Sunday, January 16, 2005

   Nightmares and Dreams
Last night I dreamt, the night before I nightmared. Two different types of stories you can not imagine. Check it out:

Nightmare: I was getting married. Everybody was there and looking beautiful and I was standing in the back waiting to go down the aisle after the bridesmaids and the groomsmen. And then it turned into a musical. I swear to you, I am not joking. The bridesmaids and groomsmen started singing and tap dancing and then the whole rest of the congregation. I stood in the back with tears streaming down my face because my wedding day was ruined and everyone standing back there with me was: "Ah, look how she cries. She is so pleased with us." I couldn't say a word, the tears just kept streaming down my face.

Dream: Dragon slaying! Oh man, it was sooo cool! We were fighting the bad guys, and we rigged up a trap like unto the one found in Dragons of a Winter Night, but not exactly. I was jumping around the rigging making sure the cudgels and spikes and knifes worked as they ought. We'd already battled two and were down to our last one and I was worried and anxious and not a little bit inspired by trepidation. But Sam was there and kept me calm about the up coming turmoil, the last battle to be fought at that stage. It was awesome, and I was so peeved when I woke up.

Well, I have Mass today and then (hopefully) going to coffee with Batman and my sister.
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Friday, January 14, 2005

Week is over and shoulders are sore!
Well, I'm not dead yet! And Mom and I leave in a made up sort of mood. So I wasn't still sore at her when I was finally dropt off, and I got my payment and all that rubbish sorted out.

Right, so at the moment I'm washed and cleaned and my back doesn't hurt as much as it did earlier. I have four classes Mon, Weds, and Fri so I get to walk to all my classes and then a mile home. My shoulder blades do not appreciate this. Any one of y'all good at back massages?

Two funny ancedotes:
1) Thursday I was happily tripping along my way home listening to Cutless and humming to myself for reasons to be explained later. After I passed The Salty Nut (a pub) this car pulled up behind me. It was 24 and he offered me a ride home, of which I was very grateful. I chuck my books in, twist myself in the seat, shut the door, and am unable to sit properly. I had managed to shut my hair in the door. *garh*
2) Got to class a little late for my history of ancient philosophy. I felt a little dumb, but when throughout the rest of the class without doing anything to make a fool of myself, until the class was over. Put my books in my bag, sat up to snag my pencil, and realized that my jacket was caught in my hair. Yes, friends, I had got the top of my hair entangled in the button of my right jean jacket sleeve and could not get it unstuck. My philosophy professor was kind enough to untangle me.

I think I should be okay this semester. It's going to be a big work load, but that classes I seem to grasp pretty well.

The reason why I was merrily tripping along on Thursday: I actually talked to a stranger! *whooo* Well, not so much a stranger in as much as a classmate in my Visions of the Apocalypse (awesome course! We're doing the Book of Revelation this month and next month is nothing but William Blake!! ^_^) class that attracted my attention because I thought he was a character from a story even though they look nothing alike. More like the way he carried himself and the fact he has this appealing androgonous appeareance.
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Monday, January 10, 2005

*sneer*
Well, today is my first day of classes. Got in a fight with my mom already this morning. I have to go to the financial services office this morning because I still haven't paid for my classes because the little blighters are trying to tell me that I have to pay a non-refundable charge of $35 on the credit card should I use it to pay for the $18 that my scholarship won't cover. I have four classes today and I already feel like I'm just going to die. Maybe I'll feel better this afternoon.
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Monday, January 3, 2005

Hope New Years Day has treated y'all well
Only three days 'til Christmas is over (Christmas ends on Twelth Night, January 6th). Epiphany has come and gone with all the glory which that entails.

New Years Day was spent eating, drinking, and enjoying the company of friends. Such a feast! More food is made for this occasion than even Thanksgiving. Gotta love them collards and black eyed peas and hoppin' Johns and ham and *eyes glaze over in memory and continues on listing*

Was a little (just a Wee bit) dissappointed with the fact that I was unable to go to Congaree Swamp and hike as I was planning on. *sigh* Oh well, so much for planning things, aye?

