Tuesday, May 8, 2007

Okay, I'm in need of some help here, please...
Okay. One of my friends, we'll call her Kristina.
Is dating my other best friend, we'll call him Tony.
(Haha, Ew... Kris and Tony dating... Thats yukky.... Anyways...)

Prologue...

So Kristina and Tony have dated before, okay?

Kristina cheated on Tony numerous times.

I'm stuck in the middle, because Kristina told me of all the times she cheated on Tony.

I figured, the right thing to do would be to tell Tony about it all.

So I do, and Kristina finds out and starts bitching at me about it.

Words get said, fists fly, we're all friends again.

Then, at our Festival Concert...

Afterwards, when we were watching the Senior tribute, Kristina tells me Tony asked her back out, and she said yes.

I got pissed, because of the last time they dated.

I said something like, "No, you're not going to do this again 'Kristina.' Remember last time how I was stuck in the middle of your guys' fights and everything? Yeah, I'm not going to risk all three of us ruining our friendships with each other so you can be with the boy you apparently 'love.'"

She said, "okay, I'll break up with him."

So she does, and I look back to where they were standing, and she's all crying. Tony gave me a nasty look, and walked over to me.

He said, "I know you had something to do with this, Shelby."

He bitched me out. I finally told him everything about how it's going to be like last time, she'll cheat, I'll know, I'll be stuck again.

Either loose a friend for telling, or loose a friend for hiding it from him.

He said, "fine, we wont date."

One day talking to a friend

He says he thinks Kristina and Tony are dating again. So I asked him why, he explained, and it made sense.

One day in Band Class

It was a free day, we were playing cards. Kristina went to the bathroom. I asked Tony if they were dating again. He said, "yes, but don't tell Kristina I told you. She doesn't want you to know."

So I'm like, okay, what the hell? I tell her everything, and she wont even tell me she's dating one of my best friends again? Okay, whatever.

I ask her about it, she says no. I nod my head yes, and she finally admits she is dating him.

So I get pissed, firstly because both of them went behind my back. Secondly, she lied to me, to my freaking face. And thirdly, they didn't break up at the concert, they stayed together and lied to me then.

One day at "Kristina"'s house

This guy, the guy Kristina cheated on Tony with, came over.

Kristina and I were at her house before a marching band thing. This guy, his name will be Adam, sat on the couch with us.

He said, "so... Two girls and a guy, what to do?"

The next part I'm not especially proud of, especially if you know who "Adam" represents...

Adam said, "everyone here is single, right?"
Me, yes.
Kristina, "Uhm, no..."

So you know what? She fools around with him anyways. It's not Adam's fault by any means. Kristina is the one who said, "yes I have a boyfriend, but screw him lets fool around anyways."

I didn't stop her, it's her own decision...

So things happen, we go to band camp, the end.

Night of the school play

Tony still doesn't know about the day before band camps, and Kristina had no intentions on telling him.

So I go to talk to my friend, Amber, who was the person passing out programs. Well I talk to her, I go sit down. Adam comes in, walks down past us, then goes back to the back.

I say to Kristina, "I'm gonna go talk to 'Adam.'"

She goes, "you stupid slut," and kicks me.

All I did was say "hi" to him and his friend who I also knew.

Then I talk to Amber more, she eventually says the play is about to start, go sit down.

I go down to where we were sitting, and Kristina and Tony gave up my seat to these old people.

So I'm like shit, I gotta sit with Adam. So I do, Kristina doesn't talk to me for like, 3 days.

And right now, I'm pretty freaking pissed. Wouldn't you be too? I mean, lying to my face twice, calling me the slut when she cheated on Tony many times with Adam, and then forgetting about me like I don't matter?

One night...

I was texting Tony. I was like, "there is something I need to tell you, I know it's the right to do, but I don't think I can."

Tony: "Well, tell me if you want to. Whats it about?"

Me: "'Kristina' and 'Adam.'"

Tony: "...Tell me please."

Me: "I'm really really sorry 'Tony,' but she cheated on you with 'Adam.'"

Tony: "...Wouldn't be the first time... Thanks for telling me, you did the right thing. Please tell me if she does anything else, okay?"

Me: "Yeah I will. Thanks."

And we keep talking about things and yeah.

