Friday, January 7, 2005

hi! lol haven't posted in awhile ^^; i was helping some online friends dealing with some probs they have for the last few weeks so yeh ^^ i love helping them lol, a chance to forget my own worries for awhile

nothing much been happenin really... dont start school until the 31st of January so i have alot of time to talk on MSN lol
well i went out yesterday lol... went to the Plaza which is like your american malls i guess... we watched a movie that would have been released ages ago there lol... "A Series of Unfortunate Events"... not very good but nyeh O_<
afterwards Shellz Cindy and i went round to all the mens clothing shops and tried on the clothes... we nearly got kicked out a coupla times.... lol it was funny as ^^

then Shellz Richard Eddie and i played ToD most the night, well day for Richard lol that was so funny... considering how Richard kept trying to hit on Shellz... now i think of it... all my guy online friends seem to try and hit on her lol...

hope youse are all well and had a good new years!!

Real Pain

I found out what real pain is today
it is where your heart leaves you body and glides away
it is where you stare at a wall and wished you could go back in time
it is where you wish you could erase a memory from your tired mind.

Now I know the reason why we hate it all
it is because we have to try so hard to get up from a fall
it is because it isn't always about smiles but also the tears of pain
it is because of the all the cold knowledge we have to grow up and gain.

No more is it about the color of the yellow sun or the blue sky
it is about the reason we are born and then someday have to die
it is about the reason we love and sometimes will always have to hate
it is about the reason we always think about ours lives long living fate.

I used to think that everything was meant to be
but just recently the sky have cleared enough for me to see
lately everything happened at once and will never go away
because it burned a memory in my flesh in the most painfullest way.

My bones shake within every breath I take
I wonder why this world has to be everything but fake
I wonder why this world has to be everything but a dream
I wonder why this world has to be so damn extreme.

Darkness is all that forms inside my head
every time I think of the ones that I love that are dead
every time I wake up and realize that yesterday was real
I hurt inside and I am uncontrollable with the emotions that I feel.

Out bursting tears compared to a fires flame
insane pictures that flash my mind within every person name
depressing times that we will always have to live
unspoken words that we will once regret that we didn't give

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