Monday, November 19, 2007

Falling On - Finger Eleven You've got to find your balance You've got to realize You've got to try to find what's right before your eyes And if you find you've fallen And all your grace is gone Just scream for me and I'll be what you're falling on

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Sunday, November 18, 2007

even after i stop talking to someone to get away from the drama, it still follows me. i can't get away from it. i mean even after a month of it passing its still haunting me. and i guess it is all my fault, but thats ok, its my fault that i couldn't take the fact that i was always getting cut down, and its my fault that everytime i liked something, and that person didn't, it was crap. its all my fault, but at least i can admit it, and at least i can try to let it go. i thought long and hard about even posting this, b/c i didn't want to seem like it bothered me but i'll admit it does, i'm only human. the person decided to delete his entry from my guestbook, and its not even like i deleted him from my friends list. so its only natural that i delete mine from his. This is the last time i will ever mention it b/c i am truly sick of all the drama, and i just feel like i have to explain myself b/c yes it does bother me. i've decided i need a vacation, and i am thinking about going to the beach this christmas break, to the house of blues and see some bands, to just get away, b/c i really need a break, i'm about to lose it. i also posted two picture today. one has showed up, but i dunno when the other one will show up.

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You Judged Me? Hosted By theOtaku.com. so i tried coloring with photoshop ^_^ theres my finished product, go vote and tell me what you think!

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Saturday, November 17, 2007

I had a awesome day! ^_^ Me, Amanda, Stormy and Token went to mall and got some chick-n-minis, which were awesome, and got some manga! then we went to the movies and to stormy's house. At stormy's house we got the black guy (token) to dance to that song "stayin alive" it was hilarious, my face and tummy was hurting i was laughing so much. oh and i'm listening to Scatman's World by Scatman John, its a totally rad song!

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Friday, November 16, 2007

i got 8 comments to my oscar mayer weiner song. lol people respond to randomness more i think. i shall have to be random more often. ^_^ so the little doll i made of myself ealier i made one of my boyfriend, no he does not have a forehead that big, but i couldn't find any other hair that suited him. hes a grease monkey, with long hair and a fuzzy face. sorry he looks so clean cut in the doll, but i mean, that doll of me lookings nothing like me. i got the idea from Ae- that it would be cool to draw the dolls, like make them, then draw them, and i suck at creativity, so it'd be perfect. now the ultimate problem, i need time!

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Thursday, November 15, 2007

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Oh, I'm glad I'm not an Oscar Mayer wiener. That is what I'd never want to be. Cause if I were an Oscar Mayer wiener. There would soon be nothing left of me!

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Wednesday, November 14, 2007

no one listens to me. they read something without really reading it, making assumption that i mean something that i don't. does that make any sense? i try to get closer to my friends, and i end up ruining everything, so i believe i am better off being a loner. i mean when someone refuses to really listen to me, what else can i do? it annoys me when they don't listen to me, and still go on doing whatever it is i was talking about, oblivious to any solution i gave them. i believe that i used to be stupid. i'll admit it. i never payed attention, when doing an assignment i didn't know what to do b/c i didn't pay attention. i was too scared to actually ask for the directions from the teacher so i usually sat there being stupid. i hated reading, it would never hold my attention long enough. but i got so fed up with being like that, never knowing what was going on and i decided to change. i did, i payed attention, and i was amazed at the change. i started reading, and i picked up all kinds of knowledge. i'm not smart now, but i believe i at least have common sense. i see my friends now, and i know they see themselves as being stupid, but i believe that stupidity is brought about on yourself b/c i believe that i was able to over come it. i try to help, i try to do everything i can for them, but they won't listen, they won't believe me, they just keep on acting like i never said anything. i feel as if i have ran out of options, i can't take helping them anymore when they don't seem to want to help themselves. i know that lately i have been blunt and have even stopped speaking to some of my friends, i can't take it anymore. and i am not saying that my friends are stupid. no, some of them i have stopped talking to b/c they don't seem to know who they are, and what they are pretending to be annoys me. the fact that they try so hard to be that something, and then they cut me down b/c i make one mistake on pronouncing something, i believe to take the light off them so that their flaws don't show through. the fact that if i enjoy something and they hate it, they cut me down for it. they think the world revolves around them and what they want they get no matter if anyone else wants something different. i am not speaking to only one person, in fact i am speaking to a few. but each thing is mingling together and each start at the same thing. i can't take the the acts anymore. i'm not asking anyone to really change, just to realize things. sorry for the rant.

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please don't shoot me for this >.< i don't usually listen to rap at all, but i heard this song today, and it just made me think about how i am always saying and what not, so i am putting the lyrics here. Akon - Sorry, Blame it On Me. i bolded the parts that reminded me of my life the most. As life goes on I'm starting to learn more and more about responsibility I realize everything I do is affecting the people around me So I want to take this time out and apologize for things I have done And things that have not occurred yet And the things they don't want to take responsibility for I'm sorry for the times I left you home I was on the road and you were alone I'm sorry for the times that I had to go I'm sorry for the fact that I did not know That you were sitting home just wishing we Could go back to when it was just you and me I'm sorry for the times I would neglect I'm sorry for the times I disrespect I'm sorry for the wrong things that I've done I'm sorry I'm not always there for my son I'm sorry for the fact that I am not aware That you can't sleep at night when I am not there Because I am in the streets like everyday Sorry for the things that I did not say Like how you are the best thing in my world And how I am so proud to call you my girl [Bridge] I understand that there are some problems And I am not too blind to know All the pain you kept inside you Even though you might not show If I can apologize for being wrong Then it's just a shame on me I'll be the reason for your pain and you can put the blame on me [Chorus] You can put the blame on me Said you can put the blame on me You can put the blame on me Sorry for the things that he put you through And all the times you didn't know what to do Sorry that you had to go and sell those packs Just trying to stay busy till you heard from Dad And you would rather be home with all your kids As one big family with love and bliss And even though Pops treated us like kings He got a second wife and you didn't agree He got up and left you there all alone I'm sorry that you had to do it on your own I'm sorry that I went and added to your grief I'm sorry that your son was once a thief I'm sorry that I grew up way too fast I wish I would've listened and not be so bad I'm sorry your life turned out this way I'm sorry the FEDS came and took me away [Bridge] I'm sorry that it took so long to see They were dead wrong trying to put it on me I'm sorry that it took so long to speak But I was on tour with Gwen Stefani I'm sorry for the hand that she was dealt For the embarrassment that she felt Just a little young girl trying to have fun Her daddy should never let her out that young I'm sorry for Club Zen getting shut down I hope they manage better next time around How was I to know she was underage in a 21 and older club they say Why doesn't anybody wanna take blame verizon out back disgracing my name I'm just a singer trying to entertain Because I love my fans I'll take that blame Even though the blame's on you I'll take that blame from you And you can put that blame on me You can put that blame on me And you can put that blame on me

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Tuesday, November 13, 2007

i want to write about something positive, not negative likes its been being. but at the moment, the only positive thing i can think of is the fact that me and some friends are going to see beowulf friday after school ^_^ basically b/c its extra credit. but yeah thats about it. so many people seem to be making me mad lately b/c of their slackness.

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