>Subject: 88 Ways to Know If You're Chinese - funny, please enjoy >Date: Fri, 5 Nov 2004 23:23:13 +1030 > > > > > > > > > > >Subject: 88 Ways to Know If You're Chinese - > > > funny, please enjoy > > > > > > > >88 Ways to Know If You're Chinese > > > > > > > > > >1. You look like you are 18. > > > > > > > > > >2. You like to eat chicken feet. > > > > > > > > >3. You suck on fish heads and fish fins. > > > > > > > > > >4. You have a Chinese knick-knack hanging on > > > your rear view mirror. > > > > > > > > > >5. You sing karaoke. > > > > > > > > > >6. Your house is covered with tile. > > > > > > > > > >7. Your kitchen is covered by a sticky film of grease. > > > > > > > > > >8. Your stove is covered with aluminum foil. > > > > > > > > > >9. You leave the plastic covers on your > > > remote control. > > > > > > > > > >10. You've never kissed your mom or dad. > > > > > > > > > >11. You've never hugged your mom or dad. > > > > > > > > > >12. Your unassisted vision is worse than > > > 20/500. > > > > > > > > > > > > > >13. You wear contacts, to avoid wearing your > > > "coke > > > > > > >bottle glasses". > > > > > > > > > > > > > >14. You've worn glasses since you were in > > > fifth grade. > > > > > > > > > > > > > >15. Your hair sticks up when you wake up. > > > > > > > > > > > > > >16. You'll haggle over something that is not > > > > > > >negotiable. > > > > > > > > > > > > > >17. You love to use coupons. > > > > > > > > > > > > > >18. You drive around looking for the cheapest > > > petrol. > > > > > > > > > > > > > >19. You drive around for hours looking for > > > the best > > > > > > >parking space. > > > > > > > > > > > > > >20. You take showers at night. > > > > > > > > > > > > > >21. You avoid the non-free snacks in hotel > > > rooms. > > > > > > > > > > > > > >22. You don't mind squeezing 20 people into > > > one motel > > > > > > >room. > > > > > > > > > > > > > >23. Most girls have more body hair than you, > > > if you > > > > > > >are male. > > > > > > > > > > > > > >24. You tap the table when someone pours tea > > > for you. > > > > > > > > > > > > > >25. You say "Aiya!" and "Wah!" frequently. > > > > > > > > > > > > > >26. You don't want to wear your seatbelt > > > because it is > > > > > > >uncomfortable. > > > > > > > > > > > > > >27. You love Las Vegas, slot machines, and > > > blackjack. > > > > > > > > > > > > > >28. You unwrap Christmas gifts very > > > carefully, so you > > > > > > >can reuse the paper. > > > > > > > > > > > > > >29. You only buy Christmas cards after > > > Christmas, when > > > > > > >they are 50% off. > > > > > > > > > > > > > >30. You have a vinyl tablecloth on your > > > kitchen table. > > > > > > > > > > > > > >31. You spit bones and other food scraps on > > > the table. > > > > > > >That's why you need the vinyl tablecloth. > > > > > > > > > > > > > >32. You have stuff in the freezer since the > > > beginning > > > > > > >of time. > > > > > > > > > > > > > >33. You use the dishwasher as a dish rack. > > > > > > > > > > > > > >34. You have never used your dishwasher. > > > > > > > > > > > > > >35. You keep a Thermos of hot water available > > > at all > > > > > > >times. > > > > > > > > > > > > > >36. You eat all meals in the kitchen. > > > > > > > > > > > > > >37. You save grocery bags, tin foil, and tin > > > > > > >containers. > > > > > > > > > > > > > >38. You have a piano in your living room. > > > > > > > > > > > > > >39. You pick your teeth at the dinner table > > > (but you > > > > > > >cover your mouth). > > > > > > > > > > > > > >40. You twirl your pen around your fingers. > > > > > > > > > > > > > >41. You hate to waste food. > > > > > > > > > > > > > >42. You have Tupperware in your fridge with > > > three > > > > > > >bites of rice or one leftover chicken wing. > > > > > > > > > > > > > >43. You don't own any real Tupperware - only > > > a > > > > > > >cupboard full of used but carefully rinsed > > > margarine > > > > > > >tubs, takeout containers, and jam jars. > > > > > > > > > > > > > >44. You also use the jam jars as drinking > > > glasses. > > > > > > > > > > > > > >45. You have a collection of miniature > > > shampoo > > > > > > >bottles that you take every time you stay in > > > a hotel. > > > > > > > > > > > > > >46. You carry a stash of your own food > > > whenever > > > > > > >you travel (travel means any car ride longer > > > than 15 > > > > > > >minutes). These snacks arealways dried and > > > include > > > > > > >dried plums, mango, ginger, and squid. > > > > > > > > > > > > > >47. You wash