Thursday, February 1, 2007

Something Special?
Caleb Correspondance:

S: God. You're so difficult. Hey, can I ask you a question?
C:Im sorry you think I'm difficult. Yes, ask away.
S:I don't know. You're not really difficult, but I can't find the word I want to use... I have a problem. If I ask you what I want to ask you, I'm afraid I won't hear from you for months.


And you all know what I want to ask him, right?

I think I want things to stay like they are. Unless Jason says anything or asks me out, I'm not going to persue a relationship.

Heather- Yeah. I need to get my ass up there. Or he needs to get his ass down here. Either one. We could live quite happily in Cookville, I think (where I'll be for college).

Then I'd cook for him. And he'd tell me fascinating stories about the past three years in Canada, and how the whole time he wanted so badly to sweep down here and take me away.

Or it'll be like, "Fuck no." "Well, fuck you." "Fine."

Ha ha ha ha.

It didn't snow and that really pisses me off. That's the first thing I said today. Dad came to wake me up and he said we didn't get enough snow and we had to go to school and I said, "I hate everything." Then I rolled over and tried to go back to sleep. I got up around 5:50AM and put on Tom Waits to make me feel better.

It worked. But I'm still pissed.

-Susan

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Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Neda asked me if Jason and I are going out. I don't know, seriously, and it bothers me. It's kind of like if I say yes, I'm lying, and if I say no I'm lying. The way he acts around me and the way we act together is like we're dating, but we're not boyfriend and girlfriend. It's weird.

So, Neda. I don't know. I really don't.

Anyway, I wish I had more paella. I made some a couple of days ago and ate the last of it yesterday. It's so good. You have to try it.

God I hope we get a snow day tomorrow. I really, REALLY do. I need a day of rest BAD. I've been crashing all day.

-Susan

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Tuesday, January 30, 2007

We will kiss, we will laugh
we will be a part
of what is said to be
a union of the heart


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BLAH
Today's a boring day, after page entry yesterday.

Go watch "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind."

I read some crap comic today. It was really shit, but I thought I'd save it some diginity.

My mom says that if Grandma is going to move in with us we'd have to get another house. I don't know what's going to happen, but thanks for the support.

-Susan

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Monday, January 29, 2007

Another LOOOOONG post, sorry.
My dad’s going to be out today and tomorrow so I have to get a ride home from my former AP US History teacher. That’s going to be interesting. I love her. She’s great teacher and wonderful person, but it’s going to be different than my usual routine.

I’ve got a situation on my hands, well, not singularly my situation, but I am involved. Read and comment on what you think we should do. This all came up when I spent the weekend at her house. My cousin has been staying with my grandma during the week. He still is, but there’s a problem that’s come up. He’s been hanging around a lot of “thugs” and kids that do marijuana, and we know now that my cousin has smoked with them (because he told us he did). Okay, so what’s the problem? Well, if he’s going to be doing drugs, he can’t stay with Grandma.

It’s just this. If my cousin comes home to her house high and something happens to where he gets upset, he could seriously hurt her. She’s in her mid 80s, in a wheelchair, and a diabetic, so that’s a serious and dangerous scenario.

We’re considering having Grandma move in with us, but we’re not sure which room we’d give up for her. I know my room is the only bedroom big enough for her needs, even thought I’ve only been in it for less than a year and am deeply in love with it. I brought this up to Mom. She said I was going to have my room until I left for college, guaranteed, and I said, “Well, if he keeps this up, we might not have until then.” And every time I started talking about it, I kept starting to cry. I had to leave the room a couple of times just so mom wouldn’t see me crying and get upset herself.

Tell me what you think. Don’t be shy. Anything helps.

Oh, any my other situation, this one’s less serious, just a bit funny. Mr. D was out Weds. – Fri. so we didn’t do anything on Friday in Art IV. I had finished my painting, so I didn’t have anything to do. Collin brought Saw III, so we watched that. I felt like vomiting. I can’t stand to watch torture. But, anyway, Jason was all clingy and cuddly to me. He put his arm over my shoulder and was messing with my ear (just a bit weird). And he kept doing this thing where he’d bring his lips really close to mine like he was going to kiss me and then he’d turn away with a sad sound. I’d ask, “What? What do you want me to do? Kiss you?” And he wouldn’t say anything. Once, though, he did kiss me. It was a prolonged, held kiss, and it was so weird. I was like, “What the hell is he doing?” Collin said, “Ya’ll two need to go out, seriously.” And Jason said, arm still around me, lacing his fingers with mine, “No we don’t. We tried it. It doesn’t work out.” I shook my head, agreeing, and thought to myself, “It was your fault it didn’t work out. You dumped me for the slut Mollie because she used her slut powers to steal you from me. That slut.” And that’s a true story. Stupid slut.

