Wednesday, March 7, 2007

   *slowly cuts herself up and open*
I feel like I'm bashing my head against a glass wall. It's really beginning to hurt my head, but I just can't stop doing it. I think it's starting to get streaked with blood. Either I'm going to eventually knock myself out or break through the wall (and it's pretty thick glass) and when that happens I'm going to be in even more pain because of all the shards. I wish I had a knife so that I could cut myself. I want to cut my heart out and put it on a shelf ... or better yet: lock it away in a lead safe and burry it a good six feet below the ground in a place only I know about. I keep bending, bending, bending. I have the sneaky suspicion that I get to decide whether or not I break. If it is my own choice ... I'm not sure what I'll do. Breaking sounds really good right about now. I'm beginning to dislike getting bent out of shape and then straightening myself back out again. I think I just want to say the hell with it all and become completely broken, and perhaps throw away a few of the pieces so that if someone tries to fix me they'll never get their hands on all of me ever again.

In other news: Scotland is beautiful. The weather has been warming up so that all I have to wear is a sweatshirt. The crocuses are blooming and they look fantastic. I'm going to be going to the Isle of Mull in the highlands this weekend, and it's supposed to be raining non-stop. I'm looking forward to it though. My first round of papers are done with classes, so now I have a little bit of a breather before I get to go under the surface again. Time seems to be flying by, yet at the same time crawl as slowly as a snail. Hope y'all are have a great time where every y'all may be.

'Til next time ...

(I still love you Batman, even though you don't believe me)
Comments (4) | Permalink

Monday, February 12, 2007

   On Being a Good Person
Most people consider me to be a Good Person. This is because I try to be one and because that is the role I best fit in when others try to figure me out / place me in my proper place. If you’re not a Good Person be happy, be very, very happy. It sucks major balls to be considered a Good Person. If you’re considered just a regular human being who tries to be good, if you make a mistake you’re alright. If you’re considered a Bad Person no one gives a damn what you do or don’t do because it’s just who you are. But by God, if you’re a Good Person you are not only held up to your own dangerously / psychotically high moral standards for yourself, but every body else’s as well. You are held up to standards that they don’t expect anyone else to hold to, but you are because you are “Good.” And if you turn out to be a regular human being with human feelings and emotions and mistakes and etc. ad infinatum you shall be utterly fucked. You will be castigated, raked over flaming hot coals. If you’re lucky, the worst people will consider you to be is a hypocrite of the vilest extremes … normally though, you’ll be told that you’re the scum of the earth and going to roast in Hell (just not in those exact words). The only way to return to good standing with the rest of humanity is if you grovel and swear never to err again and to be the utterly perfect angel and fit into that mold they have of you. You discover that the people who you thought loved you even with your mistakes and human frailty actually don’t and will only love you if you fit their idea of Goodness and Perfection. You are doomed to live your life in misery, unaccepted for who you are. It’s the rudest awakening imaginable and the hardest role in life to escape from. If you are considered a Good Person, you have my complete empathy. If you are truly a Good Person you have my complete admiration, because I am not a truly Good Person, I’m only expected to be.
Comments (2) | Permalink

Friday, January 26, 2007

Well, I'm in Scotland, and y'all already know that. I've been here for two weeks and haven't really seen more than the city center and the campus. Dundee is cold and sunny. I'm glad that it's not cold and rainy. This weekend I'm headed to Edinburgh for the day to see what I can see of the capital. I don't know how many times I'll be returning there, but I'll definitely be spending time there in April for the AFI concert! *woo-hoo!* Classes are great. We finished up James Hogg this week in English and Plato and Spinoza are coming along. We had a lengthy discussion regarding whether or not Spinoza could be considered an antheist or not and how well he was forming his arguments and such and so. I've written some letters and sent some post cards, but still have not heard word from people except via e-mail. This would have to do with the fact that it takes about a week for things to get over here and no one has my address ~_~* Silly me. Well, that's all for me for the moment. 'Til next time ...

I love you (and miss you!) Batman @}--',--
Comments (2) | Permalink

Monday, January 22, 2007

I have arrived! Actually, I arrived last week but was trying to see if I could avoid using school computers to get onto my prefered web pages. Alas, no private internet do I have at the moment.

'Irish,' y'all are probably going, 'you're not making any sense at all, at all.'

Well, I guess I just have to spell it out then! I AM IN DUNDEE SCOTLAND FOR THE SEMESTER! *wa-hoo!* Yup, I'm in Scotland. I only have class on Monday and Tuesday and the rest of my week is free. It's actually not all that free because I have a lot of studying to do so that I don't fall behind in what we're doing in class. However, it doesn't change the fact that I have an extended weekend and that I have good time for travel. My first stop will (hopefully) be in Edinburgh this week. I'm planning on getting a bus ticket in the next day or so, thus I won't have to pay as much. Just wanting to spend the day and then come back. See some sites, get some gifts and all that fun stuff. It probably won't be 'til next month that I make extended trips for over a day. My classes are great.
1) Romantic Selves and Gothic Others (English lit.)
2) Spinoza's Ethics and Freewill
3) Love and Desire in Plato's Dialogues

Well, have much more to do but will hopefully be keeping this up all semester.

'Til next time ...

I love you Batman @}--',--
Comments (2) | Permalink

Thursday, January 4, 2007

Hellos and how art thous? this is Sam here
While Irish is busy working on luggage and joining new boards elsewhere I've come up for a funny story.