And now, for reasons beyong my control I am finding myself a wee bit irrate. Time for story time!

Warning: the following passage consists of pretty much nothing but violence.

She had always been taught not to get angry. To breath deeply and think clearly in any situation that could cause anger to arise. Remaining level headed allowed her to get out of potentially dangerous situations and to maintain a certain amount of respect amongst her peers and elders. Not today.

"What," she asked in her normal cool and off handed voice, "was that suppose to mean?"

The boy across from her smirked. "You know exactly what it means."

A cloud moved in to obscure the sun. The shadows deepened ever so slightly in the alley way. The dirt from the bricks glistened wetly in the flickering wet.

She came through the alley because it was a short cut to the woods beyond the city. Relatively safe, it held only a garbage bin and located next to the busy main street, she never felt a need to fear walking through the puddles while carrying pepper spray (her own concoction made from water, hair spray, and ground pepper seeds).

After spending a day walking about with a gloomy cloud of depression over her head, the last thing she need was this scum nosed boy taunting her about her unorthadox taste in lovers.

Keeping the cool expression on her face she slammed her fist into the boy's cheek. The boy staggered back in shock. Not waiting for him to recover from surprise, she shoved her knee into his gut.

The boy doubled over in pain as her hand snaked out and closed around his throat. She had misjudged her aim slighty, and instead of having her hand entirely around his throat she found that her thumb was pressed tightly against his Adam's apple.

"Try to pull my hand away," she hissed, "and I guarantee that your wind pipe will come away with it."

The boy looked at her with wide eyes. "Ygrsih," he gurgled.

She walked him to the end of the alley and pressed him against the grimy wall. Without loosening her grip in the least she leened forward until her nose was almost touching his.

"Now," she murmured, her lips brushing his, "I suggest you keep your comments on my tastes in men to yourself."

Savagely she pressed her mouth to his. Stunned, the boy opened his mouth in a gasp. Without a moments hesitation, she viciously bit his lip 'til she tasted blood.

He let loose a sharp cry of pain and gazed in horror at the crystal glaze in her eyes. "And I suggest you tell your friends not to mention anything either," she murmured.

Licking the trickle of blood from his chin, she tightened her grip slightly and kneed him in the gut again.

The boy collasped, sputtering, to her knees as she turned and headed to the woods, savoring the metallic taste lingering on her tongue.
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Saturday, December 25, 2004

   Oh come all ye faithful
I GOT TO SEE HIM! I GOT TO SEE HIM! I GOT TO SEE HIM! I GOT TO SEE HIM!!!!!!! *EXSTATIC SPAZ*

I got to see my greatest friend in the world! *huge grin*

Okay, Christmas Eve:
Went to work a little after nine, people were in the store the second we opened at nine thirty. Last minute shoppers some, others that hadn't gotten their packages in because of snow in Memphis, and others who were told to come pick up on Friday. It was a long seven hours.
At the "end" of the day I saw Batman walking across the street and I waved him in the store to come in and enjoy the warmth whilst we were packing up for Christmas. *grin*
After I got off we walked home and he gave Peck and myself our presents (Californication, Red Hot Chili Peppers for myself) and chatted.
Dad gave him a ride home and I got ready for the best part of the night.

My grandmother's! Food was good, as usual. And I got to see my Bestest Friend! We talked and swapped stories and I got to see a pic of his girlfriend (she wasn't able to make it) and read "Yes, Virginia" and "'Twas the Night Before Christmas," blew up fireworks (I burned my thumb) and then came the gift exchange.

My Santa present was a little plastic sword since I started fencing and all. See, all our Santa presents are gag gifts after you hit fifteen or so...it's makes it fun and enjoyable and you get to tell some "interesting" stories to the rest of the family.

Then came the real presents. HE LIKED MY GIFT!!!

I spent three days on drawing his portrait from a little picture I had taken of him Thanksgiving of last year. And he really, truly liked it! ^_^ He had this blank look when he first opened it (my heart stopped, I swear) and then he was just: "Oh my God! You drew this? Holy cow. This is so cool" etc, etc, etc. (He's going to hang it up in his apartment when he moves in).