your rice at least 2-3 times > > > before > > > > > > >cooking it. > > > > > > > > > > > > > >48. Your dad thinks he can fix everything > > > himself. > > > > > > > > > > > > > >49. The dashboard of your Honda is covered by > > > hundreds > > > > > > >of small toys. > > > > > > > > > > > > > >50. You don't use measuring cups. > > > > > > > > > > > > > >51. You beat eggs with chopsticks. > > > > > > > > > > > > > >52. You have a teacup with a cover on it. > > > > > > > > > > > > > >53. You always look phone numbers up in the > > > phone > > > > > > >book, since calling information (*69) costs > > > 50 cents. > > > > > > > > > > > > > >54. You only make long distance calls after > > > 11pm. > > > > > > > > > > > > > >55. If you are male, you clap at something > > > funny > > > > > > >and if you are female, you giggle whilst > > > placing a > > > > > > >hand over your mouth. > > > > > > > > > > > > > >56. You like Chinese films in their original > > > undubbed > > > > > > >versions. > > > > > > > > > > > > > >57. You love Chinese Martial Arts films. > > > > > > > > > > > > > >58. You've learnt some form of martial arts. > > > > > > > > > > > > > >59. Shaolin actually means something to you. > > > > > > > > > > > > > >60. You like congee with thousand-year-old > > > eggs. > > > > > > > > > > > > > >61. You prefer your shrimp with the heads and > > > legs > > > > > > >still attached. > > > > > > > > > > > > > >62. You never call your parents just to say > > > hi. > > > > > > > > > > > > > >63. If you don't live at home, when your > > > parents > > > > > > >call,they ask if you've eaten, even if it's > > > midnight. > > > > > > > > > > > > > >64. When you're sick, your parents tell you > > > not to > > > > > > >eat fried foods or baked goods due to yeet > > > hay. > > > > > > > > > > > > > >65. You know what yeet hay is. > > > > > > > > > > > > > >66. You e-mail your Chinese friends at work, > > > even > > > > > > >though you only 10 feet apart. > > > > > > > > > > > > > >67. You use a face cloth. > > > > > > > > > > > > > >68. You starve yourself before going to all > > > you can > > > > > > >eat places. > > > > > > > > > > > > > >69. You know someone who can get you a good > > > deal on > > > > > > >jewelry or electronics. > > > > > > > > > > > > > >70. You save your old Coke bottle glasses > > > even though > > > > > > >you're never going to use them again. > > > > > > > > > > > > > >71. You own your own meat cleaver and sharpen > > > it. > > > > > > > > > > > > > >72. Your toothpaste tubes are all squeezed > > > paper-thin. > > > > > > > > > > > > > >73. You know what moon cakes are. > > > > > > > > > > > > > >74. When there is a sale on toilet paper, you > > > buy 100 > > > > > > >rolls and store them in your closet or in the > > > bedroom > > > > > > >of an adult child who has moved out. > > > > > > > > > > > > > >75. Your parents know how to launch nasal > > > projectiles. > > > > > > > > > > > > > >76. You iron your own shirts. > > > > > > > > > > > > > >77. You play a musical instrument. > > > > > > > > > > > > > >78. Even if you're totally full, if someone > > > says > > > > > > >they're going to throw away the leftovers on > > > the > > > > > > >table, you'll finish them. > > > > > > > > > > > > > >79. You've eaten a red bean popsicle. > > > > > > > > > > > > > >80. You bring oranges (or other produce) with > > > you > > > > > > >as a gift when you visit people's homes. > > > > > > > > > > > > > >81. You fight over who pays the dinner bill. > > > > > > > > > > > > > >82. You majored in something practical like > > > > > > >engineering, medicine or law. > > > > > > > > > > > > > >83. You live with your parents and you are 30 > > > years > > > > > > >old (and they prefer it that way). Or if > > > you're > > > > > > >married and 30 years old, you live in the > > > apartment > > > > > > >next door to your parents, or at least in the > > > same > > > > > > >neighborhood. > > > > > > > > > > > > > >84. You don't tip more than 10% at a > > > restaurant, and > > > > > > >if you do, you tip Chinese delivery > > > guys/waiters more. > > > > > > > > > > > > > >85. You have acquired a taste for bitter > > > melon. > > > > > > > > > > > > > >86. You eat every last grain of rice in your > > > bowl, > > > > > > >but don't eat the last piece of food on the > > > table. > > > > > > > > > > > > > >87. You know why there are 88 reasons. > > > > > > > > > > > > > >88. You see the truth in this and then send > > > it to all > > > > > > >your Chinese friends. > > > |
