Thursday, July 19, 2007

“And I’m beginning to like you. It’s a shame. What a lame way to live.” - TWS


Please read in its entirety. I really need some serious feedback on this one, okay? PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE READ ALL OF IT! (I know it’s long, but you’ll be doing me a big favor!)

I’ve known Andrew Clement for two days now, and it’s damn near breaking my heart already. Lisa dislikes him. She says he’s always flirting with everyone (all the girls, that is, which he kind of is), that he talked about some underage girl or something, and that he’s not a good guy. I like him. I really do. I did when we first met each other in the break room, when I was asking him where to put the shelving unit I had just brought back there and Kristin introduced us.

I don’t care if he flirts with everyone… really… although I wish he didn’t sometimes. And, I don’t know. It’s kind of weird. I feel like I’ve known him a lot longer than two, going on three, days. And I know that if Lisa doesn’t like him, there’s no way I’m going to be able to try and get closer to him… I wonder if I should just give up this early and call it what it is. But, this could be something really great… I don’t know… I feel like that White Stripes song. The following excerpt from “A Martyr for My Love for You”:

“I could stay awhile, but, sooner or later, I’ll break your smile. And I can tell a joke, but one of these days, I’m bound to choke. And we might start to kiss, but I feel like I can’t go through with this. And I bet we could build a home, but I know the right thing for me to do is to leave you alone. You’ll probably call me a fool, and say I’m doing exactly what a coward would do. And I’m beginning to like you. It’s a shame. What a lame way to live. What can I do? Well, I hope you appreciate what I do… I’m a martyr for my love for you.”

Please tell me what you think I should do.

-Susan

These quotes are placed here for your consideration. If you don’t want to read all of these, you don’t have to, but might help you paint a (blurry) image of what I’m dealing with here. (Some of these are really funny, or maybe only funny to me because you would have had to have been there.)

Kristin: “Have you met Susan?”
Andrew: “Not formally, no.”
Kristin: “Well, this is Susan.”
Andrew: *extends hand in handshake* “Hi, I’m Andrew.”
Susan: *shakes hand* “And I’m Susan.”
Andrew: “Cool. A lot of people confuse me with Will.”
Susan: “Well, you do have a W in your name… That could possible throw some people.”
Andrew: *laughs* “You’re right.”

Susan: “I was at the Chinese place today and I thought about you. There’s this food there. Happy Family. I was like, ‘Ten-thousand happiness!’ And no one got it. I was like, ‘This is funny! It’s an inside joke, and it’s funny!’”
Andrew: *laughs* “Wow. We’ve known each other for, like, one day and we already have an inside joke.”

Susan: “You broke my heart.”
Andrew: “I think we have some super glue around here somewhere.”
Susan: “For what?”
Andrew: “To fix that heart I broke… or maybe some duct tape…” *laughs*

Andrew: *has just said one of those “Your mom!” lines* “I’m just kidding. Seriously, though, don’t take anything I say like that seriously.”
Susan: “And what if I do?”
Andrew: “Then, I’ll probably regret saying it.”

Susan: “Yay. You came back to help me fold shirts. I feel so special.”
Andrew: “Aw. I made you feel special. I did something right.” Pause. “Does that mean you’re easy to please?”
Susan: *semi-disappointedly looks at him*
Andrew: “Oh, great. I, like, totally undid the specialness, right?”

Susan: “Okay. That’s it. I’m leaving. I’m going to the back of main street (part of Old Navy’s layout), and I’m taking this cart with me.”
Andrew: “Good. Then I won’t have to pay cart support.”

Andrew and Susan: *talking about something similar*
Aleisha: Wow, Andrew finally found somebody who likes the same weird shit he likes.

Susan: *has just said one of her signature phrases*
Andrew: *laughing* “That’s really odd.”
Susan: “What? Are you saying I’m all obscure now?”
Andrew: *still laughing* “No, I just like the way you say things, like the words you use… That was cool.”

*Moments later*
Susan: *holding three pairs of green boxers* “These boxers are green… why are they green?”
Andrew: *laughs* “What are they supposed to be? *imitates Susan* ‘Why are they green?’”
Susan: “What?”
Andrew: “No, that’s just really funny… That’s great.”

Andrew: “It was kind of cool because my initials are ABC.”
Susan: “Let me guess your middle name.”
Andrew: “Good luck.”
Susan: “B… Brian?”
Andrew: “No.”
Susan: “Ben?”
Andrew: “… Freakishly close.”
Susan: “… Bern?”
Andrew: “Burn?”
Susan: “Yeah, like B-E-R-N, like Bernard.”
Andrew: “I would die if my middle name was Bernard. But Bern kinda fits my pyro tendencies.”
Susan: “I like Bern. It’s a cool name, really. Okay, give me a clue. Second letter.”
Andrew: “E.”
Susan: “Ben…. Third letter.”
Andrew: “N.”
Susan: “Ben! I mean, c’mon! Okay, third letter.”
Andrew: “J.”
Susan: “… Benjamin.”
Andrew: “Yeah. That’s why I was like you were so freakishly close with the Ben. I thought the J was going to throw you.”
Susan: “No, I had a guy in a story I was writing named Benjamin.”
Andrew: “Let me guess. You called him Ben for short.”
Susan: “No. Benji.”
Andrew: “Oh.”
Susan: “I really like that name.”


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