Movies... Spiderman 3 by the way... Totally rocks!

Well, Me, Kristina, and an other friend (named... Samantha) went to see Spiderman 3.

Sam likes Kristina.
A lot.
Kristina cheated on Tony the first time they dated on Kristina and Adam.
Tony still doesn't know about that...

Well, half way through the movie, I look over at them.

Sam has her arm around Kristina, and Kristina is all lovey dovey on Sam. I dunno if they kissed or anything but still, the fact of the matter is, Kristina has a boyfriend.

So I'm like, what the hell ever... Why bother trying to make her stop.

Then Kristina looks over at me and say, "You shut up, you shut the hell up."

I figured, she meant it like, "You shut up, I know I gotta boyfriend. Shut the hell up, don't tell him."

So, I tell Tony, like I promised him I would if she pulled anything again. He's like okay. I'll remember this.

Now its now

Like I said, the same thing would happen like last time. Last time I was all alone, because no one know about mine, Kristina, and Tony's arguments and disagreements between each other. They had each other to lean on and get help from. I had myself. I want this time to change, because I know something is going to happen and Tony is going to let Kristina know that I told. Kristina will go off like last time, and we're going to fight again. I need someone to help me through it this time, but I don't know of any one besides us three that know every point of view from the story. Right now you're only getting my point of view. Kristina and Tony have their own point of views. It pisses me off though. Tony should have known this would happen (again). He should have know it would have happened the first time. Kristina cheated on her (now ex-girlfriend) with Tony. How can you trust someone to not cheat on you, when you helped them cheat, you know? I don't know. Tony needs to see that Kristina isn't the love of his life. Kristina needs to see that she needs to grow up and get over herself. She is causing so much unwanted, and unneeded drama. No one likes it, I mean hell I'm right damn sick of it. Rawr. I need some guidance.

Was telling Tony the right thing?

What do I do if Kristina finds out I told?

What will I do if they turn on me again?

I don't freaking know. I'm under enough stress as it is right now with work and school and issues at home. I don't want or need these two turning on me again. Those two, the real Kristina and Dustin are the only one's that at least half way understand me, I can't loose half my true friends in a sweep... I'll loose all sanity...

And (the fake) Kristina says I don't do anything to solve my problems, hell yeah I try and solve my problems. She's the one screwing around with other boys, and NEVER stops with it. She's causing the drama between her and Tony. Urgh. I don't know if I'm more stressed, pissed, or depressed.

Help?
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Tuesday, May 1, 2007

Rawr Anger Rant!!!!
You're trying to tell me that what I do at work isn't hard? Yeah, having to deal with at least 150 different people, all with different personalities and tolerance of people, having people accusing you of stealing from them, having to lift a 40lb bag of dog food on the highest shelf, dealing with dogs, cleaning up dog crap on the floor isn't hard.

You haven't even worked there long enough to know whether its hard or not. You need to understand that you may not get trained for register because of the needs of the company. But I'm sure you already knew that, I mean according to you, you know all there is to know about the work force. Please. It's your first job you've not even worked there a week yet. I've worked at PetsMart for like a month and half and I still don't understand everything.

Seriously, you're always bitching at me about how I complain about my hours and other crap about work, yet you've worked there less than a week and already complain. You've complained more the past 3 days about your job than I think you think you have. Seriously, every conversation is about how messed up your job is because you're not trained for register yet and some girl that was hired the same day as you is.

Do you think is could be that she's more qualified for register than you? Seriously, Lindsey is more of a people person than you are, so obviously it would be better for her to work register than you are. You can't get mad at the manager for choosing to train Lindsey before you, just because you started the same day as her. Also, if there is just one manager working there, she can't train two people at once, can she?

A manager deals with more than just training new hires. You are a new hire, people aren't going to tailor to your needs, you have to tailor to theres before you're going to be able to get anything done. And you're complaining about how they mess with you and stuff, well duh. You're the new kid, co-workers mess with each other. Hell, my 27 year old manger messes with me all the time.

You get so mad so easily over every little thing. You didn't talk to me today because last night I told you the summed up version of whats above. You can't handle the truth (hah, I think that the Austrian guy Schwarzenegger's quote.... I think). But seriously, you can't. All your friends talk to each other about it. Every time you and a friend get into a fight it's because you aren't listening to what they have to say. And when you do, you come back with some rude comments. EJ, Zac, and Raven have all told me about how every time you and one of them get into a fight, it's because of you over reacting.

