Thursday, June 14, 2007

Yesterday

Life (Sorry I havent visited or anything, been stressed with school lately. Prolly won't be on here for another week or so) The last day of school was fun like some shit. and my ex boyfriend was playing guitar hero against like alot of kids and no one could beat him then he lost to our vice principle and that was funny as hell Going to mbp for the first time in a while to see some of my friends that have moved and everything. I think I'ma end up getting in a fight though. Cause if one of these girls say just one thing to me I'm probably gonna punch her. It's not of me to really fight cause I'm a pacifist but eh... shes just really annoying me. I don't really care about getting kicked out of mbp though, its boring there. Whats gonna suck though is my brother is going to be there. Ah well life goes on heh. Speaking of brothers, i get to visit my other brother in prison on saturday, he wants books.. like these vampire books from stephanie meyers and my friend wants me to read them too. Hmm that reminds me, Im thinkin of either creatin a final fantasy manga... gotit all planned I'ma go and listen to music, bye bye

Comments (4) | Permalink

Monday, June 4, 2007

Well hello

Life I broke my computer on either friday or saturday then my dad managed to fix it until sunday it began to make some clicking down and then said "system not found" totally busted but now we got a new computer thanks to my short temper and hitting stuff as a solution to all my problems :) I like think one, I have my own privacy on it, plus I can upload pics and stuff now cause my old computer was a 98 So I haven't really updated in a while So I visited my brother a while back, he ate my gum and you know what, prisons are strict, like hella strict We had to go to a walmart and by dad a pair of pants cause you cant wear shorts I had to put on my jacket in 90 degree weather cause I had a tank top on. So I'm asking dad why and he's like "it's revealing your breastises (however its spelled) so i jus say out loud I ain't got no breastises! I really can't wait til summer, I wanna go swimmin. Hahaha that reminds me, never wax your legs. Well if you don't have enough hair on your legs don't. I did and it rips the skin particles off your leg if your hair isnt long enough and now i got like dalmation styled bruises... lame. I feel like a little puppy Ah The bad part to a new computer is the fact that the keyboard and whole thing is in need of adjusting, i miss my old ghetto keyboard. Plus all my songs and my fanfic i was writing for Samurai champloo is gone, and it sounded good too, it was all literate. Especially my lost of music, I found the best jrock and kpop songs a few weeks ago, Like this song Soukon by Girugamesh, very awesome song, I love it It deleted my moi dix mois too, lame all my rap and other stuff too... crap which reminds me... found a really good like korean rap/r&b song, has some english in it though BoA sings in it too i think but i kept it on xanga so here I'm out, tschus! (sorry I cant use umlauts on that for anyone that speaks german)

Comments (1) | Permalink

Sunday, May 13, 2007

UGH!!!!!!!

Life I'm freaking sick of maryland Cause its a depressing hellhole with stupid people Tell me this, if one of your friends tried to kill themself wouldn't you want to know? My guidance counseler at school had told my dad and told him not to tell me because of some shit with my mom. And he acts all casual about it like it's not a big deal. Then my friend Brittany decides to tell me like 3 days after only because she had a little teenage drama crisis with it. It's one of my best friends, I deserve to know. But I ignored the signs, right after I had said something relative. I feel like an ass and an idiot. This year is crazy already, I can't wait til I'm old enough to leave.

Comments (3) | Permalink

Wednesday, May 2, 2007

Today

Life Today is May 2nd, marking another year that hide has been gone. A musician worthy of praise unlike so many others, had died at age 33. Facts About hide: He was known for his signature pink hair, which granted him the name "Pink Spider" His name is pronounced as hee-day, not the word that means to conceal. Aside from X Japan, hide played in bands including: Saver Tiger, Zilch, and hide with Spread Beaver He was involved with many medical foundations He was born in Yokosuka, Japan He lived from December 13, 1964 until May 2, 1998 It is normal to see hide lowercased as hide rather than "Hide" Many still wonder of hide's death- whether it was suicide or an accident He and X Japan pretty much began the visual kei revelution In honor of hide, there was a museum for him located in Yokosuka. Sadly, it had been closed down. Regardless, his memory still lives on hide also wrote songs and was a solo artist A good song to help along the way, Translated Lyrics: Say good bye just good bye to all your worries good bye Say good bye just good bye without fear of change good bye just walking aimlessly good bye to the treasures of exhausted days going on, the signposts the same as that first wind If you can't find a way the many winding roads shade your eyes from the sky Round & round feeling scared about an unknown land asking the tiny song Please songs tell me true no matter where I go your melody'll keep on playing someday again, even when I get lost on my own if I can hear it, I can walk on merrily. Say good bye just good bye without fear of gettin' hurt good bye let's throw away all the feelings that we can't hold in our hands. Please songs tell me true no matter where I go your melody'll keep on playing even if one day I lose my way if I can sing, I will walk on with grace A Documentary to Enlighten Those Who Are Unaware Long live Hideto Mastumoto, the most beautiful pink spider [/and no I'm not overdoing it]

