Thursday, January 7, 2010

   Late Night Ramblings

Fri Jan 1, 2010, 11:36 PM

* Mood: Daily Needs
* Listening to: Disney Classical playlist
* Reading: The Club
* Watching: my screen
* Playing: Legend of Zelda: Phantom Hourglass
* Eating: nothing
* Drinking: coke

So, as I sit here, listening to my Disney Classical playlist…I cannot help the urge to write in my journal. But as my journal is three hours away at school, this will have to do for the moment. I do not even know what I wish to write about except that I have an urge to write…let’s see…

Well, I found out today that I apparently received a package at Brenau…in July. I randomly stumbled upon the Brenau email site and thought I’d try it out and low and behold…I have a package. Strange huh? I’m hoping I can still get it, but I highly doubt it. I got a letter a couple days ago from Brenau saying that they received my application, so I’m hoping they hurry up and accept me. I am ready to be rid of that horrid school…and city. How someone could live in Milledgeville is beyond me.

Uh….let’s see….I’m trying to think of things that have happened since I last wrote in my journal. I saw my Aunt Melony and Uncle Micheal on Christmas. We ate Christmas brunch with Grandmother and Grandfather and they were there. It was pretty nice. I also saw them a week or two before that when I was visiting them.

Oh…the big one…Nana died. I think it was December 21st. I went to see her the day before for a while, so I think God had a hand in pushing me to go see her. I also had a push to tell her I loved her…but I didn’t. I couldn’t do it. But now I kinda wish I’d said it just so she could have heard it before she died. I still didn’t know her that well, but there’s nothing to be done about it now. She is in a better place. She had another tumor on her neck and that’s what killed her. She was on oxygen for a few weeks before she died. The tumor made it difficult for her to talk and you could barely hear her when she did talk. Aunt Lynne was kinda upset because she yelled at her the day she died (while I was there visiting) but I told her not to worry about it, because in all reality she can’t do anything about it now. I went to the visitation and to the funeral for Alyssa and Chelsea’s sakes. I know what it’s like to be the only person under the age of 40 in a room full of people you don’t know.

Ugg…while we were there this really annoying guy named Devit (who was apparently one of Daddy’s best friends) came over to talk to me and although I ignored him the whole time, HE WOULDN’T TAKE A HINT! He kept wanting to talk about all the stuff he’d done with Daddy and how they’d done all this bad stuff. I merely said that I was sure that I’d done worse and continued to ignore him. Here, I’ll set the image for you so you can see how truly idiotic he was. I was sitting next to Chelsea on the couch and Alyssa was on the other side of her. When he came over and introduced himself and started talking, I looked down at my purse and started to clean the gunk off of Kumaguro. I never looked up at him once. I don’t know what Alyssa and Chelsea were doing but afterwards they said they didn’t like talking to him either. The stupidest part was where he said that he’d promised Daddy something on the day Robert was born and that he intended to keep his promise. He said he probably shouldn’t be telling me this but he’d promised Daddy he would take Robert to a strip club on his 18th bday. I told him good luck. I knew Robert will not go, at least not with him. He looked at me like I was stupid, but I think I replied by saying that I knew my brother a whole hell of a lot better than he did, which is an understatement. The funny part was, I think he was expecting me to be disgusted by his “;promise” like I was supposed to be some naïve virgin who doesn’t know anything. He didn’t’ impress me in the least. He kept bragging that he owned a bar, to which I wanted to say “whoop di do” but I held my tongue. FINALLY, after what seemed like forever, Aunt Patti called us over to meet someone else and we fell across the room to her to get away from him.

I did have a lot of fun hanging out with Alyssa and Chelsea though. At one point…I don’t remember what was going on but I said in a fake embarrassed voice “I don’t know you” to Chelsea and she replied and said “We’re related” in this really funny voice and we teased her about it for the rest of the night. I have a lot in common with them and I wish I’d been able to know them throughout my life. I have the most in common with Chelsea. She has also picked up and chubby gene and it is just starting to show, so I hope I can help her so that she doesn’t have to go through what I did.

OH! On a side note, my thyroid is FINALLY where it is supposed to be and I have started to lose weight. I am currently wearing jeans I haven’t been able to wear since the beginning of college. I am hoping I can get it to go down even further when I go back to the apartment.

