Wednesday, April 5, 2006

   Listen up!
Open comment (you know who you are ;) ): I'm aware that "Memoirs" is fictional. I'm going to read the other book as soon as I have the time. God. That Mizuage stuff was messed up, huh? I think that was the most degrading part of the whole story, for women at least.



Baron and I went to “marriage counseling” yesterday. Paige was our counselor. It was hilarious. We had to name five things that annoy us about each other and five things that remind us of each other. Then we had a pretend argument that was so funny we were cracking up while we were having it.

Then I found an earring on the floor and I said, “Here. I found you a present.” Baron looked at it and said, “Whose is that?” Bethany spoke up and said “Mine.” Then Baron gave me this look and said “What the hell is her earring doing in our house?” I stuttered and then Bethany said “I was sleeping with Susan in your bed.” Baron did this fake blow-up and said, “I knew it! You’re cheating on me! You’re sleeping with Bethany!” I said, “No! She was drunk! I woke up and she was there!” A pause. “Where were you?” “I was working!”

Anyway, I thought I was wearing one pair of pants yesterday, these kind of faded Jordache jeans, right? Well, I thought they fit a little differently and throughout the day I was wondering if I was slimming up a little (which I am, thanks to an awesome fitness and diet plan I created two weeks ago). And then I looked at the cuffs of the jeans and they weren’t frayed. Well, that was the give-away. So, yeah, I just thought it was funny.

I think I want to live a few years in a foreign country when I’m out of college. I think I’ll go to Germany. It’s the one I know most about and my name is German for “small rocks” and my father’s great-great-great-great grandparents came here from Frankfurt. Plus, one of my best friends, Mona, is in Germany and says I should come visit her. I really want to. I might also go to Taiwan, because Melanie says I have to visit her someday. I definitely will. She’s an amazingly cool person and I will most likely cry my eyes out when she goes back home.

“She pressed her lips against a white piece of paper, and that was all that I needed. Then I saw what she wrote (“My heart is in my mouth”), and that was all that I needed.” –The White Stripes. The funny thing about this lyric: Rita Heyworth actually signed for a fan with this. How amazing is that?

I had an “argument” with Lisa about who we love more: Jack White or Jack Black. Well, obviously, I said Jack White. She really likes Jack Black though and I had to convince her that I liked them equally. Then we laughed about it and talked about our favorite White Stripes songs. We hit most of the albums, I think. We might have left out De Stijl.

I love Jack White like a little brother. (Again, if you aren’t a White Stripes fan, this won’t be funny, so hurry up and become one.)

Support local rock. All citizens of Nashville should know who the Pink Spiders are and what WRVU is. If you don’t, you can’t call yourself a true hipster. Point blank.

And for heaven’s sake, if you aren’t from Tennessee and have this morbid idea that all Tennesseans and Southerners for that matter have a super wack country accent and talk like this: “I’m fruhm Ten-a-say” you’re gravely mistaken.

I suffer from foreign accent syndrome. Baron says I sound like a German when I talk. I take it as a compliment. And I’m not doing it on purpose! I just have this speech impediment sometimes where my words slur or come out sounding foreign. But, hey, it’s obviously cool because Bethany told me to never change.

Yay. I’m cool.

-Susan

P.S. Jai, before we became friends, said that she used to think I was one of the German kids we exchanged last year (my school gets like 50 Germans for a few weeks each year). I just shrugged and said, “Ich kann ihm nicht helfen.”

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