myOtaku.com: Inuyashalovergirl

myO Still <3's You

Vitals

Birthday
• 1992-04-21
Gender
• Female
Location
• ny, usa
Member Since
• 2004-07-05
Occupation
• inuyasha lover
Real Name
• Ria Marx

Personal

Achievements
• advanced classes
Anime Fan Since
• 2003
Favorite Anime
• InuYasha, Alice 19th, Fushugi Yugi, Ruroni Kenshin, Ceres: Celestial Legend, Fruits Basket, Dragon Voice, Battle Royale, Jing:Thief Lord
Goals
• lose weight, go to Anime Con North
Hobbies
• swordsmanship, swimming, listening to music, spending time with my friends, rollerblading, biking, manga everything, fighting, singing, going on the computer,archery, partying, smoking, sex
Talents
• swordmanship, balance, memory, diving, sight, karate, computer hacking, archery, destroying usless things in life, arguing with parents, ninjitsu,

myOtaku.com: Inuyashalovergirl

Friday, May 4, 2007

*next period, same day as post before*
well, i found out that john is going to the white dance AFTEr we broke up! ho wouldnt go with me, but he can probably go with his "girlfriend" and jackie doesnt even go out with him! im trying to hide my feelings for him, but when hge was next to me in art class, i had to ask him to move away because i smelled him and wanted to hug him, and i think he got mad, even though he denied it on jackies life. i cant ask him to swear on mine anymore cuz we broke up and he already broke a promise me made on my life. not just one, if you think about it...he promised to me that hed never cheat on me, that hed never look at another girl, but he did. and i WONT forget it. i wont be able to forget him. how could i say i loved someone so quickly after breaking up with him? it shows that he was just a dick, just another cock in my life. just another stab at my heart, one more grand-canyon-sized crack going through it, an almost passing attempt to kill me at my rehardened core.

THOUGHTFUL RANT
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i let him into my heart, the heart that i hardened in fear of what he would do in the end. he broke past my barriers of my life, the jail walls i put up around me to keep me enclosed. he promised to be different, and i guess he was. he broke my heart in a new way to me, in a way no one had done to me before. he -----

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im sorry. i still cant do this. i still cant bear to think about it. my heart stops beating, i stop breathing, and i relive all the pain mixed witht he happiness, and i need to swallow it all down with all the tears ive ever cried for him. i ripped my heart out for him, so many times, and never once did he pick my living heart up fully, not once, and help me with what i needed. he helped me in ways i didnt want to be helped in, in subjects that were closed off from everyone, even myself. i offered him my body, and of course, he took it. draining it, using it for his own pleasure and mine at times.
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