But ok…back to the topic at hand…sort of. I forgot to say that after the visitation I told mom about Devit and she said she found him really annoying too. And fortunately he wasn’t at the funeral…or at least I don’t think he was. I went out with Grandpa to run his errands with him and to replace the flowers on Daddy’s grave and while we were out I told him about it and he said that he didn’t like Devit either. In fact, he said that Aunt Patti and Aunt Lynne got mad at him because he wouldn’t allow Devit to say something at Daddy’s funeral and I could understand. That guy didn’t impress me at all and Grandpa said if he’d allowed him to speak he would have probably said something inappropriate or sarcastic and you don’t need that at a funeral.

Speaking of funerals, David’s childhood best friend died at the beginning of this week from alcoholism, which is sad in and of itself. His liver failed and they couldn’t put him on a transplant list because he said he wouldn’t stop drinking even if they did, which I cannot for the life of me understand as he pretty much signed his own death sentence. Anyways, we went to his funeral on Wednesday and I hated it. First off, (oh since David was a pallbearer in this service it has made me think of something. They wanted Robert to be a pallbearer at Nana’s funeral and he said yes—I had to explain what it was—, but then the funeral home said that they would do it so Robert ended up not having to) the woman who was playing the piano sounded HORRIBLE! The piano playing was fine, but then she started singing…really country singing, you know where they apparently just HAVE to sing flat ALL THE TIME! And to make matters worse on one song, some old guy started singing with her and he sounded even worse than she did. But then the first preacher got up and I wished for the singing. Because he was a fool. First off he gets up there and the first thing he said was that he didn’t know what to say. And then he went off on a rant and you couldn’t hardly understand him he was talking…excuse me yelling so fast. He sounded like an auctioneer. And then at the end…it was like he just turned it off because he started to talk normal again. I looked at mom and we both had to try to hide our smiles at how stupid he looked, which isn’t something I should say about a preacher…but still. It was RIDICULOUS! Then this other guy gets up to preach and he sounded ok…he talked like Grandfather. But he said a lot of thing that I didn’t agree with. Like we are supposed to cry when a child is born and that the only reason you die is because of sin and that God punishes parents by punishing their children. He said a lot of other stuff I didn’t agree with…oh he kept quoting from Job, my favorite book in the Bible, but he called Job a prophet and he wasn’t. He was a regular guy whom God TESTED! So, when we got in the car, I was hesitant to say anything with David sitting there as I didn’t want to offend him. But he apparently didn’t like them either. The first thing he said was “If someone does that at my funeral please slap them.” He was referring to the fact that they didn’t mention Bryan (the guy who died) once during the entire service and I agree with him. To me that is the point of the funeral, to celebrate the person’s life. Not to perform a church service.

Oh, I forgot to mention something about Nana’s funeral. During the service, I sat with Momma instead of sitting with Aunt Patti and all them. Robert sat with them, but I wanted to show that my loyalty lies with Mom and that even though I may talk to them and hang out with them, she comes first. And I told mom as much. And I think I made the right choice. I especially wanted her there when I started crying. They played The Old Rugged Cross, and since it is Daddy’s favorite, it makes me cry almost every time I hear it. I was sitting by Chase during the service with Mom on the other side of him, but then when I started crying during the song they switched places and Mom held me. I felt bad that I was crying for Dad and not Nana, but I couldn’t help it. To kinda make things worse, I explained to everyone I saw that the reason I was crying was because that song was Daddy’s favorite.

Mom is making me a pea coat. It has been very tiresome, even for me. She’s making it completely out of stuff we have and we’ve had a lot of problems having enough cloth for everything. She already made me some pajamas. They have Garfield on them and he’s saying a bunch of funny things like “The early bird should have its head examined” and stuff like that.

I got a new Zelda game for the DS. It’s called Phantom Hourglass. It’s taking some getting used to as everything is controlled with the stylus. I originally didn’t think I’d like that…but the prospect of having a portable Zelda (I left my Wii in Milledgeville and was therefore Linkless at the time and I REALLY wanted to play Zelda) was too much to pass up. So, I got it and it seems ok, but like I said it is going to take some getting used to.

Uh…what else….there’s probably more. I haven’t updated in a while so there should be a ton.

So, unfortunately, even though I have had several AWESOME dreams the past couple of weeks…mainly the past week….I have been forgetting them too quickly for me to get them written down and it rather SUCKS! They were good ones. Oh well, I’m sure I will have more awesome dreams as it is one of the benefits of having an overactive imagination.

I believe I am going to go read. I was in the mood to read an erotica book a week or so ago and since all my unread books are in Milledgeville, I am rereading “The Club” as it is one of my favorites…of my Erotica anyways. I’ll probably read some fanfiction too as there is nothing quite like fanfiction and I do not think I will ever tire from reading/writing it.

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