Then we went to midnight Mass. Well, my portion of the family and my Best Friend did. It was good. Got to see YoshiFalcon and see the church all beautified for Christmas. Saw Boy after Mass and he gave me the book I really wanted ^_^ *doink*

Droppd my friend off at my grandmothers and went on home and didn't get to go to bed 'til three ten this morning.

Today:
has been spendiferous. I got pretty much everything I wanted. Two items of note: new hightops and fencing gear. *sparkling grin* Then we came down here (Charleston) and opened up our presents from my grandparents (Mom's side) and have eaten more good food. We're staying the night.

It's suppose to snow in Columbia tomorrow!!! *excitement!!!* If it does, we're going home so that I may frolick in it.

Love you all and hope y'all are having a wonderful Christmas!
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Wednesday, December 22, 2004

Another one bites the dust...
I don't do things by half. I am obsessive. Ergo, when something causes something to happen in one area of my life, it boils out onto everything else.
Translation: one thing is causing me to get my knickers in a twist, and it's making me depressed, snappy, and pissed off.

Bowie-ite says I have anger management issues. This is probably true. Issues because I don't "get" angry a--

YES!

(Sorry, "Numb" just came on, and I've been singing that song for the past ten minutes).

Where was I? Oh yeah.

--nd tend to bottle it in and just let it loose alone in my room. Meaning I sit and cry for an hour or so.

I think this is due mainly to the fact that when I get angry, I get depressed. I no longer have any capability to make my thoughts known, so can not properly communicate. This leads to feelings of not being understood, that no one understands me, that I'm worthless, etc. etc. etc. because it all snowballs and I'm ineffectually crying into a pillow up in my room. Alone.

I'm alone the vast majority of the time. It's just a little pathetic I think. I need to get off my lazy bum and actually call people. But I don't like calling people just to chat because I don't want to waste their time. Nor do I want my parents paying the phone bill because it seems that all my close friends now live out of town.

I'm just making trouble for myself. As usual. I have a tendancy to metaphorically beat my head against a brick wall.

*crosses eyes* Sorry. Don't mind my whining. Just needed to rant some more I suppose.

The Gods Must Be Crazy, 1980, rated PG.
No big stars, this is more of an independant film. It's a comedy mixed with a bit of romance. Utterly hilarious. It's based on the contrast between the simpicity of the Bushmen and our "civilization." When a Coke bottle is thrown out of a plane it lands before Xi and inadvertainly wreaks havoc upon his clan. So he goes off on a mission to throw the evil thing from the face of the edge.
On the way he meets a comes across Andrew Stein, a microbiologist, and has to help him rescue Kate Thompson, a school teacher, from a terrorist.
I suppose it could be a called a mockumentary. This is a classic with much dry humor and lovely little tidbits.
"Aye, yi, yi, yi, yi." - Andrew
"I noticed." - Kate
"Are the voices in my head bothering you?" - random woman
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Monday, December 20, 2004

   One down, seven hundred million to go
So, I finished up my Bestest Friend's gift today...er...make that yesterday! All that's left is for me to get the frame and it will be finished! *Whoo-hoo*

Man, I feel so hyped up for some reason. And it's some half hour after midnight. I should be exhausted and falling asleep! *doink* But instead I'm wanting to go around talking, making weird sound effects, and just all around acting like I have a screw loose.

Don't get me wrong, I know I have a screw loose, but acting more nutters than usual.

Sam - *thbbbt*
Fred - *rolls eyes*

Anyways. So, I re-read my two volumnes of Angel Sanctuary and am going to re-read the Inu-Yasha that I have, even though I have to get up early tommorrow.

I'm having more ideas for my novel, but it would involve me rewriting the beginning a bit, but I don't want to do that until I actually have a first draft finished. So I think I'm just going to go as is and then completely remodifiy/revise it when I actually finish it. I guess you could say that the vision keeps changing and that the characters keep informing me of different things *blargh*

Sam - "And she still hasn't done a darn thing about our story!"

