Tuesday, January 23, 2007

A word or two on a cloudy day
(I don't tbink I look like Rachel Adams, but it's good to know someone thinks I look like a beautiful actress.)

Okay. So. This is where I begin today as a rain cloud has obscured the sun. Jason kissed me twice yesterday, taking what normally would have been a fake-out joke, as he usually does, all the way, leaving moisture on my lips, and he wouldn’t look at me afterwards. He wouldn’t let me go. We painted together in art and he said, in the middle of a conversation about how mean he was being to me, that he would marry me if, and I missed why, I didn’t want to hear. And I worry as to whether this was serious.

Angela is making non-stop plans with me. We were talking about that movie “Epic Movie” and I said, “Yeah. I’d like to see that.” Angela said almost immediately, “Do you want to try to see that this weekend?” I said, “Sure.” She said, “I didn’t think you’d want to see a movie with me again after the first time.” And the first time was when she said, “Yeah. We’re going to go make out in the movies.” Of course we didn’t, but she made me wonder whether she was really serious or not.

I don’t know. My friendship with Angela is strange. Sure. She’s my “wife” and we’re close to being all buddy-buddy, but there’s this strange tension between us, like we’re the same poles of a magnet. I want to be close to her; yet, I feel she wants to be closer. And maybe I want her closer because she protects me and cares for me. But I don’t want there to be any lesbianism between us. Not that I’m against that. I’m just straight. I can’t speak for her.

Collin brought me a burger from Burger King. It needed mayo, but I gladly accepted it. My fast is finally over, but a new one starts this week. Tomorrow. I need to work on self-control and discipline. I’m still weak by the measure of my last fast. It was tough on me, but I made it.

The president is having his address tonight. The state of the union address. I, along with other members of SaveDarfur.org, sent him an email on just that, asking him to address Sudan and the Darfur region in his speech. Hopefully, he will.

I sent a forward of the email form to Jon, Caleb, and Alex. I could only choose five to send it to, but those are the three I know are more likely to respond and take action.

I’ve decided that I’ll concentrate in world history in college. I’ve already declared my major in secondary education – history. I think this is a good step for me. I’ve also considered Peace Corps. I don’t think it’s an option now, at this current moment, but I’d like to volunteer for them at least once before I die.

I watched “The Last Samurai” for the sixth or seventh time today. I cried during the last twenty minutes. I always do. Every time I watch that movie, I cry. And I wonder why we have to fight. That’s when I get all hippie-like.

My favorite artist right now is from Pakistan.

-Susan


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