah smells of oil, potatoes, and onions. The home, as always, is full of loud people all talking at once. 9. Women have fun baking Christmas cookies. Women burn their eyes and cut their hands grating potatoes and onions for latkes on Chanukah. Another reminder of our suffering through the ages. 10. Parents deliver to their children during Christmas. Jewish parents have no qualms about withholding a gift on any of the eight nights. 11. The players in the Christmas story have easy to pronounce names such as Mary, Joseph, and Jesus. The players in the Chanukah story are Antiochus, Judah Maccabee, and Matta whatever. No one can spell it or pronounce it. On the plus side, we can tell our friends anything and they believe we are wonderfully versed in our history. 12. Many Christians believe in the virgin birth. Jews think, "Joseph, Bubela, snap out of it. Your woman is pregnant, you didn't sleep with her, and now you want to blame God. Here's the number of my shrink." 13. In recent years, Christmas has become more and more commercialized. The same holds true for Chanukah, even though it is a minor holiday. It makes sense. How could we market a major holiday such as Yom Kippur? Forget about celebrating. Think observing. Come to synagogue, starve yourself for 27 hours, become one with your dehydrated soul, beat your chest, confess your sins, a guaranteed good time for you and your family. Tickets a mere $200 per person.

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Saturday, December 13, 2003

Did everyone just die?

I'm all alone. Thank you god. Except for the fact that I've got the hiccups. And I'm sick. Damn. Well, everyone and their dog is sick. That makes me feel better, except that the dogs are sick. Okay, the dogs arn't sick; they are simply resting. NO, THEY ARE NOT DEAD! Why does it have to be so fucking cold? The heater is on, dammit! And yes, I know that it is winter, and based on logic, it will be cold. The fact that the Earth's orbit is farther away from the sun has not escaped my notice. And the fact that it is night right now is fairly obvious. It was a rhetorical question.

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Monday, December 1, 2003

Okay folks. I'm here. I made it. Hold the cheers. I mean it. Shut up. Several years ago I bought the soundtrack for Little Shop of Horrors. I'm listening to it now, and the sad part is that I remember all the lyrics for every song on the CD. Would someone please shoot me? The reward is this stupid CD that I can't seem to stop listening to. It's a magic CD. It will make the coolest seeming person turn into a pile of steaming flesh. I am immune to most of the magic, it simply burns my ear-drums up. Alright, I believe that is all I need to write. I would say goodnight, but since I hate you, I won't.

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