On the even brighter side, I only have a few more presents to get and do up and I'll be finished! Yea!

Ladyhawke, starring Rutger Hauer, Matthew Broderick, and Michelle Pfeiffer, directed by Richard Donner, 1985, rated PG-13.
A man and a woman are in love, but an evil Bischop has cursed them so that they are "always together, eternally apart." She is a hawk by day, he is a wolf by night. Never the two can see each other as they are except at the moment right before change. *sorrowful sigh* Now, with the help of Phillip the Mouse, they have a chance to break the curse!
Phillip has absolutely wonderful lines, and I wish I had his relationship with God because it's just grand, super, and utterly brill!
"*unh* It's just like coming out of Mother's womb. God, what a memory."
"I know I promised to never steal again, LORD. But I know that you know what a weak willed person I am."
"I told the truth LORD! How am I suppose to learn right from wrong if you keep confusing me?"
-all courtesy of the Mouse
"I have wounded bird!" - Phillip
"Bring it in, bring it in, we'll dine together!" - monk
"We can't eat this bird!" - P
"Why not? Oh God, is it Lent again already?" -m

*laughter*
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Saturday, December 18, 2004

   Cardboard is a deadly weapon
So my parents and I got in something of a spat on Thursday and I wasn't able to go to fencing. Well, I could have gone...but my pride kept me from going because emotions take a long time to seep from my face and I didn't want everyone asking why it was all white, red, and blotchy. It had to be one of the worst nights of my life. I skipped dinner, went to bed, got woken up three different times, and got the biggest migraine headache of my life. Seriously. I started bashing my head to make the pain stop. Yeah, doesn't make since at all. So I went down stairs, got two asprin, realized that I actually was hungry and ate the rest of the brussel sprouts, some yellow rice, and chicken; and my dad rocks 'cause he gave me a cup (not a glass, a cup) of wine to help with my migraine and then I went back to bed. I think I fell asleep when my migraine left. However, one good thing did come from all this:

I realize the more I "don't care" about something is because I actually care a lot about it and want people to leave me the Hell alone and just bugger off. Also, that as much as I would welcome death at any moment, I would still fight to save my life.

On to another subject.

Friday!
So, nothing much happened. Went to work, babysat, learned I need to improve my reflexes. Oh yes, got started on my cousin's Christmas present. Plan on finishing that today.

In today's news:
Worked 'til three and got a ride home. Id's drop-in Christmas party is today. Super Ego had offered me a ride in case I was going. Well, get home and there's this message on the machine:
"Hey, it's about 1:30 and I was hoping that you were off work-" Eh? Not 'til 3 honey "-and I'm leaving in about an half hour or so. Call me on my cell when you get this." And with that she ended the message and did not leave me her cell number! *blargh* So I call Bowie-ite and he's gone to Id's with Super Ego, so I call his cell and leave a message informing that yes, I got Super Ego's message but had no number in which to call. However! I don't think I hung up in time because I pushed the button and noticed my clothes all clean and folded (they've been laying in the washer for the past two days) and shrieked "Me clothes are clean!" and then noticed that the red "phone on" button was still lit up. *doink*

Ah yes, I forgot to mention. The other day, my parents are so cool, they got us the extended version of Return of the King *wide grin*

Here's another movie, and I'm off to go draw some more.

Tombstone, starring Kurt Russell and Val Kilmer, rated R. No copy date.
It's the Show Down at the O. K. Corral! *whoo-hoo* The story of Wyatt Earp and Doc Holliday from the the time Earp becomes sherriff and Doc passes away in bed with his boots off ("Well, I'll be damned.")
I cried my eyes out first time I saw this movie. Partially because I misunderstood my dad and thought that not only did Doc Holliday die from tuberculosis but Val Kilmer as well. *shakes head*
Cast also includes: Sam Elliott, Bill Paxton, Dana Delany, Jason Priestley, Micheal Biehn, and Charlton Heston.
Some Holliday quotes:
"In vino veritas." (There is truth in wine)
"I'll be your huckleberry."
"I've got two, one for each of ya." (paraphrased)
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