WHO ARE YOU? I am Becky.
WHO ARE YOU? I am Rebecca Anne.
WHO ARE YOU? I am a human. I live alone in my mind. I dread the sun. I hate the cold. I long for darkness. I move towards the light. I am the ultimate hypocrite. I am a human being.
WHAT ARE YOU? I am a living creature. No better then bacteria. No worse then the whale. I kill others to live. Whither it be plants or animals, viruses or bugs, I kill them all to keep my belly full, my body clean. I live life murdering others, yet I go unpunished. Murderers are put to death, I have not been. Or have I… when I am no longer, won’t the bacteria feast on my decaying body? Won’t one starving creature feed on my flesh…me, a great all-you-can-eat-buffet?
WHY DO YOU LIVE? I live because that is what I am programmed to do. My parents taught me to eat, to sleep, to clean, to live. I live because they want me to live. I live because in some small part of my brain, I want to live.
WHY? Like all living things, I fear death.
WHY? Because no one knows what happens when you die… when I die. No one has ever come back from death to tell us what it was like. What if death is worse then life? But what if it is better? No one knows.
ARE YOU SCARED OF THE UNKNOWN? Yes. I am deeply terrified. But I also wish to know. I would die just to have the knowledge of what those before me know. I would take my life and give it without a second thought.
WHY DON’T YOU? I tell myself that it’s because of my loved ones. I convince myself that without me around they would die themselves or become crazy or put away. I tell myself that my dog, Maddie, would…could not survive without me in her life. But I do not because I am afraid to take those last few steps. The last steps to death. To knock upon his door and enter with glee. I am scared of it.
WHY TRY TO MAKE IT THEM THAT NEED YOU, INSTEAD OF YOU WHO NEED THEM? The human nature is to make oneself more important then others. Therefore without my commanding presence in their lives, they would break. They would…could not go on. But if they know that it was them I needed to stay alive, might they not hold it to their advantage? Might they not use me and all I hold dear to get what they want? No, it’s better to hold my own council on these matters.
THEN YOU WILL DIE. As will everyone. Age is the highest cause of death. Eventually we all go as one through the doorway. No one comes back through. The one’s that say they have, never even cleared the frame.
WHO ARE YOU? I am Rebecca Anne. I am me. I am one unto one’s self. I am a single entity in the mass of humanity. I am one with the mass of humanity. I am a single drop of water in the ocean. I am everything, but nothing. I am Rebecca Anne. I am Becky. I choose to live. I will choose to die. I would know all the secrets of the world, of the other worlds if you’ll let me. I am a mass of tissues and flesh. I am billions upon billions upon billions of atoms. They make up me. Without them I would not be me. I would not live. I could not die. All this I know. But I still don’t know who I am.
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