Thursday, May 24, 2007

   gots my period and im takin even more pills
im on birth control now. but i dun wanna see logan right now. i wanna cry cuz of my dream last night. *dream* john asked me back out *end dream* i want to cry so baaaad! i just wanna hate him, but i know i cant, not after what we had. im going over to jesse's today. like usual. i need a cigarette or a blunt.
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   got suspended again for having a marker
well, i ws out for a day, and i partied at jesses. i played guitar hero and drew cuz i HATE playing super mario smash bros with logan cuz i always lose no matter what ((im the newb)) but nick shippins was there, sam came over, matt, mark, joel, logan, me, and jeff. i gave logan a little hickey in no time flat, and i didnt mean to make it. shippens was drawing my bewbs, and i was okay with it. when i stole logans shirt, joel and jeff went after him cuz he was bare, so i took my top off and covered my bewbs by using logans back as a shield ((jesse was watching))
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Tuesday, May 22, 2007

   marvel broke into my house! and i have a cell phone!
i got geoffs old phone and he put minutes on it, and my number is 716-310-8752, so call me pplz! but yesterday at about 2:30 in the afternoon, nick marvel came into my house and my dad caught him going through my stuff. but jesse came over and saw my dad in his overalls witha pot belly and a beard, and he swore he heard banjos playing. ^_^
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Friday, May 18, 2007

logan came over last night and it was soo awesome!
he actually grabbed my boobs, and hes so cute when he does it. but he kissed my cheek, and was getting a bit more physical with me. ^^, but he made me smile, and we kept laughing when we looked at each other.

jesse's friend, joel, told kevin how i felt about him ((always on me, trying to break logan and i up, wanting to me my bf, ect. ect. )) he had cut wednesday night, and that pissed me off deep down cuz no guy should cut over a chick. no chick should ever cut over a dick. ever. but he stormed off and left, but called later to apologize. but how i see it, he got so worked up over it which meant it was all true. logan wanted to backhand him because kevin should know that logan isnt used to a gf, and doesnt know how to act, but kevin thinks logans being an ass.

this morning, i got some vodka and koolaid made, and then it overflowed, i left it home, and myers brought in gatorade with vodka too. ^____^ VODKA DAY!

but im on ilike.com and i hope to find a gf. yeah, i miss being able to hold a chick in my arms. meh. i miss kelly sorta.

yesterday i went to save-a-lot to see jesse, and he was working the cash register, and it was cool cuz i got to see how it actually worked! XD

*wants to be wild and sing and dance* i got my cell phone from geoff, and i totally love it. he got some ringtones for me ((buck cherry, FOB, ect ect)) and i cant wait to use them. i transferred some of my numbers from my dads old chunk phone. i cant wait to message daniel! ^________^
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Thursday, May 17, 2007

   im getting a cell phone!
im getting geoff's old vigin moblie, and hes ransferring some money to it. loan didnt ome over, but i wasnt feeling ood anyway cuz i was throwing up a weightlifting and went ouside early. jesse called again, and when i got off the phone i called geoff, andhe told me hed call me back, bt right when i got off the phone, a second later kevin called. -_- make him stop and just go away.

val is still pissed. whatever.

john keeps toucing me. why?! im trying to get over him, and he knows it. he even knows i miss him. how could i not miss him?
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Wednesday, May 16, 2007

   he said the cutest thing!! hes so kawaii! ^--^
WELL, I GOT TO TALK TO LOGAN LAST NIGHT, AND WHEN I TOLD HIM I MISSED HIM, ((OOPS! caps!)) and he said he missed me too, and when i said i missed him ((FRANK IS SUCH A VIRGIN!)) more and he said he missed me more than that! :) he also said hed come over today, and i told him what kevins been doing ((trying to get in my pants and be my bf (he spread around school that im his new gf) and all that shit)) and he sounded a bit mad cuz theyre sposed to be bffs. well, val found out i told cody that she was sitting on mikes lap, and she was yelling at me while i was talkin to jesse, and i ignored her, waiting for her to hit me first ((cuz then i could beat the shit outta her)) and i just kept talking to jesse, pissin her off. then she was '' im running away, i disown this family, i hate you all'' but lifes like that. cody would find out in the end. but she was cheatin, and would she really have told? no. she only did last time cuz he found out. i also moved my room around, and both cats slept with me. i was sick this morning. art: i admitted to john i missed him. T_T he tried to get me to smile, but it didnt work.
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Monday, May 14, 2007

   sometimes you take chances, sometimes you take pills....
It's all a game of this or that, now versus then
better off against worse for wear
And you’re someone who knows someone who knows someone I once knew
And I just want to be a part of this

The road outside my house is paved with good intentions
Hired a construction crew, 'cause it's hell on the engine
And you are the dreamer and we are the dream.
I could write it better than you ever felt it.

