Tuesday, January 23, 2007

Ride ze shoopuff?
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A word or two on a cloudy day
(I don't tbink I look like Rachel Adams, but it's good to know someone thinks I look like a beautiful actress.)

Okay. So. This is where I begin today as a rain cloud has obscured the sun. Jason kissed me twice yesterday, taking what normally would have been a fake-out joke, as he usually does, all the way, leaving moisture on my lips, and he wouldn’t look at me afterwards. He wouldn’t let me go. We painted together in art and he said, in the middle of a conversation about how mean he was being to me, that he would marry me if, and I missed why, I didn’t want to hear. And I worry as to whether this was serious.

Angela is making non-stop plans with me. We were talking about that movie “Epic Movie” and I said, “Yeah. I’d like to see that.” Angela said almost immediately, “Do you want to try to see that this weekend?” I said, “Sure.” She said, “I didn’t think you’d want to see a movie with me again after the first time.” And the first time was when she said, “Yeah. We’re going to go make out in the movies.” Of course we didn’t, but she made me wonder whether she was really serious or not.

I don’t know. My friendship with Angela is strange. Sure. She’s my “wife” and we’re close to being all buddy-buddy, but there’s this strange tension between us, like we’re the same poles of a magnet. I want to be close to her; yet, I feel she wants to be closer. And maybe I want her closer because she protects me and cares for me. But I don’t want there to be any lesbianism between us. Not that I’m against that. I’m just straight. I can’t speak for her.

Collin brought me a burger from Burger King. It needed mayo, but I gladly accepted it. My fast is finally over, but a new one starts this week. Tomorrow. I need to work on self-control and discipline. I’m still weak by the measure of my last fast. It was tough on me, but I made it.

The president is having his address tonight. The state of the union address. I, along with other members of SaveDarfur.org, sent him an email on just that, asking him to address Sudan and the Darfur region in his speech. Hopefully, he will.

I sent a forward of the email form to Jon, Caleb, and Alex. I could only choose five to send it to, but those are the three I know are more likely to respond and take action.

I’ve decided that I’ll concentrate in world history in college. I’ve already declared my major in secondary education – history. I think this is a good step for me. I’ve also considered Peace Corps. I don’t think it’s an option now, at this current moment, but I’d like to volunteer for them at least once before I die.

I watched “The Last Samurai” for the sixth or seventh time today. I cried during the last twenty minutes. I always do. Every time I watch that movie, I cry. And I wonder why we have to fight. That’s when I get all hippie-like.

My favorite artist right now is from Pakistan.

-Susan


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Monday, January 22, 2007

The latest from Senegal.
Hello or good evening Susan.Cela does two days that jai not recu your message and jignore the raisons.cest parceque I am the one that you n awaited not or parceque you are absente?je you required sil would be possible davoir a reponse the more rapidement,jen would be reconnaissant.a tres bientot and jespere than I would see you dear demain.ma Susan,si I could you voire,te parler,faire of this relation one of the more cherchées.je taime again and tattends tjrs.ton dear friend wats
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Friday, January 19, 2007

   I've just decided that subject bars make things lokk nicer.
Yep. I'm going to Angela's house tomorrow. That's going to be fun.

And I've been trying to change the music, but I haven't found the right song yet. So, until then it's going to be Maps. Crazy Maps.

"Wait. They don't love you like I love you." Yes, Caleb. Wait. *snicker* Klar. Das ist, was ich versuchte, erstens zu sagen.

;) I love ya'll.

(And I don't know why all the apostrophes in my posts magically turned to question marks. That was NOT me, guys.)


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   Yes, they really do make things look nicer.
Okay. I was thinking of sending him a picture of this girl I thought was really pretty and I was going to draw. That's what I'm going to do.

Hey! I'm glad to see comments again. I didn't see any yesterday and I was worried everyone was on holiday again.

Everyone wants to hang out with me. Angela wants me over to her house, Alex wants to go out on Sunday, and Jessica wants to come to my house again. Yay.

I'm boring today. Sorry.

-Susan

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Thursday, January 18, 2007

   Ergh.
I have a stalker in Senegal named Watara. He sent me his picture and says he wants my picture, and I'm like, "This is the last thing I need right now."

This is what he said, that I got an online translator to translate for me: "Thanks for re-laid mavoir and I ten thank immensely. Jespere that we shall arrive there. I tenvoie my foto and jattends your foto. Jaimerais that we reach a day has concretiser this union. I am senegalais and jaimerais that this corespondance is a premiere in this capital of nations. I wish what finds you in an etat very good of santé®­a chere susanne, me mappelle dramane watara."

I don't know what to do. I wish I could translate everyword. Then maybe it wouldn't be so scary.

-Susan

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Wednesday, January 17, 2007

Vergraben Sie mich mit ihm durch Bescheidene Maus
Gute Nachrichten f?te, die schlechte Nachrichten lieben. Wir haben die Handlung und verloren, den wir nur nicht w䨬en k?n. Wir sind Kolibris, die nur nicht bereit sind, zu bewegen. Und es gibt gute Nachrichten f?te, die schlechte Nachrichten lieben. Wir sind Kolibris, die die Handlung und verloren haben, den wir nicht bewegen werden. Wir haben gute Nachrichten f?endjemand, der schlechte Nachrichten liebt.
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Der erste Posten, nie der letzte Posten.
Good morning, my darlings!

I?ve found odeo.com and it is glorious? much like myself, the ever famous.

Why is it so incredibly cold in Nashville? Why?

The next time I see him, I swear, I?m going to jump his sexy lack-of-ass and say, ?You?re still a bastard, however, I love you.?