And quite frankly, I'm sick of you're crap. Grow up, seriously. You're sixteen and working. You need to show enough maturity to at least admit to yourself that you're immature.

And how you're complaining about how much your job is boring and hard work, think about me. I hated my job as cashier, but my dad told me, "the job is only as fun as you let it be." So I thought about it, and I decided not to quit. And I made my job more fun, and now I actually want to go to work. You haven't even got your pay check yet. I know this sounds kind of greedy, but once you see how much money you make you're going to realize why you still work.

I'm not just saying because I'm sick of all the drama and stuff you cause, but because I know a lot of people's lives would run a lot more easy if you just calmed down and grew up. Sometimes its not always right to talk and voice your opinion. That can get you into a lot of trouble. Example, when those people accused me of stealing $40 from their bank account at the register. If I or Jen for that matter, told them how we really felt, I know I'd get fired on the spot. Hold your tongue, and maybe you wont get into so many fights with friends.

I know if you hold your tongue a little more better, you'll make your mom's life a lot more easier. She's raising 2 kids, she's a single mother, I personally think you're being to hard on her. You want her to always be there and always take you every where for you, well the reality is is that's not what parent's are. Parents aren't your ride every where or the people to tell you you can't leave the house. They are the ones who are to protect you and teach you life lessons. Your mom tries so hard. Our parents talk, believe it or not, they do. Your mom is trying so hard to make ends meet, and you just wont let her go through a day without you getting pissed off at her. And no, it's not just recently that I've noticed this, or that your mom has told my mom about it. In fact, the first time I heard anything about how you treat your mother was in 7th grade. Yeah, like 3 years ago. Any of your friends that have seen how you treat your mom would agree with me. You treat her like crap. And she treats you like crap right back (in your opinion) because that's karma. But you know, I don't blame her for getting mad about you breaking shit around the house and setting the table on fire. You going crazy yelling at her to leave you alone is just retarded. And I'm not saying I treat my mom perfectly, because I know very well I don't. No one treats any one perfectly. Lighten the fuck up on your mom, seriously. I'm sick of watching you belittle her. Look at things from her point of view for once. Maybe then you'll realize that you're treating her like shes less than dirt. The time Lindsey had a break down at your house, you were not only yelling at Lindsey, you were also yelling at your mom. All your mom was trying to do was help you help Lindsey. You may think she doesn't care, but your mom does care. You're the one that acts like you don't care. You get to do so much, but when you get told no on something you act like a spoiled friggen brat. Any of your friends would say that. Your mom does so much for you and you never thank her. You know, saying thank you and you love her every night isn't such a big deal. I do it every night, and I go to bed feeling good about myself, even if I totally royally screwed up that day. Lighten up on her, please. If you stop acting like you own her, then maybe she'll trust you more, now wouldn't she?

Another thing is how you treat your friends. You didn't talk to me at all today because you were mad at me for telling you how I felt. EJ, Zac, and Raven have all told me that they feel like their stories or opinions don't matter when they tell them to you. I feel the same way too. I understand that you want to give your opinion and your stories, but you gotta let us talk too. A conversation does not consist of just talking, it consists of listening too. You have to listen to our stories just like we listen to yours. You yell at us constantly for things we've done wrong. Reality check, You Are Far From Perfect. You have no room to talk when it comes to mistakes, okay? (Then again, neither do I). So don't go telling us we are wrong and you are right on everything. Yeah its natural to believe you're right, but that doesn't mean you have to belittle the other people who believe they are right, am I correct? And a few weeks ago, when I felt like I made the worst mistake of my life, you told me not to think of it as a mistake, its not a mistake just a wrong turn. Making a wrong turn is a mistake, you can turn down a one way street and be screwed for the rest of your travels, you know. And you wonder why you are always getting in fights with your friends, it's because you treat us exactly how you treat your mother and your brother, like crap. You may think you're some wonderful amazing friend and all, but you aren't. I understand being mad and/or disappointed at a friend, but to go so far as to not talk to them? Call me crazy, but I think that's really immature.

