Wednesday, August 15, 2007

*sigh*
I've actually learned to think about nothing. It's not quite nothing, I think of song lyrics. I always do, they tend to be in the back of my head like my own private sound track. I've learned to control it a bit, though. Anytime I find myself starting to think something in reaction to what someone is saying, I turn on the songs instead and it helps me to pay better attention instead of going off on my own. Whenever I find myself thinking about something that could lead to an argument, I start thinking about songs instead. It really helps me keep my mouth shut. Although, sometimes I think it doesn't really help either. Like keeping quite will still cause problems the same as talking will. Although from my experience not talking and avoiding a potential blow up is better and leading to a quite sort of upset that gets brushed over is better than speaking and leading to a blow up. But who really knows. Most people know me as a chatter box. It works really well for keeping them oblivious to the fact that I don't really tell them that much about me at all, and that they don't really know that much about me. It also helps 'cause them I'm ready with saying something that distracts from what's really going on in my head. The only problem is, when I actually want to say what I'm thinking about, or need to speak instead of being quite is: I don't know how.

'Til next time ...

I love you Batman @}~~',~~
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Monday, August 13, 2007

wow
So, it's been a hell of a long time since I've been on here. I'm tired and have work tomorrow, but I figured I'd let those of y'all still reading this know that I'm still alive and kicking. Hopefully there'll be a longer post sooner rather than later.

'Til next time ...

I love you Batman @}~~',~~
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Saturday, June 30, 2007

   21 is here to stay
Yup, I'm twenty-one now. Been so for a couple of days and thoroughly enjoyed the priviledges. I was taken out to dinner with my family on Wednesday (had a Newcastle Brown Ale), went out for sushi and sake on Thursday with Batman, and last night went out bar hopping with friends. It started storming at the second bar we were at, so it wasn't much hopping but we did get to hang out and talk for several hours so it made a successful evening in my eyes. Spending so much time with Batman wasn't too shabby either ^_^ I currently have the week off from work and will probably use it to sleep and clean my room and work on a couple of projects that I've been neglecting (said room being one of them). Hope everyone has a happy 4th!

'Til next time ...

I love you Batman @}~~',~~
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Tuesday, May 29, 2007

"home again, home again, jiggidy jig"
Well, I'm back. I arrived home about three days ago actually. I'm getting re-aclimated to a warmer climate and a five hour time difference. It's alright for the most part, I just feel like crashing earlier than most people and I'm starting to have a tendency to want to get up earlier in the morning. I don't see this as necessarily a bad thing. I'm taking a week to adjust myself to being back home, getting a chance to see friends and family and what-not. I'll probably be starting back to work next week or so. Just wanted to let y'all know that I'm back in the States.

'Til next time ...

Love you Batman @}~~',~~
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Wednesday, May 9, 2007

...
I'm getting tired of the fucking shit that I've been going through lately. It's gotten to the point that I really, Really just don't care anymore. I feel completely and utterly empty inside. I sick and damn tired of it all. I'm sick of my damn situation. I'm tired of constantly being 'wrong' because the other person has a bloody 'holier than thou' approach to the entire thing. Up on the moral high horse and not acknowledging my stand at all except to tell me that I'm wrong and did wrong and am an immoral person. I can't say a damn thing right, anything I say gets taken the wrong way and I've done something wrong yet again. I'm sick and fucking tired of it.
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Thursday, May 3, 2007

   twenty-three days
I have twenty-three days until I go home. Over all, I think I feel nervous. There is still a lot of travelling that I want to do but I miss home so much. Right now I really, really miss my father. I feel like I have no more time left while at the same time I want to be home. I don't like having this conflicting emotion. Like Folken says, it leads to problems. It's something that I'm dealing with. I love you very much Batman and one thing that I'm not conflicted about is being held by you again.

'Til next time ...

Cheers.

