Thursday, June 21, 2007

   Happyness is Happiness with a Y

I just got a new flash drive, so it’s back to longer, more intimate posts. Lucky you. But the problem is, I have absolutely nothing to say. I guess I’ll just have to ramble some, huh?

Well, let’s start with current events. I’m going in for a job interview tomorrow (or Thursday, since you’ll get this after I write it) (Update: I didn't get the job, but I might be a cashier there within a week. I'm thinking of applying again at Old Navy and then killing myself. Update: I would never kill myself). It’s for Bass Pro, which is not really my kind of store. I have never been hunting in my life and the thought of killing a living animal like that makes me a little sick. Yet, even so, I’m not a vegetarian. I guess because I don’t have to see the animal die. I don’t know. I was considering becoming one once. I think I’m cutting out pork. Going kosher, I guess, even though I’m not Jewish.

I don’t really know what I am. The only real family religion that’s present is Christianity, and even then it’s not as strong as it could be. That’s the one thing that bothers me about myself. I don’t have a religion that I can claim as my own. It’s like, there are certain things that I believe and then there are certain things that I don’t. And I’ve yet to find a religion that fills all of those. Another thing is I don’t like to be told what I am and what I should believe in. Maybe that’s why I find so many Christian groups offensive.

I guess I’m single again, though it’s kind of weird. My boyfriend took me off his myspace (I just deleted him) and stopped calling. Really, to be honest, I’m relieved. I wanted him to break up with me, so I wouldn’t have to do it. I know that sounds horrible, but he wasn’t the kind of guy I wanted to spend forever with. I knew when it got to be April that I wasn’t going to stay with him over the summer, that I wasn’t going into college with a boyfriend. I mean, college is where you find yourself and I don’t need emotional baggage going into it. Another thing, I just wasn’t really happy with him. He was kind of annoying me. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I really care about him because we’ve been friends for a long time, but he just…. Grrr! I didn’t want to kiss him, I didn’t want to hold his hand, I didn’t want people to know I was with him because, what the hell, I was still looking when I was with him! That’s terrible, I know, but I know I can do better, and I deserve better than him, too. Ha ha. I’m not mad at all about him “breaking up” with me, or whatever happened. Seriously. I know I sound like that.

I guess I’ve said too much. If you get to this point and were expecting more, I’m sorry. I’m tired, and I have to go to sleep… Because I’m tired. Lol.

Best wishes,
Susan

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