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Birthday
• 1988-12-26
Gender
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Female
Location
• Colorado
Member Since
• 2003-08-07
Occupation
• Student (Sophomore)
Real Name
• Kari
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Achievements
• 16 Years of Life and Finding true love and having the feeling be mutual...
Anime Fan Since
• 2003
Favorite Anime
• Cowboy Bebop, Trigun, Angel Sanctuary,Hellsing, and some other ones as well
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• To be a Forensic Pathologist and to Marry Chris
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• Listening to music, Reading, and writing poetry, spending time with Chris
Talents
• I play the piano and write poetry
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Monday, May 16, 2005
What to do anymore, I just don't know.....
Well this weekend ended out wonderfully... not, I can't stand this shit anymore! My whole family is starting to fall apart and I'm starting to think that it’s mostly my fault! I can't seem to get along with them to save my ass any more. The only one that I can get along with is my mom, that's when I don't piss her off or make her frustrated. All my sister and I do is fight anymore (That is when and if she is ever around...) I can't even trust her anymore, I can't tell her anything, because she has become a nark, it's almost like she has regressed in age instead of becoming more mature! We got in big fucking fight on Sunday, all because she wouldn’t help me do the dishes (Oh yeah it was wonderful Chris got to hear it all because I happened to be on the phone with him when all of this started), she has got to be one of the hardest people to get along with. She doesn’t do anything anymore; all she does is bitch and make everyone else’s life a living hell! And then there’s my dad, who is such an asshole sometimes! But other times he can be the most fun person to be around. I swear though the only thing he cares about anymore is if the house is clean, and I am dead fucking serious! Half the time when anyone gets into a fight with him anymore it all started with the house not being as clean as it should be by his standards. And according to him I have such an attitude and “who the fuck do I think I am?” And then There is my poor mom who has to be the neutral one in the family so we don’t all kill each other, I feel so bad that she has to be our counselor (if you will) I can’t even imagine what kind of stress that puts on her…I can’t wait till I can move out! Oh! And the other day my dad said something to me that I think that he might end up regretting, I had asked him if it would be alright if Chris and I went and saw a play, and he told me “yeah whatever, your such a pain in the ass, I can’t wait till you graduate and then you can just get out of my hair.” (Or something to that extent) Yeah let’s just say I’ll remember that and I hope he does too when I go to tell him that I’m moving out as soon as I turn 18. And another thing that irks me to no end about my family (with the exception of my mom) I know that neither my sister nor my dad like Chris, especially my sister. What pisses me off most about that is the fact that neither of them would even think about taking the time to get to know him! They are both so judgmental! They just don’t understand…
"No matter how hard I try
You’re never satisfied
This is not a home
I think I’m better off alone
You always disappear
Even when you’re here
This is not my home
I think I’m better off alone"
-Three Days Grace "Home"
Lately everyone (other then Chris) has been pissing me off, I don’t know if it’s just me or what, but it’s amazing! I have just finally realized how two faced some of my friends are, it’s amazing to me how quick they are to talk shit about someone. I used to think that I had gotten away from that when I stopped hanging out with all of the popular girls, but as I can now see I was very wrong. They are just as bad, everyone is the same really, and it’s all such bullshit
This has been the hardest year of my life so far, and it just seems to be getting harder by the day, My grades are for shit, I can’t get along with my own family, my friends (if you can even consider them that) are assholes, I’m getting fat , and the list just goes on and on. You know who ever it was that said that their sophomore year was one of their toughest years was 100% right.
I just don't know anymore, Chris is the only person that I know I can trust, and that I know truely cares about me, I mean I know my family loves me, and don't get me wrong, I love them all dearly, but sometimes, I'm just not sure if they care or if the even want to be involed with me, maybe I'm just taking it too far, but just don't know what else to think anymore...
~Adios
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