Then class was over and I gave Angela a hug. She kissed me on the cheek and said, “Bye, honey.” She also did that the day before. She said if she were going to the prom she’d go in a tuxedo. I think I’m going to ask her if she wants to go to the prom with me (as friends, you losers). Heather, I doubt Caleb will be around for you to force him to take me. Remember when you said that? “I’m going to kidnap Caleb and force his bitch ass to take you to prom, okay?” Lol. I don’t know if those were your exact words, but it was something to that nature.

Wrote too much again. Entschuldigung.

Auf Wiedersehen - Susan

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Friday, January 26, 2007

Have a nice weekend. I'll be back on Monday.

Love, Susan

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First of all, it's a HE, and second of all, I'm not sure what the fuck he's speaking. It's like half-French, not Spanish.

Anyway... Poor Jess. She's become emo, I assume? This might be a problem.

Angela is standing over my shoulder right now. Ha ha.

I'm hungry, but I don't have any food.

Oh, and Beck, that girl who's site it is did the fan art. Rio? I guess that's her "real name". Anyway, I was throughly disappointed with them. It would have been better if they actually looked like him.

Grrr.

-Susan

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Thursday, January 25, 2007

A tiny note and more from Senegal
AFI is the worst band in the world. Their lead singer is such a fruit. Who agrees?


jai bien re絠ton message que jai aim頢cp.cela me reconforte de joie ,jen suis content.je cherche a correspondre avec toi pour avoir des relaions serieuses et sinceres.cette union ou recontre ne doit etre victime daucune erosion,elle doit etre un point de depart pour une nouvelle vie.je notifie au passage que ta personne minteresse et jaimerais que cette rencontre soit un moyen dapprochement.je suis senegalais et je suis celibataire et je voudrais en toute franchise trouver une personne qui puisse me donner force pour une vie paisible et tranquille.jai pas encore ta foto et je lattends toujours avec plaisir.est ce que tu es fianc饿je mexcuse et je te demande de me pardonner.a bientot,ton ami qui pense a toi.salut a toute ta famille,tes amis et tous tes semblables.watara
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Wednesday, January 24, 2007

Oh, you stupid, stupid emo kid.
So what if he's still attractive?

If only he'd cheer up, then I would love him again.

(P.S. Go here to see fan art. Ergh. I can't even begin to comment on them.)



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It?s Be Your Own Muse Week, Cancerian.
(It was Nerd Day yesterday at school, and I felt my sweater would be perceived as nerdy.)
Susan: I was going to wear it yesterday, but it was dirty. It doesn?t look nerdy, does it?
Angela: It looks British. That?s a bit nerdy here, I guess.
Susan: Yeah. It?s my fake rugby sweater. I love it. You?re going to be seeing a lot more of it.



My horoscope this week is perfect. Please read it carefully. Take in every word, especially you two, Heather and Becca.

?It?s Be Your Own Muse Week, Cancerian. How should you observe this festival? Here?s one suggestion. First, visualize in detail your dream lover? you ideal soul mate? the embodiment of everything you find attractive. Second, imagine that though this person feels the same way about you, there is a very good reason why the two of you can?t make love or be together as a couple for a long time. Next, feel the sweet torment of your unquenched longing for each other, the impossible ache of fiery tenderness. Finally, picture all the ways you will work on yourself in the coming years to refine your soul and perfect your love, so that when the two of you can finally be united, you will gave made yourself into a gorgeous genius ? a pure blessing and exquisite gift for your beloved.?

(WOW! Could that be any more perfect? Amazing! Rob Brezney is the ultimate horoscope genius. Thank you Nashville Scene!)

Then it is true. What I believed was true of my relationship with him really is what?s happening. Brezney just put it into words for me. And it?s good that I read this. I wasn?t going to, but I thought, what the hey, and did anyway.

This means I shouldn?t send him that two-part email consisting of ?Can I ask you a very serious question, and will you answer it as soon as you get it?? and ?Do you love me?? I want to so badly, but I feel this would just cause him to go on his five month hiatus from emailing me, as every other serious topic does.

For example:
S: Alex sent me a picture of you.
C: Why would Alex send you a picture of me?
S: Because he thinks I?m still on about you?
C: On about me?
S: He thinks I still like you.

AND THEN there was a FIVE MONTH period of time in which he didn?t email me. It wasn?t until I emailed him asking him if he had forgotten about me that he started again, and with ?I?m sorry. I didn?t mean to stop emailing you. I could never forget about you.?

Men.

YES! YES! YES! BUSH JUST ADDRESSED DARFUR! MY EMAIL WORKED! YES! YES! YES!

Sorry. That makes me feel incredibly good about taking part in that email (and I?m typing this as I?m watching the address; I the morning after I write). That was like a ?your team just won the super bowl? moment. Thank you, SaveDarfur.com. I?m proud to be a member of that community.

Mr. D told Jason keep his hands to himself, meaning get off me. I felt relieved. Mr. D is my favorite.

ANYWAY! I?m over my one page limit. Sorry. *bows*

-Susan? wearing her hair down, muttering to self in German, and smiling softly

Jede Sekunde jeden Tag, machen Sie eine Entscheidung, die Ihr Leben 䮤ern kann.
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