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no one listens to me. they read something without really reading it, making assumption that i mean something that i don't. does that make any sense? i try to get closer to my friends, and i end up ruining everything, so i believe i am better off being a loner. i mean when someone refuses to really listen to me, what else can i do? it annoys me when they don't listen to me, and still go on doing whatever it is i was talking about, oblivious to any solution i gave them.
i believe that i used to be stupid. i'll admit it. i never payed attention, when doing an assignment i didn't know what to do b/c i didn't pay attention. i was too scared to actually ask for the directions from the teacher so i usually sat there being stupid. i hated reading, it would never hold my attention long enough. but i got so fed up with being like that, never knowing what was going on and i decided to change. i did, i payed attention, and i was amazed at the change. i started reading, and i picked up all kinds of knowledge. i'm not smart now, but i believe i at least have common sense. i see my friends now, and i know they see themselves as being stupid, but i believe that stupidity is brought about on yourself b/c i believe that i was able to over come it. i try to help, i try to do everything i can for them, but they won't listen, they won't believe me, they just keep on acting like i never said anything.
i feel as if i have ran out of options, i can't take helping them anymore when they don't seem to want to help themselves. i know that lately i have been blunt and have even stopped speaking to some of my friends, i can't take it anymore. and i am not saying that my friends are stupid. no, some of them i have stopped talking to b/c they don't seem to know who they are, and what they are pretending to be annoys me. the fact that they try so hard to be that something, and then they cut me down b/c i make one mistake on pronouncing something, i believe to take the light off them so that their flaws don't show through. the fact that if i enjoy something and they hate it, they cut me down for it. they think the world revolves around them and what they want they get no matter if anyone else wants something different.
i am not speaking to only one person, in fact i am speaking to a few. but each thing is mingling together and each start at the same thing. i can't take the the acts anymore. i'm not asking anyone to really change, just to realize things.
sorry for the rant.
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