Yeah, I'm stating my opinion right now, and as you're reading this I bet you're just so infuriated, aren't you? Good for you, I guess it just goes to show that you are as immature as I thought you were. You don't handle tough situations very well at all. You always over react and every thing. Now I'm just repeating myself, so it's time for me to hush now. Yeah, it took me an hour to type this, oh well.

I say good night every one.
Shelby
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Sunday, March 18, 2007

Every guy...
Almost every guy in my life has hurt me.
I don't see the point anymore.
Josh has completely murdered my heart.
Dustin is ignoring me.
John is dating my good friend.
[[Oh, you all don't know about John. I've liked him since second semester freshman year. We have told each other that we like each other. I'm not the kind that asks guys out, so I was waiting for him. He said he was too scared to ask a girl out. So I waited still, for him to gain the courage. Well, he's dating Lisa now. My "best" friend. She was trying to get John to ask me out, and in the process, she asked him out. So, I get slapped with a big what the fuck, yet again.]]
Andy hates me and is going to get a restraining order against me.
[[He thought I was lying to him about Megan. He thought I lied to get them to break up so I could date him. No, because what I told him was the truth. So we argued and argued, he said things like "these are my last words" and crap like that. Than he wouldn't answer my calls or texts, so I called the suicide hot line, since he was saying suicidal things. They called him, he told them I was the one going to kill myself, and they called me. Blah blah blah, Andy was lying to get me to tell the truth. He said "all I ever wanted was the truth." But he'll lie about suicide to get me to tell? And I've already told him the truth. His dad answered when the SH called, and they told him that I called for Andy. So he wants a restraining order against me. A restraining order, for caring too much?]]
Maybe I do care too much. Eh. I don't know what to do.
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Tuesday, March 6, 2007

Stupid Boy
Every other word from you,

Is a new pain I need to do.

I wish this was all through.

We're done,

But that doesn't mean my feelings are gone.

Poison words from your lips,

And every words I take a sip.

You never cared about me.

Now that I can see,

Yet it still bothers me.

Sorry, you've mistaken me for someone who cares.

Your words temp me to complete my dares.

Dares to cut.

Fall into a rut.

No, too late.

I've sealed my fate.

And at Heaven's gate,

I'll be rejected to my face.

It leads to my downfall,

This life was a painful haul.

God gave up on my soul,

My heart is black as coal.

I lost all faith in myself.

The day you placed me on the shelf.

Just an old toy...

And your just a stupid boy.
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Sunday, March 4, 2007

Welp...
I lost two friends in three days. One of them I have a decent understanding why. I think it's stupid how she ended a friendship over her boyfriend. The other one, I don't understand at all. Dustin stopped talking me. He wouldn't say "hi" to me today, and when I asked him how he was, he said, "pretty shitty, how bout you!?" He hasn't said a word to me after that. He's my best friend, and I want to know what's bothering him so I can help. I mean hell, it's the least I can do after everything he's done for me. I don't think he wants my help, or he doesn't want to talk to me right now. It freaking hurts like hell. I told him I wasn't feeling happy earlier, and he said, "you gonna go cry about it?" That hurt... I said "no," but I did cry. I know he has his ups and downs, and how sometimes he may not want to talk to me... But does he have to ignore me? I feel like I'm losing my best friend... Maybe I'm just over reacting... I hope I am. Dustin is the reason I'm not dead. Now it's like he could care less if I put a shot gun to my face. And the past about month, he's not talked to me a lot either. Gad, it's like Josh except with Dustin. I think I'm heartbroken, because of my best friend. I don't want to lose him... He and a few others are the only things I have in my life. If I lose him, I lose what little sanity I have...

God help me.
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Lets see if you pass...

Take My Quiz on QuizYourFriends.com Can you Ace my quiz? Yes! No Let's Find Out!