So hum hallelujah,
Just off the key of reason
I thought I loved you
It was just how you looked in the light.
A teenage vow in a parking lot
"Till tonight do us part"
I sing the blues and swallow them too

My words are my faith to hell with our good name.
A remix of your guts-your insides X-rayed
And one day we'll get nostalgic for disaster
we're a bull, your ears are just a china shop

I love you in the same way, there's a chapel in a hospital
One foot in your bedroom and one foot out the door
Sometimes we take chances, sometimes we take pills.
I could write it better than you ever felt it.
Lyrics

So hum hallelujah,
Just off the key of reason
I thought I loved you
It was just how you looked in the light.
A teenage vow in a parking lot
"Till tonight do us part"
I sing the blues and swallow them too

Hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelu...
Hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelu...
(Hum hallelujah (Hum hallelujah), hum hallelujah (Hum hallelujah))

A teenage vow in a parking lot
"Till tonight do us part"
I sing the blues and swallow them too

So hum hallelujah,
Just off the key of reason
I thought I loved you
It was just how you looked in the light.
A teenage vow in a parking lot (Hum hallelujah)
"Till tonight do us part"
Love in a parking lot (Hum hallelujah)
"Till tonight do us part"
A teenage vow in a parking lot
"Till tonight do us part"
I sing the blues and swallow them too

__________________________________________________
i love this song. i feel like its all about me, but my vow was to be forever and ever. but i guess forever is only 14 months and 11 days. maybe i'll beat that forever.
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   ive been a naughty girl in my dreams! ~.^
saturday i went to jesse's and played guitar hero with kevin. that night, logan, matt, mark, and kevin came over and we all watched edward scissor hands. when ed was learning to smile, logan called for me, and i turned around, and he was doing the smile ed did, and i freaked! lol

well, in art, john was trying to find out who gave me the bruise under my eye ((kevin)) and then he ended up calling me a slut.

but my dreams last night got me going. in one, i was being fucked like there was no tomorrow, and another one, me and ryan book found a lost baby boy while we were at the park, and i was taking it home with its wierd little toy. but they toys name was jamie and the ryan named the kid ira. ? another dream was that i was in school and choking. i think it means im holding my feelings back from john. another one was that i was grabbing fish outta water with the grabber thing my mom has, and i caught this monster angel fish, then i was sacrificed to some wierd creature that i was scared was gonna attack me, so i kept swatting at it with a whippy-stick. and in that one, buddy could talk and it sounded like puss-n-boots from shrek.

damn. val gave me her mp3 palyer, so what doesnt fit on my black one will go on the blue-preppy one.
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Thursday, May 10, 2007

~later~
art was boring. john clammed up in art class again. ha. hahaha. i didnt hafta do my eart science lab. ^^, frank keeps closing outta all these windows. and frank is STILL a VIRGIN!
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   sooo....tired.... it...was.....THUNDERING!!! >.<
havent written in awhile..been busy reading new furuba books and now im on 14, but im almost done. kevin was over the past few days, since tuesday. logan got grounded monday, and now i find out he got suspended yesterday for either cursing at the teacher or holding a yard-stick like a sword.. ~_~ kev, matt, and i baked cookies, nd it was the fastest that cookies have ever been made at my house. ^^, but it was so yummy.

couldnt sleep last night. was thundering..i kept waking up in sweat for some reason. dad took mom and i to the new star buffet cuz vals at nyc. played with weezer when i cleaned out his cage.

i need to mail daniels letter soon... still cant believe he called. moms still bitching about how she cant trust me. but jesse still calls me... called twice last night. i wanna go see him at work today. <3
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