Once upon a time, there was this girl who fell for a guy. Now, the guy left the girl and after much wrestling with the fairness (or lack thereof) with the world, she got over it. For some reason or another, there was still care for this other guy, but it wasn't that big in her life anymore. She grew and became quite a lovely lass. Over time, the original guy came back in her life. Now, this guy apparently got stuck in a quagmire because he didn't really change too much, got hooked to a falling star and didn't realize that it fell off planet, but he didn't realize that the girl was off on her own star and gliding through the universe quite happy with herself. He kept coming back to her like a beat dog hoping that she hadn't changed the way she had and going away snuffling when he came face to face with the fact that she had. It was becoming a pattern, a delicate loop invading the girl's life and making a snarl in her fabric. However, due to a sense of humor the girl was forced to attain at one point in her life she didn't look too poorly on the sod but put up with him ... although it was getting pretty annoying. Now the girl just watches the patterns and smiles in amusement at the picture that she sees taking form.

So, did you humans find my story funny? I'm thinking about expanding it some ... but not sure that I have the time. Well, it looks like Irish is pretty much finished with what's she's doing so I'm going to go back and help her. Oh, and Batman, hope you're having a good day and things are going well with you. Cheers all you happy people!
Comments (1) | Permalink

Saturday, December 30, 2006

   "Ground control to Major Tom your circuit's dead, there's something wrong"
I've been walking around feeling as though I am about to have a heart attack. My chest isn't hurting or anything like that, it's just this constant feeling of impending dread and doom ... like I know my time on earth's about to expire and so I feel like I'm having a heart attack because I'm not in a car and can't get in a car crash so it can't end that way. Mom says that I should expect to have anxiety headache's for the next week. ~_~ Thrills and giggles. Not really. *deep breath* *sigh* Just wanted to get that off my chest. Figured sharing some of that anxiety with everybody who still reads this might actually help ease the load. More updates to come.

'Til next time ...

I love you Batman @}--',--
Comments (0) | Permalink

Friday, December 29, 2006

And the grades are in ...
Well, I passed this semester very well.

German - B
European Civ - B+
US History - A
Old Testament Prophets - A
Philosophy of Art - A

I would be perfectly happy, except I lent a classmate my religion notes and he still hasn't returned them yet. As a religion minor they are a bit important for the rest of my college career. I have a lot of good historical and linguistic notes in there as well that I'll need in the future. I figure, after New Year's I'm going to try and get in contact with him and ask for my notebook back. I need it soon.

In other news: I've moved up in the world! I have a gaming system! It's Nintendo 64, so yeah, it's old as far as technology is concerned but it's very new for me. Most importantly, I have access to a Zelda game (Ocarina of Time) and can thus join the craze. I've already gotten a crick in my back from not moving for three hours straight playing (right after getting over a fever no less). Batman shook his head and he and his mom called me an amateur. I don't mind though.

Oh! One of the coolests presents I got this year was AFI's live DVD I Heard a Voice if you're a AFI fan I suggest you get the DVD. It's the next best thing to actually seeing them in concert.

I've got more news coming up ... but that will be for a later post.

'Til next time ...

I love you Batman @}--',--
Comments (0) | Permalink

Thursday, December 7, 2006

   Oh My Bloody Heavens! AFI!!!
I finally got to go to an AFI concert! I went down to Atlanta last night with a friend of mine (and his friend) for the Mistletoe Jam just to see them. They met and exceeded every single expectation! AFI was like a Death By Chocolate Cake taken form in music. They were fabulous! The energy and excitement and ecstacy and adoration was just amazing! Davey was just singing his heart out and all of us fans were singing our hearts out right back at him. It was the greatest concert experience I have ever had. I only wish I could have seen them play earlier in the week at Charleston. One of the guys I was with had never even heard of them before, and the moment that "This Time Imperfect" started playing (just the chords, not even the song proper) he wanted to know what it was because it moved him so much. That and "Miss Murder" were his favorites. My friend loved "Love Like Winter" and both enjoyed "Silver and Cold." I was in ecstacy the whole time screaming and singing and jumping and daning and thoroughly enjoying myself. I was happy as a clam, tickled pink, etc. etc. I felt that I could die happy after that. I was so utterly fantastic. If any one who is reading this ever has a chance to go see AFI play live DO IT!! It is well worth every minute.

'Til next time ...

I love you Batman @}--',--
Comments (2) | Permalink

Monday, November 27, 2006

   *BUWAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!* And much more evil laughter!
WE DID IT! WE DID IT! BRAGGING RIGHTS ARE OURS! FOR 365 LOSERS! THAT'S RIGHT THE GAMECOCKS KICKED THE TIGER'S LILLY WHITE TAILS! YOU CAN'T LICK OUT COCKS YOU STUPID, PATHETIC CUBS!

"WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS MY FRIEND
AND WE'LL KEEP ON FIGHTING TILL THE END
(*guitar: bow now now!!*)
WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS
WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS
NO TIME FOR LOSERS 'CAUSE WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS
OF THE WORLD!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
- Queen

YES! YES! THIS YEAR, IS A WONDERFUL YEAR TO BE A GAMECOCK!!

'Til next time ...

(We'll still be Champions)

I love you Batman @}--',--
Comments (1) | Permalink

Friday, November 24, 2006

   working towards exhaustion
It's finals time. That means that time suddenly becomes very important and suddenly lacking. Papers to be written, projects to produce, and exams to study for. Tuition to pay for, dorms to pay for, and more and more things to do.

And graduate school to think of. I need to work on my essay(s) to apply as well as studying for the GRI sometime in the near future.

I'm very, very tired ... but hopefully I'll be able to get it all done.

'Til next time ...

I love you Batman @}--',--
Comments (0) | Permalink