Friday, February 23, 2007

Religious Jibber-Jabber
I’m already going to warn you that this is going to be shit-long. BUT it’s worth the read I think, so please give it all some attention. (And read the post below it too!)

Okay. So, Yahoo! Questions is a godsend. I love it. I asked about what people thought I should do about Jason (most said he just wants to be a fuck buddy, others said he isn’t sure what to do, one said I should ask him or talk to him about it). I think I’m going with the last one. I’m going to just flat out ask him, “Why don’t you just ask me out, Jason?” Flatly. For honest.

Also, as my topic heading states, I asked about religion. I am so religiously mixed up. I’ve been binging on Christianity forever, on again off again for years, and I want something that I can fall into and one that believes in everything I believe in. That’s why it’s so hard when people ask what I am, religiously. I either say, “Christian based” or “I’m a hybrid… I pick and choose.” I don’t like to say the last one a lot.

This guy, a yogi in Montana, of all people, gave me a link to this website, belief-o-matic.com I think. It told me I was most likely a Quaker. WTF? Not really. The next on the list was a Buddhist. That one makes more sense to me. I’ve always liked the religion, it’s principles and the whole meditation to reach enlightenment. And reincarnation. Deffinately. And I believe in herbal remedies above conventional medicines.

Then there was this guy who’s one of those über Christian PRAISE JESUS bastards. He was like, “You can’t say you were raised Christian. You were raised in a home with Christians, maybe, but if you’re going to say you don’t believe in everything Christian, you aren’t one.” And then he went on to bullshit about how you have to be this and this and that and blah-de-fucking-blah-blah, and it really pissed me off. I hate when people try to shove that shit down your throat. REPENT! Yeah, you do that.

More than one person told me to seek Allah and Islam. Could you imagine me a Muslim?

This one guy was great. Absolutely smashing. He said “Don’t let anyone tell you that you can’t combine religions.” I wish I knew who he was. I would give him a hug.

I’m the kind of girl who wears a cross and a Bastet charm at the same time while reading “The Way of Life” by Lao Tzu. I have a dream catcher hanging above my head next to a tiny wooden cross my history teacher brought back from Israel. Candles and incense. A statue of Buddha next to a picture of Jesus.

I’m too international to be bound to a single style. I’m an American who can’t stop thinking about being somewhere else. My life isn’t conventional. It’ll just get worse in that department once I’m on my own. I’ll date guys from New Age stores, marry a foreigner with an alternative lifestyle, and live in a different country every three years.

This July, I’m going to do a lot of changing. I can feel it in the area just below my heart. Less than a month from my birthday, I’ll be in college. And, you have no idea how happy I’ll be then.

I’m going to prom with a girl (Angela) in a suit! (Angela: God, and my mom already thinks that I’m a lesbian!) And we’re going to buy our tickets as a couple just so we can save money.

S: I bought a dress yesterday that may be my prom dress.
A: Does it match my suit?
S: *thinks* It’s black… halter top… it has little sparkly things on it… Yeeeeeah.
A: We’re going to have to dance together at the prom. *gets into a lead dancing position*
S: We don’t know how to dance.
A: You’re right.
S: * Turns, putting her cheek to Angela’s* We could tango.
A: *laughs as they tango for a hot second* Right. The music will be totally off. Like it’s playing some normal song.
S: We could have headphones on playing the tango song? * hand on hip*
A: Then we’d look like dumbasses.
S: We’re two straight girls going to prom together, you’re going to be the one in the suit, I’m in a dress and I’m 2 inches taller than you, and you’re worried about us looking like dumbasses dancing the tango?
*both laugh*


Love from the area next to the area just beneath my heart,
-SUSAN,

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