Comments (0) | Permalink

Saturday, March 31, 2007

Some funny shit here

Life It's like hells freezing over. My mom finally left the guy she was dating and now has a job for the goverment. What's the big deal? He's the one who got my mom on crack. After like 7 years.. I think or I'm miscounting cause of my birthday Then I was looking around my friends on myspace and I see one of those pictures that are taken when they scan a pregnant womans stomach. Turns out when I went to look on there to see who it was it was Lucas' girlfriend who is pregnant. (by the way, Lucas is my stupid ex boyfriend) That's actually really disturbing, he was a bad boyfriend, I don't really think he'd be a good dad. Why do I think that? When I was dating him he was cheating and doing drugs, just recently has he confessed that he did coke when I was dating him. I doubt he's ready to devote time and sacrifice for the kid thats due in august. Also, my aunt finally cleaned her house up according to my mom. I asked her when the last time she cleaned her house was and she replied with, "When I was your age" and my moms 43 turning 44 in about 20 days. So for the time being my moms going to stay with her sister until she gets back on her feet Beginning to get ideas for a Naruto fanfic? Well I got my character done, have to work on my friends character. They're both in a clan called the "Junikyu" clan, which I derived from the Chinese Zodiac. Depending on the year they were born in, they will have certain traits of that animal. Of course I made some alterations, some members of the clan die in years of that animal rather than human years, unfortunate eh? Can't really go into it too far seeing how Naruto doesnt have real countries... bleh. But my character Aya's younger brother is a rabbit, he died when he was 9. Don't know whether I want my character to be that way or not, either way she'd die around 22 years, close to the tiger lifespan.. well not a tiger in the wild I think.. i forget now. I was either gonna have her die from Itachi or that, maybe both. Ah I don't feel like going into details... forget it -.- Just have to make up more people.... yes, why yes. But for now I need comfort food because of cramps, I'm going to walk up to a store and buy chocolate, later