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Saturday, March 3, 2007

And this is when I learn, GUYS ARE A-HOLES!!!
(((Warning.... Bad language!!! :D))

Jay: your slept with him?
Shelby: No.....
Jay: well by what your saying it sounds like you are.
Shelby: im not, i dont do that.
Jay: well you always talk about tony, johs, dustin, john, andy... how do i know your not sleeping around? all the guys your with all the time!
Shelby: I'M NOT SLEEPING WITH ANY OF THEM!! Jeese, just shut thehell up about it, okaty?
Jay: no, cuz i know your sleeping with them all.
Shelby: No. I am not. you can ask any of them, they'll tell you im not.
Jay: I dont need to cuz i know.
Shelby: hey shit brick, you say im sleepin around one more time, i will find your mothers room, gouge her eyes out with a red hot fire poker, write my first name in her right socket, and my last in her right socket, then put the fire poker through her throat! say im sleep around one more time
Jay: oh please you dont have the balls to do that. but course touve had enough balls in you to make up for that.....
Shelby: Seriosuly. Say it one more time, and i'll get Zack to freaking hurt you.
Jay: and how do i know your not sleeping with im to!? he told me of all the shit you guys did.
Shelby: Stop, seriously. im not sleeping with anyome, im a virgin.
Shelby: *anyone
Jay: whaterver.
Shelby: so are you gonna shut up now?
Jay: yea why not.
Shelby: Tahnks.
Jay: still.... i know you slept with all them.
Shelby: You just dont stop do you?
Shelby: wheres you proof that i slept with them, huh?
Jay: lets see...... megan is mad at you for sleeping with tony, your always talking about the things you do and places you go with josh and dustin, adn you told about the time you cybered with john and do things like that with him, and all them sectionalls with andy... yeah thats pretty solid proof.
Shelby: Thats not proof at all. okay, one - Magans mad at me because of things i told andy about her, not because of sleeping with Tiony. second, josh is my ex and all we did was kiss. third dustin is my best friend, id never think of doing more than hugging him. fourth Andy has a girlfriend.
Jay: so you dont deny sleeping with tony?
Shelby: what?
Jay: you never said anything about not sleeping with tony.
Shelby: I didnt sleep with Tony.
Jay: you forgot to mention that in your explanation.
Shelby: So?
Jay: Magans mad at me because of things i told andy about her, not because of sleeping with Tiony.
Shelby: what are you playing at?
Jay: read it... "not bcuz of sleeping with tony." SO YOU DID!!
Shelby: No. I didnt.
Jay: You just said it.
Shelby: So!? I still didn't do it.
Jay: whatever. i gots the proof now on my computer. youre screwed, im telling zack and hes got the biggest mouth in school.
Shelby: Yeah, you do that.
Jay: watch me.
Shelby: Jeese you sound likes a middle schooler.
Jay: least im not sleeping with a senior...
Shelby: im not sleeping with him!!! For fucks sake, hes just a freind!!
Jay: with benefits.
Shelby: Hes gotta girlfriend, im not gonna go sleep with him if hews got a girlfriend.
Jay: so you sleept with him when he was single?
Shelby: NO!!!
Jay: juices say otherwise.
Shelby: guys can cum from other ways, not just sex smart one.
Jay: oh ok. so you did sexual thinks wiyh him????
Shelby: Duh.
Jay: haha what a hore!
Shelby: its *whore* not hore. if youre going to call me that, atleast spell it right...
Jay: fine, whore.
Shelby: Will you just shut up!?
Jay: no.
Shelby: why?
Jay: cuz you ike talking to me/
Shelby: Please. you call me a whore and demoralize my name, why the hell would i like talking to you?
Jay: you love me!!! thats why, you said to too!!
Shelby: I said that like ten months ago!!
Jay: still said it
Shelby: and i said it to Zack and Josh too. why would you be anydifferent from them?
Jay: cuz i wont hurt you like thay did.
Shelby: im not going to date you. im not going to ever cheat on anyone again.
Jay: you gotta boyfriend now?
Shelby: Yeahs.
Jay: who?
Shelby: does it matter?
Jay: yeah
Shelby: His names David.
Jay: okay. you know his schedule?
Shelby: If I did I wouldnt tell you.
Jay: you tell me everything else about your life.
Shelby: only cuz youre always online.
Jay: so....... i know more about you than i think dustin knows.
Jay: and he knows your anatomy.
Shelby: No, Dustin knows everything about me.
Jay: n you know all baout his anatomy to dont you?
Shelby: no i dont.
Jay: how many times has eh been to your house?
Shelby: About four times.
Jay: it only takes 5 seconds......
Shelby: 5 seconds for what?
Jay: get an erection dip shit. id figure youd know that.
Shelby: You just don't stop do you?
Jay: i speak the truth.
Shelby: You know what? Im sick of your shit. Serously. where do you get off saying things about me? for reals, you dont even know me, my freidns, or what i do with them. and if i was sleeping aroung, it wouldnt be any of your business, oaky? so just shut it, you haver one more chance to stop saying shit.... if you dont stop im gonna freaking block you.
Jay: fine. ill talk to you tomorrow than. goodnigt.
Shelby: Bye...
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Thursday, March 1, 2007

Shooby Doo Bad Things!!!
>.>

Yeahs well.

