Sunday, January 30, 2005

Me!

What Tenchi Muyo Girl Are You?
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Sunday, January 16, 2005

I don't know why, i don't know when or how? But every since I started watching Fushigi Yugi I have been thinking well anyone be able love me like Tamhome was able to love Miaka or am I able to love anyone as much as Miaka loves Tamhome? What am I saying anyways they are just characters in maga books and DVDs. But just think of it. Would anyone able to love each other as much as they love each other? I don't know. I shouldn't be thinking about these things anyways. I have 2 finals left and I really am so tired. I stayed up like 3am to watching almost all of the Fushigi Yugi DVD that my sis borrowed from her friend! I am seriouly in a dizzy mood. I am so tired.

Oh yeah, tomorrow my uncle and this guy are going to fix the heater and the boiler. So I have to clean somethings and help out. GRRR...so many things to move and stuff. Darn it! I hate everything in the house! Seriously! I am so tired of everything. Life is harsh! I also have to study too. Thank goodness it is a three day weekend! I am so meek right now! ahhhhh!


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Saturday, January 1, 2005

   what happen?
i think kurtis don't like me anymore. He just sign off when he saw me on-line everytime now. Kurtis if u are reading this say something!
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Friday, December 31, 2004

   Why!
Shoot man! My uncle and aunts are thinking of selling the house! My mom, sis, and I don't own the house. They do! I wish my father is here. We live with his family after he died. Now they are thinking of selling the house! I don't know what to do. If my father was here I know things will be better. But now my sis have to work and go to college. I hope she could hadle it! She is becoming a doctor. She have a schlorship! I am so finish with this family. I wish I am adult. I promise I will be someone I will be sucessful and I will know what to do. My mom and sis would not be dependent on them! I swear! I promise to my papa, mama, and sis. I will become a scientist or a business woman. I will be sucessful on my own grave! I will be someone! I really miss u Papa! Times like these I wish you are here! Times like these I could still see ur face and your voice. I wish you are here to make it all better. I just want to sit and cry! Just cry! But it will not slove anything. Action will. I wil be someone. I am finished with them and I am finshed with being so dependent on ppl. I will not be anymore! I am so Finished with Them! The thing is we are going to have a family dinner tomorrow and I hope I could control my anger against them. I swear I will scream at them! I swear! I hate the stupid world. I want to explain it better but I can't and i want to write everything but I can't. But I don't care. But I swear I will be someone and independent! I promise.
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Wednesday, December 29, 2004

   Yay
you are not mad at me! cool! I am so happy!
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Tuesday, December 28, 2004

   I am so sorry!
Are you mad at me? If you are mad at me for not being on line yesterday please forgive me please! I would understand if you don't. You must be mad at me becasue you sign off without saying Good-bey to me. Pleas don't be mad. I had to wake up early to go to see my dentist. I fell asleep when I came home because I was too tired and I didn't realized that I feel asleep until I woke up at 10am. I am so sorry. Are you angry at me, do u still want to speak to me again? Please talk to me on-line.Please talk to me. Please. I can't stand you being mad at me. Kurtis please speak to me.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~love,SHAN
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Friday, December 24, 2004

   ay ay ay i haven't write so much have I
I really don't want to say anything to day. You should see my xanga. I work so much for it. But this site I am so tired to do anything. Heee heee. lol.
I had a bad day yesterday. My crush and I were in the same train. We talked but he fell asleep. I didn't wake him up because I didn't want to interrupt him at all. When his stop came and I woke him up. As he got up and went to the door I..I..I grabbed his hands quickly and told him to ride with me till West 4. He looked at me funny as if I was crazy and shook his head. ay not a good move is it. Darn it!
Well he will never know me and I will never know him. So I should give up! GRRR...the worst part is he likes some one. But I don't know who she is. OH well live stinks!

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Friday, August 13, 2004

   my mind
I messed up on the tests I took today. I think I got a 60 or 70 on both of math and english. For math I know how to do it but I didn't have enough time at all. I hate this. The more I tried to study for be perfect for my family I messed up. I Hate this. I abhor myself sometimes. They say that you have to love yourself to love others but i don't think that is ture. I hate myself but I still have a heart and I love my family and friends.

Who is Your Ideal Gravitation Guy?
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