Comments (0) | Permalink

Friday, March 23, 2007

Today

Life I read this, I was inspired to write this because of what has recently happened. Read it today in one of my classes, very very very nervous. I felt better though when people reacted positively to it. It has alot of spelling errors though and grammar, I'm too lazy to fix it. I hope those who read or listen to this do not misinterpret my words, even with my grammar errors. Those who hang out with me enough will probably hear me say, "You should look before you leap, but life is about taking chances. If you feel that what you're doing is right, then go for it. If it fails, then at least you learn a lesson and if someone else is in the same predicament then you can talk to them and help them better themselves." at least once. In some cases, this belief of mine is wrong. Sometimes the consequences have too big of an impact on everything else. You may learn something, but failing it may be incomparable. On March 22nd, my brother was sent to Jessup after being put in a prison in Baltimore since February. He will be in boot camp for an estimated three months, after that he will do two out of a ten year sentence. On that same day, his girlfriend was sentenced to five days in jail. My brother was arrested for stealing three guitars that were autographed by a musician. His girlfriend was an "accomplice". It probably took no more than ten minutes to steal those guitars, but the sentence was far longer. The same for his girlfriend. This will be a problem for the two for the rest of their lives, it will be difficult to get jobs or anything now. It took merely minutes to do the actions they did, but the consequences can last a lifetime. Also, there was a boy that my brother did the crime with I wish to include in this. He was once a friend of his, but that ended once betrayal was the last resort after getting caught. It's often that people never do any extreme crimes alone in fear of getting in all the trouble. There will always be that one person, a scapegoat, that the others will put all the blame on to reduce their punishment. While on the phone with someone, a boy said the N-word in the background (I will not say it because I strongly despise that word and not out of fear of sounding like a racist because I know I am not). He went to the house that the person was at and busted down the door, beating him with a studded belt, quite possible other things were done as well. Along with the assault charges for beating the boy and robbery, he is now facing 15 years in prison. Assault charges are usually about 6 years, do you think someone saying something is worth going to prison for 6 years? I don't. Regardless of whether it's a regular insult or a racial slur, it's moronic to fight over what someone says. I know it's wrong, I hate racism and prejudice strongly, but we don't live in a very accepting society even though this country is so diverse. It's disappointing. Still, even if you don't want someone pushing you around, don't start the fight for future reference. They are nothing compared to those that will push you around in jail or prison, and these are the ones you don't want to mess with. Even my brother who can fight wouldn't run his mouth off to someone that was in prison a week ago because not only was that guy bigger than him, but in a gang. When my brother first went to jail last year, he wanted to blame musicians like Tupac for his new attitude. No one is to blame but you, there is no "the devil made me do it" that doesn't work in the real world. You hold responsibility for yourself, not Tupac, not anyone but you. If you were to watch Tupac Resurrection, he said something similar to, "I got two days in jail for a problem that was only a couple minutes long" he realized what he shouldn't of done, even though it was too late afterwards. He was fortunate enough to get off so easily that time, others are a different story. Maybe some incidents aren't as bad. I know someone who had a child when they were in their teens. Do not be confused, I am not disappointed in her. I will not talk down to her because she had a child at that age. I'm actually proud of her, you have to be strong mentally and physically to go through that. I will not call her a slut, whore, or anything of the sort, no woman deserves that. What I can call her is a single mother who can look at her child and not see an image of the man that left her, but her offspring that she loves dearly. There are women in their late 20's who can barely take care of their children, I do not think age determines a good mother. But I do know that she wasn't ready to have a child, I really don't believe any teenager is ready to devote that much time yet, especially when we don't even devote half that time to schoolwork. We all make mistakes, but some are too hard to forgive or forget. The simplest thing is to think carefully and ask yourself , "Is what I'm doing worth it?" because the time it takes to do it does not always equal the outcome. Think of how it's effecting your loved ones too, it's cost nearly $10,000 so far just to pay for my brother's lawyer. We constantly think of how he's doing in prison. Within months I've lost ample amount of concentration for anything else but his well-being. It's had an impact on my grades too, failing math and possibly science from my thoughts drifting elsewhere. Other classes are just easy to begin with, they take no effort so I have no fear of failing them. -------------------------------------------- Aside from that, nothings really been happening lately. I'm pissed because of my mom, I was suppose to visit her tonight but she hasnt called me or anything. She recently got money, dad thinks shes out doing something else. But it's okay, I'll just go to Amanda's birthday party this weekend

Comments (0) | Permalink

Thursday, March 22, 2007

Adjusting is hard

Life I was scurrying around on youtube and found a childhood band that I loved. This song from them is actually good, featured in a FLCL AMV (down below the box a mabober). My brothers friend use to play in the band Downtown Singapore... had a really good first album where he wrote one of the songs "I'll walk you home" I will admit they do sound a little better now though. Just weird... my D-town has gotten known. But no more talk of that, I havent updated in a while My birthday was march 9th, I ate almost a whole cake and I feel like a glutton now heh. Got a zune for my birthday from dad, nothing from mom yet. Hopefully I'm going to visit her tomorrow, something tells me I wont though, how disappointing. I'm like failing math... I keep failing almost every test I take and it sucks.. and today I asked how to do something cause we have a test on monday, my teacher told me not to worry about it we'll go over it tomorrow... giving me only 1 day to learn it seeing how I'll be in virginia all weekend. seeing how I wasn't here on the day we first learned it, I'm pretty much clueless. I hate my class I'm debating whether to go to otakon or not this year, depending on whether or not any good jrockers or poppers go, last year yoshiki was there (awesome) I really wanted to see him too :( Also talked to my brothers girlfriends mother today, his girlfriend has jail for 5 days... terrible... her mom was really upset well thats all, later

