Thursday, October 18, 2007

I have come to realize that I get scared easily. I usually din't, it's just lately. Today is a good reference. My dad had me go outside in the garage to get some ice cream from the freezer. You know how in scary movies, a person will open the door an the dog will run outside and find a dead body or the killer. Well I opened the door and my dog, Sam, runs out and goes outside. I call for him and he doesn't come. I thought, "Ho, sheeyit, I'm gonna die." I started chasing after the dog and was hoping he wouldn't bring me back a severed arm or something. I'm a little scaredy cat! I need a life, bad. I also need some inspiration for drawing, or some type of caffinated drink. I really have nothing else to talk about. Life has been very uneventful. I'll talk to you all later, Bai!
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Monday, October 15, 2007

I start all my posts with Well. Geez I really need to stop! xDD
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Well, I tried to break up with Syd today. She was avoiding me all day. I had about 4 people who were gonna tell her the next time they saw her it was over. I know it was rude of me, but cheating on someone. I'm really mad right now too. Not for the whole 'avoiding' thing but I bought this book the other day and now I can't find it anywhere. I know I didn't leave it at my moms house cause I remember bringing it home. Eh. I think I might be pregnant. Ok seriously how many people just gasped? xDD not really. I don't even hold hands! lul Well I'mma go now. Bai! Oh I should be posting some new fanart soon so BE READY!!! ^3^
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Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Well, I think I'm getting sick. My nose is all runny and my head hurts. Oh guess what! Remember the girls I was dating Syd? Yea well I found out today that while we were dating (four whole days xDD) she was cheating on me. At first when Tori told me I was like..pshh big deal. Yea, I started thinking about it later on today and I realized I was feeling bad about talking to C when she was cheating on me! I felt bad about just TALKING to someone...fuck that shit. That is the worst thing anyone could do to anyone else. If you don't have th guts to tell someone else you don't like them anymore, then you need to at least find someone else to tell them. Or if you thik your hot shit and you can have to girlfriends (boyfriends) at the same time, your a douche. Gah! I was pissed and I still am. Tha's bullshit. S. HE was the one who ask ME out! anyway...I have suddenly found myself obsessing over Hitomi Takahashi. Freakin, she's hot.

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Sunday, October 7, 2007

well, I spent the night at my girlfirends house last night. Me and a couple friends went over there to hang out. We hung out, lit a fire (god was that hot), and played some games. All was fine until we went back inside. I layed down on the bed and so did Syd. We held hands for a bit, then she broke out the handcuffs. I started freaking out. First she handcuffed herself to the bed...Ii walked into the bathroom to hide), then another friend. I went back into the room and and layed back down. She started putting a blindfold on and getting really, really close and trying to kiss me. (I am honestly a virgin to dating. I was FREAKING out) I sat on the floor and she kept trying to get me to come back. I didn't. I told Tori it was too fast and I was scared. *sigh* I'm not sure having a girlfriend right now is a good thing. I liked being single, I didn't have to worry about things to say infront of people. I'm not ready for any of this. I think I'll just give up relationships. Their too akward to me. I feel like a little kid, cause when I was holding her hand, I was nervous. I think I'm going to tell her I'm not ready for anything just yet. I'm not the dating type of person, just a friend. Plus realtionships always end someway. I can't put anyone through that, I'm too nice. Tori if you're reading this please don't tell Syd. I want to tell her. I'm a whiney baby. D=
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Thursday, October 4, 2007

I just posted some fan-art. Uhm, Charlie the picture i drew of you is in there. ^^ Don't be too hard on my guys. Kay? Bai.
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Wednesday, October 3, 2007

