Wednesday, January 17, 2007

Der erste Posten, nie der letzte Posten.
Good morning, my darlings!

I?ve found odeo.com and it is glorious? much like myself, the ever famous.

Why is it so incredibly cold in Nashville? Why?

The next time I see him, I swear, I?m going to jump his sexy lack-of-ass and say, ?You?re still a bastard, however, I love you.?

In the wonderful world of email.
Susan: ?
Caleb: !

Ain?t that just adorable? Maybe I?m the only one? Heather, I?m sure you?re laughing your ass off. I love you, too, and I?m sure you?re the only one who gets the ?lack-of-ass? joke. Remember that? Ha ha? Maybe? And if Becca?s reading, I?m sure you get that one, too. Don?t you?

Oh man, you guys should have heard his voice. And our conversations on the phone were so cute. We were both stuttering through our sentences. It was funny because he knew I needed a ride, yet he still asked, ?Um, so, do you need me to come get you?? And when he called the day he came home, he was talking about driving down here and then there was a break in the conversation and he said, ?So, um, well, would you like to get together from some coffee, Susan?? Well, um, duh! That?s why you called, wasn?t it? Isn?t that just adorable though? And I so would have! I was all set to! And I?m going to in the future. He said I?d be the FIRST person he called when he came back into town ?soon.?

I love him more than words can describe, more than 9th grade even, if that?s possible. I don?t even care whether he loves me or not (even though God and everyone else knows he does!).

And is it sad that I only have to write ?him? and everyone automatically knows whom I?m talking about?

Anyway, back to reality. I received Delphine?s Christmas card today (a weekend after I received her letter). It doubles as a New Year?s card, and, I know the irony that it got here so late, but, hey, it had to travel from Belgium to France, then overseas on a plane to America, and sit through long holiday breaks at the post office. I still haven?t heard from Mona. She?s probably being lazy like I was last time I wrote her.

I?ve sort of made a little monument/shrine to my granddaddy. I have all these pictures and mementos in the corner of my nightstand. I think it started the day he died when I moved the framed picture of him and my grandma from the bookcase to the nightstand. I just started putting everything with his picture on it over there and things that he?d given me, or that had some connection to him. All I?m missing right now is a white tea candle.

God, I miss him so much. I really do.

And there are so many things I can say to describe him, but none of you will understand what it means. And that?s okay. Our relationship was one that took a lot of time and patience to develop, just like the jokes and references.

There?s this line from Memoirs of a Geisha that I told my mom after the funeral. ?There is a poem written at the shrine called ?Loss.? It only has three words, but the poet has scratched them out. You cannot read ?Loss?, only feel it.? Do you get it? I think it?s very clever, and that?s what Sayuri (then Chiyo) said after she found out her parents were dead.

BLAH BLAH BLAH! Enough sadness! I?m supposed to be a happy chibi this week! Okay, so, we?re doing this project in art and we have to find these full-page pictures in magazines to use. So, Angela was flipping through one and she said, ?Oh, Susan. You?re going to love this.? She held it up and it was, on both pages, David Borneaz and Orlando Bloom. I made an angry chibi face and said, ?Oh, that?s just wonderful! That just makes my whole day just? peachy.? I don?t like Orlando Bloom and I HATE David Borneaz. *Wrinkles face and sticks tongue out*

SNOW!

-Susan, who is listening to ?Telling Lies? by David Bowie, and thinks of calling her autobiography that, merely for the irony (since it?s incredibly hard for me to tell a lie)



P.S. to mocha-chan: Hey, yeah. Dudley Moore and Peter Cook are the shit.

I have almost all the Yeah Yeah Yeah's albums. I think I'm only missing one... hmmmm. Have you ever listened to "Fever to Tell"? That one's WAY better than "Show Your Bones".

"Cos this is no modern romance."

And yes, I'm incredibly in love with Caleb. It started out as a huge crush, but it's evolved over the years.
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