I love you Batman @}~~',~~
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Wednesday, April 18, 2007

   Asshole Bastard!
>_<* I'm getting sick and damn tired of this sort of thing! What is going through people's heads when they decide that they're miserable and should go shoot up a school?! I'm hear in Scotland, and everyone who knows I'm American has (for the past two days) been asking about whether or not I heard about the Virginia Tech shootings. Well, the first person who told me got to see my reaction: sputtering mad! Son of a bitch! I'm a person who uses guns and respects guns, I hate it when people abuse guns. Shooting people when not in a war situation is Abusing Guns. I'm a person who dislikes people who get on my nerves, but I deal with it in a rational fashion. Shooting people isn't the answer! Damn it! Finally, why the Hell? He went and killed himself afterward, did he not want to go alone? Did he think that other people also thought so little of their own lives that they wanted to die? I'm sick of hearing about how stupid Americans are being in this. I walk around and people see me as an American and I'm supposed to explain this asshole's behaviour. Well, I can't and I don't really want to either. I think he was a complete and total jerk. Suicide is horrible enough, but if you're going to do it don't pull other people down with you. I don't care what offense you think you've been given or how you've been slighted, nothing earns the right for you to go shoot up a classroom full of students and professors! I don't like that these kinds of things are happening, and it usually just makes me very sad and depressed ... but this is one time too many! I like to think that I'm the forgiving sort of person and that I won't hold things against others, but I can't help but finding myself hoping that this guy is currently burning away in some pit in Hell! It's not just him, it's all the other suicide murderers. Murder is bad enough, suicide is bad enough ... but if you're just going to kill yourself anyway leave the rest of humanity out of it! Believe it or not, the world isn't out to get you, there are people out there to help you, and there are those who can and will care about you. Heck, even I would care about you! But when you decide to kill others before wasting away your own self I'm afriad that right now all I have to offer is my anger, wrath, and spite! >_<*
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Wednesday, April 11, 2007

   Holy Cow! Another Post!
Okay, so I'm burning up time waiting to sign up for courses and the archives won't load for Neil Gaiman ... and I check out the fan art. ROCK ON ALL YOU HAPPY ARTISTS!! Can I just say that I am absolutely thrilled to see Orphan and Ouran High School Host Club fan art? 'Cause I really and truly am! I love, Love, LOVE Host Club I'm ticked that I haven't been able to cactch the last 4 episodes and will have to wait 'til I get home. I found this amazing AMV on mySpace to the song of "Memories" and am constantly on the look out for good fan art of it. Kudos to everyone.
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   To Magnus Lensherr
Oops! I enjoyed reading your post and your signing of my guest book, but I was an idiot and hit 'delete' (I've spent too much time on mySpace lately, I honestly thought I was replying to your post ~_~* *sigh* ... no more early morning tea for me). Do you have a site to comment on? I've tried to find one but haven't. Things have taken a turn for the better. I was just in a really big fight with my best friend and it brought me low, but we've made up now ^_^ Thanks for your comment and guest book signature, so sorry that I deleted it! I am an American, Irish happens to actually be one of my nicknames back home. My family also came from there several generations ago ;-P Hope to get another comment from you. Cheers!
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   Not a depressing post.
Crazy, huh? Well, I've finally gotten over my frustrations and am back to facing the world with a smile on my face. Scotland has made a turn for the even lovelier. Spring is here and the flowers are in bloom. It would be downright warm ... if not for the fact that the wind has decided to pick up again and freeze one ;-P Anyway.

So, I've done a ton of stuff since last posting. I've been to Edinburgh and explored the National Art Gallery. I've played hide-and-seek in the Glasgow necropolis with Berserker (an Englishman believe it or not) and German (who's well, German). I've gone to the Wallace Monument and Stirling Castle with Berserker, German, and HPF (Harry Potter Fan, a fellow American). The three of us also went to the Isle of Mull and explored some castle ruins. We also got stuck there a day longer than we intended *chuckles*

Classes have finished up and I'm in the middle of spring break. I just need to make sure that I get my studyind done in time for exams. I haven't finished up all my travelling, still planning on going to visit Ireland as well as spots in England and Wales. More updates to come.

'Til next time ...

I love you Batman @}~~',~~
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