Comments (3) | Permalink

Sunday, February 25, 2007

Today

Life Today it snowed, and it wasnt suppose to I don't think. We probably got about 4 inches, more than we've had all year. Yesterday was the first time I've drawn something in the past week that I actually felt like drawing. I kinda wanna put it up but my scanner wouldn't scan for some reason last night, so I tried to reinstall it cause I thought it was because dad unplugged everything to put up our new computer desk... didnt work though. But.. I drew abunch of original character from stories I've had yet to write, and Nina, the one from the story I'm writing right now. I should draw out the others, I put in alot of original character in the Final Fantasy story, at first I was just trying to match people up with eachother until I decided this chick that another girl was in love with was gonna die. So I don't know what'll happen to some of the people, THEY'LL DIE!!!! Yes, that works... no I don't know. I was decided on whether or not I wanted to have my main original character die or not, then I was all naw I'll jus put in some weird thing into happen to her. Probably a mimic of Lucrecia, I won't go into details about that it's hard to explain. I already have it planned out, I jus need to put it in the final chapter... ugh stupid story. So instead of having her die, I'm making a oc for Naruto die, thats fucked up I'm gonna let my own people die, ah well :). Someone always has to die, I feel weird if they don't. I'll prolly never get around to writing that for a naruto fanfic though, I still have to do bleach and samurai champloo at some point. I change my plans too much, I wanna gonna write a samurai champloo after I was done with my FF7 one, but then I'm not doing any til sumemr but I wanna write a story during summer... I'm confusing me :) Speaking of dead people, whenever their birthday or death date comes up I'm prolly gonna have the month dedicated to them. The thought came to me when I was watching something for hide of X japan, in may I'll do one for him. The only ones I planned out doing were hide, Tupac, Bob marley, Aaliyah, and Lisa Lopez (maybe)... I'll do the same for myspace too and anything else I have, then my friend elisabeth will be all "not only do you have dead black guys on your shirt, but everywhere else!" Cause she sees me in tupac and bob marley shirts alot. Her and brittany have labeled me with that cause brittany told me she had a dream that I killed everyone then I was dancing with a dead black dude. Then she had a dream I was a pixie a week ago, my friends are weird. [/I should get back to algebra 2 homework, peace]

Comments (1) | Permalink

Saturday, February 24, 2007

Argh

Life I had shit i wanted to do this weekend But too much other stuff to do Got some math homework, a science project, and that damn story I've only put up 1 chapter so far... i have to read the others over and over I think it sucks how I have to put the story into the Mature Audience, or atleast I think I do. I was debating on whether or not it belonged in the M + 16 one or the MA one... there is some sex shit but that aint until the final chapters of the story, and then maybe one in the middle. like I said, it wasn't intended to have sex shit in it. That makes me wonder, why did I put it in there then? Hmmm prolly cause I wanted to waste space and mimic a romance novel, my friends said if I'd make a romance novel no one would buy it cause I wouldn't take it too seriously and put dumb shit into it. Not true!!!!! I can be serious... sometimes. But then again when I read shit like that I laugh, cant help it, I think its funny. Of course I deleted that shit off my computer once I finished writing it, dad don't need to see it. I seem to be cussing alot, oopsy. Not sure why, i like to cuss though. Ughs I wanna get that final chapter done though :( but I need to do homework and a project... this is lame... I've realized I tend to say though alot... even when I don't need to. Ah well. Plus the three little dot thing... fuck i did it again Kay I need to work on that. But aside from that, nothings been going on lately. My birthdays in two weeks i think, pathetic when you forget your own birthday. During summer i want to write a story called "The Art of Life" but I don't know if I'll be able to, I'm trying to get a japanese tutor and read 2 books during summer. Yeah I hate reading... I don't wanna read books. Theres something wrong with me today, kinda weird today and my kidney hurts, weird. I'ma go to homework, later

Comments (1) | Permalink

Friday, February 16, 2007

So...

Life Does anyone else find it nice how Miyavi's playing in Las Vegas, but no where else tomorrow? Be aware of the fact that I'm using HEAVY, HEAVY SARCASM Cause you know what? I really wanna see him. Just to be spiteful I hope it's canceled, I'm an ass, I know. But it makes me feel a little better. I think I'm gonna get myself in trouble with my mouth one day... my teacher was talking about when he use to be a maintenance dude for rollar coasters he'd sit and watch middle school kids break up and he found it rather amusing. I asked him if he's dated anyone since he was 15 (just picking a random age) and I think it was my friend jaelle who blurted out, "He hasn't dated anyone at all" So of course I have to say something so I shout "Ah ha you're gonna die alone!" Then a bunch of people started laughing at me. I was just playing though, I don't know much about that teacher. He signed me up for honors history for my clases for 10th grade, then my other teacher signed me for honors geometry... I feel smart. Then I do german 2 next year, then 1 more year of german after that. It sucks how I'll have to pick another elective in 12th grade then... I can't even decide on the one I wanna do now. I wish they had japanese... but it sucks that they don't So this summer I'm trying to get tutoring, dad told me I need to look into it soon. Cause i wanna get my booty out of the United States asap, actually before I confirm living there or not I wanna go and see how it is first... I don't wanna be stuck there. [/I'm out, gotta finish my final chapter of my story and draw]

Comments (2) | Permalink