I'm kinda retarded.

And I give in too easily to a certain guy.

*twitch*

And it's not like a "future life threatening," type of thing.

If you catch my drift, but stills.

I"m confused. >.>

Its like I'm glad I did it, but then I'm like, "what if Dustin finds out?"

See, the person I did something with is hated by Dustin for things in December and January.

Dustin says if this person tries anything with me, he'll pretty much f*ck him up.

>.<

I know Dustin cares about me.

And I know I might end up going too far with this person.

And I'll come running to him, and it'll be a big "I TOLD YOU SO!" In my face.

Yet I still do this why?

I don't know.

:P

It's fun hehe.

Gad Whore Shut Your Face.

Yeah, Meggy bitched me out when I came home after it.

((I went to her house then left to be with "him."))

<.<

But yeah, it was funny.

Haha, random stupid shite was said during this little thing I did.

Ha. *twitch*

Why does sex make people laugh?!?! O.o

Ha. Sowwy.

>.>

Yeah wells. Dustin will never find out about this.

Unless he randomly decides to get a MyO...

Then I'm screwed ha ha.

:P


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Wednesday, February 21, 2007

GO EKU!
EKU Honors Band weekend again!! WAHOO!!

Yay for crazy nights.

I love chicken pot pie!

Baha.

No one gets it. You would if you were in my room last year.

Right Erin?

Danish Toffee!

Uhm yeah.

So a little (well, huge) argument happened last night between Tony and I.

Comments were said about mistakes in our pasts.

We ended up hanging up on each other.

But today, he called and said, "I'm sorry for saying what I said."

Alls good now.

Except Dustin...

Like, before Tony called, I was still pissed at him and was talking to Dustin about it.

Tony calls, and I tell Dustin, "Tony and I are cool now. He apologized."

Dustin replies than quickly signs off, "......A simple apology is nothing for what he did."

So I don't know. Boys confuse me. ._.''''

Well Shelby wont be on until Sunday afternoon or Saturday night.

So I shall talk to my buddies then!

Much love!

Chicken Pot Pie, out!
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Monday, February 19, 2007

I am gullible, not stupid.
I forgave him for what he did.
And when I apologized, he hid.
I don't care about him anymore.
Hell, he called me a whore.
Why didn't I see is before?
What did he do this for?
Yeah I cheated on you.
What did you expect me to do?
After all I've been through,
and it was all for you!

All of this,
Was just for you.
Fuck this,
It's all I can do.
It's all I can do.

I thought I loved you.
I guess that was wrong.
What I had is now gone.
Ignore me for your pleasure.
I'm just an old treasure.
Erase me from your memories.
It never meant anything to me.
But I know you know I'm lying.
And you can see.
Mistreat me, love but hate?
Our deaths are what but fate.

All of this,
Was just for you.
Fuck this,
It's all I can do.
It's all I can do.

Theres a new boy.
He doesn't treat me like a toy.
He was my decoy,
When you went the wrong way.
Look now, we both had to pay.
This was all for you.
Make you happy, I couldn't do.
All the pain we caused each other.
A loss, why bother?
You hate me so much.
We broke each other's hearts, crunch.

All of this,
Was just for you.
Fuck this,
It's all I can do.
It's all I can do.

My pain and suffering.
My heart, I'm buffering.
Help me fix this darkness.
NO! I don't need this.
Fuck you, fuck this.
Sick of you hurting me.
It's the end, now I see.
This is how it has to be.
It was all for you.
And it doesn't bother you.
All the shit you do.

All of this,
Was just for you.
Fuck this,
It's not what I do.
It's not what I do.

Its done.
Over.
Start clean.
Be happy.
All...
For you.

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