Thursday, July 1, 2010

   probably my last post for a while
So, since I am going back to MN for a whole month I probably will not be coming on here as much. of course I will still try to complete my contest that I have joined, but if I do not, then I don't. I will be pretty busy with everyone and everything. Then when I come back I will have only a short while before school starts, then I will hardly ever....EVER be on. So if you really want to keep in contact with me add me on facebook I guess? If you want to, just comment on this I guess....

So yesterday I went to a birthday party, it was fun. We went to a hotel and swam at the pool. Then today I went home and took a long nap. Now it is 1:38 in the morning and I am packing. Getting ready to leave for home later on today. I really want to see everyone, but what if they have changed? What if they think I am different? What if I let them all down? It frightens me. I've always been afraid to be myself, even a little bit, but I think I've been getting better. At least I hope so.

Everyone expects so much of me. I feel like I am being stretched out in every direction. I am so sick of it, but I don't know what to do. I keep worrying I will make a mistake. Then I will fall. It is just so hard. It feels like I am losing myself more and more each day. I'm breaking down a lot more too. Yeah I know you probably do not want to hear this, but I need to let if out somehow. I really don't like talking to people I know about this stuff. And I don't think they notice, because I am one of those people who try to act like everything is okay, even when it is not. Is this the right thing to do? I don't know anymore. I really need help it seems.

Anyways, enough of me feeling sorry for myself. I bet it gets boring to listen to. So Eclipse came out last night. It makes me laugh, thinking about those major fans, screaming and drooling over everything. I cannot wait till all of the movies are over with... then No more!!! It is probably going to be like this with Harry Potter though too. *sigh* So my friend said this in a FB status... "you know what? if an alien wanted to effectively wipe out the human race, all they would have to do is bomb every movie theatre in the world at midnight, because that would destroy approximately 98% of the female population who probably wouldn't even notice it because they'd be too busy looking at Taylor Lautner's abbs. and the 2% of the female population remaining either probably can't read or they don't care."
I would be the part to not care. which part would you be?

I really should get back to packing. This post was just made to rant and explain why I might not be on here as often. So goodbye? I guess? I don't even know



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