In the wonderful world of email.
Susan: ?
Caleb: !

Ain?t that just adorable? Maybe I?m the only one? Heather, I?m sure you?re laughing your ass off. I love you, too, and I?m sure you?re the only one who gets the ?lack-of-ass? joke. Remember that? Ha ha? Maybe? And if Becca?s reading, I?m sure you get that one, too. Don?t you?

Oh man, you guys should have heard his voice. And our conversations on the phone were so cute. We were both stuttering through our sentences. It was funny because he knew I needed a ride, yet he still asked, ?Um, so, do you need me to come get you?? And when he called the day he came home, he was talking about driving down here and then there was a break in the conversation and he said, ?So, um, well, would you like to get together from some coffee, Susan?? Well, um, duh! That?s why you called, wasn?t it? Isn?t that just adorable though? And I so would have! I was all set to! And I?m going to in the future. He said I?d be the FIRST person he called when he came back into town ?soon.?

I love him more than words can describe, more than 9th grade even, if that?s possible. I don?t even care whether he loves me or not (even though God and everyone else knows he does!).

And is it sad that I only have to write ?him? and everyone automatically knows whom I?m talking about?

Anyway, back to reality. I received Delphine?s Christmas card today (a weekend after I received her letter). It doubles as a New Year?s card, and, I know the irony that it got here so late, but, hey, it had to travel from Belgium to France, then overseas on a plane to America, and sit through long holiday breaks at the post office. I still haven?t heard from Mona. She?s probably being lazy like I was last time I wrote her.

I?ve sort of made a little monument/shrine to my granddaddy. I have all these pictures and mementos in the corner of my nightstand. I think it started the day he died when I moved the framed picture of him and my grandma from the bookcase to the nightstand. I just started putting everything with his picture on it over there and things that he?d given me, or that had some connection to him. All I?m missing right now is a white tea candle.

God, I miss him so much. I really do.

And there are so many things I can say to describe him, but none of you will understand what it means. And that?s okay. Our relationship was one that took a lot of time and patience to develop, just like the jokes and references.

There?s this line from Memoirs of a Geisha that I told my mom after the funeral. ?There is a poem written at the shrine called ?Loss.? It only has three words, but the poet has scratched them out. You cannot read ?Loss?, only feel it.? Do you get it? I think it?s very clever, and that?s what Sayuri (then Chiyo) said after she found out her parents were dead.

BLAH BLAH BLAH! Enough sadness! I?m supposed to be a happy chibi this week! Okay, so, we?re doing this project in art and we have to find these full-page pictures in magazines to use. So, Angela was flipping through one and she said, ?Oh, Susan. You?re going to love this.? She held it up and it was, on both pages, David Borneaz and Orlando Bloom. I made an angry chibi face and said, ?Oh, that?s just wonderful! That just makes my whole day just? peachy.? I don?t like Orlando Bloom and I HATE David Borneaz. *Wrinkles face and sticks tongue out*

SNOW!

-Susan, who is listening to ?Telling Lies? by David Bowie, and thinks of calling her autobiography that, merely for the irony (since it?s incredibly hard for me to tell a lie)



P.S. to mocha-chan: Hey, yeah. Dudley Moore and Peter Cook are the shit.

I have almost all the Yeah Yeah Yeah's albums. I think I'm only missing one... hmmmm. Have you ever listened to "Fever to Tell"? That one's WAY better than "Show Your Bones".

"Cos this is no modern romance."

And yes, I'm incredibly in love with Caleb. It started out as a huge crush, but it's evolved over the years.
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Tuesday, January 16, 2007

   HEATHER!!!!!
YES! I tried! He called me and said he'd pick me up at 8, but MY GRANDDADDY DIED, remember?

It's going to happen. It's going to happen soon. We're going to have another chance to go out on a date, and, I swear, if something happens, I'm going to cry.

And my mom actually wanted to have him over at the house. What?! I know!That could've been bad.

-SUSAN, bitches
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   WHOO!
Thanks to my dad’s Japanese phrase book, I learned that Nana means seven. And Hachi means eight. Soooooo, that makes sense, as to why Nana Osaki wants to call Nana Komatsu Hachi in “NANA.” It’s taken me almost a year to figure this out. Sadness.

So, anyway, YAH!

I’m wearing my scarf, gloves, and hat today. They semi-match (mostly shades of pink) and I love it because I bought the scarf awhile ago at Old Navy and Lisa bought me the hat and gloves while she was out yesterday (I think at Kmart) because I was talking about wanting a hat and gloves to match! (I’ll probably have a picture up tomorrow as my avatar.)

He won’t get out of my head. I try to push him out, but the second I do, something reminds me of him. Is this bad? Do I need psychological help? Am I just being an idiot, or a girl in love?

Everyone and there mother knows it’s love. Well, maybe with the exception of my own mother. Even Lisa, my sister, knew. I remember when I was talking about hanging out with him and she was like, “Ooh!” and started using a sing-song voice. And I’d never talked to her about my feelings for him.

So, yeah. It’s like the Ryan Adams song. “Everybody knows the way I walk, and knows the way I talk, and knows the way I feel about you.”

Okay. Enough about that. Lisa and I have decided upon further review of our life goals that we’re going to marry English men, somewhere along the lines of Dudley Moore (me) and Peter Cook(Lisa). If you’ve never seen “Beyond the Fringe” or “Bedazzled,” you should, like, right now.

Bwah!

I’m leaving the country.

-Susan, who decided that her life would have been different had she ever learned English.

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