Monday, September 19, 2005

   Things to do in an Elevator
Current mood: bored THINGS TO DO IN AN ELEVATOR... 1) When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder and then pretend it wasn't you. 2) Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more. 3) Ask if you can push the button for other people, but push the wrong ones. 4) Call the Psychic Hotline from your cell phone and ask if they know what floor you’re on. 5) Hold the doors open and say you’re waiting for a friend. After a while, let the doors close, and say, "Hi Greg. How's your day been?" 6) Drop a pen and wait until someone goes to pick it up, then scream, "That's mine!" 7) Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the elevator. 8) Move your desk into the elevator and whenever anyone gets on, ask if they have an appointment. 9) Lay down the twister mat and ask people if they would like to play. 10) Leave a box in the corner, and when someone gets on, ask them if they can hear ticking. 11) Pretend you are a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers. 12) Ask, "Did you feel that?" 13) Stand really close to someone, sniffing them occasionally. 14) When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay, don't panic, they open again!" 15) Swat at flies that don't exist. 16) Tell people that you can see their aura. 17) Call out, "Group Hug!" and then enforce it. 18) Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering, "Shut up, all of you, just shut up!" 19) Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside, ask, "Got enough air in there?" 20) Stand silently and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off. 21) Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce in horror, "Your one of THEM!" and back away slowly. 22) Wear a puppet on your hand and use it to talk to the other passengers. 23) Listen to the elevator walls with your stethoscope. 24) Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button. 25) Stare, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce, "I have new socks on". 26) Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers, "This is MY personal space."
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