I just watched Might Morphin Power Rangers. I haven't seen this movie since I was four. My life seems to be going a little better. Other than the fact that i am going to be asked out tomorrow. A friend of mine Syd (the one who has a crush on me) told another friend she wanted to ask me out or ask if I like her, something along the lines of that. I mean, I like the girl but really we've only just me. I told the friend who was s'posed to ask me, if she did ask me out, I'd say yes. I'm not sure if it was a mistake or a good thing. I'm really nervous. I mean, what if I do say yes and I regret it. I'm confused. Silent Lucidity (who's the other friend) let's just call her SL, said I needed to sort out my feelings about C (not sure if I should say her name). I don't think I'm ready for a relationship. I really like C, and I've told her, what if I do end up dating Syd but C ends up liking me. I can't do something like that to Syd. Ah! Who am I kidding, C likes me as a friend, and nothing more. I could only hope that she would even like me a little more. *sigh* I whine too much. I need a fruit roll up. Bai people...
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Tuesday, October 2, 2007

If you draw a picture of someone does that mean you are obsessed? I drew a picture of a friend and most everyone said I was obsessed. A couple of my friends stopped saying it, and I am so happy for that. What if you just really love someone, and they inspire you? Is it right to feel things for a person who doesn't have feelings for you, other than friendship? I sound really emo. I don't want to whine and cry about these things, but I need somewhere to put my thoughts. If I wrote them down, my dad would find them. This is the only site I'm on my dad doesn't know about. He has no concept of the word 'privacy'. And these are the days I wish I lived with my mom. Is it wrong of me to do that? To want to live with my dad one day, then my mom the other? *sigh* Something GOOD needs to happen to me. I want to give the picture (earlier talked about in this post) to the person as a present. Not that I can really 'give' it to her, but show it to her. *another sigh, only this time more emo-like* I'm going to go now. Bai. (OH! Hey on the music, skip the first Evanescence Missing, it doesn't work and it wouldn't delete off the thing)
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Monday, October 1, 2007

Two posts in one day...
Aren't you lucky? xD I'm feeling a bit better now. I was kinda depressed (not really if I think about it) about the whole friend likes me, but I like someone else thing. I heard this song on youtube and now I keep listening to it. I'm a geek but I think it's called Breathe You In by Thousand Foot Krutch. S'a good song. Well, really all I've been doing for the past half hour is look at people's pages and read posts. I have a really morbid look on life. I act like everyone is trying to get me. Most everybody else is happy with how their life is going. I'm really glad you all are happy. It makes me even more sad when my friends are sad. I've been told that I care too much about other people's feelings, rather than my own. Is that really bad? I want people to be happy. I guess I'm a good people person. I just try to make everyone proud of me. My dad, he is the person I want to make happy most of all. I always seem to disapoint him. I try, but when I do, I seem to get myself in more trouble. I try to be responsible, but when I do, he tells me I'm still a kid. Though when I act like a kid, he tells me to be responsible. I hate disapointing people, that's why i try so hard to be funny. I know it may sound weird, but when people laugh it makes me feel like I'm helping them. When i'm sad, I still try to make people laugh, hell I try to take my pain and turn it into a joke. I don't know how many people will read this, but if you do I want you to know don't ever be like me. Don't put everthing you have into trying to make people proud. Be who you are, don't try to be what they want you to be. I know it may sound cheesey, but please, if I can ask one favor, don't be like me. I have to go now, I hope you all have a great day tomorrow. Bai...
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Drama
As usual. It urks me how much drama is in high school. People talking about, "Oh my boyfriend gets jealous when I talk to so-and-so. He thinks I'm cheating!" I hate it! I found out today, one of my friends has a crush on someone I know very well. I kept on begging her to tell me. She told another of my friends and they both know. I felt left out! T.T Well I asked her at lunch (before she had to go back to class) who it was. She told me the name started with a B. I thought of everyone I knew whose name started with a B. (only one xDD) I had asked her earlier out of pure joking...ness if it was me, she said no. Well after she told me what the name started with she said, "What does your name start with." It starts with a B. I told her she had said no to me. She then said "Well I said no about a lot of people." I'm still confused. If she does like me...I don't know what i'll do. I already like someone else. I know that there may never be a chance between me and this other person, but I want to keep my hopes up. *sigh* Drama...
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