myOtaku.com
• Join Today!

My Pages
• Home
• Portfolio
• Guestbook

Contact Me

Yahoo! Messenger
• bchsbandgirl14

Vitals

Birthday
• 1991-01-04
Gender
• Female
Location
• Kentucky
Member Since
• 2006-07-03
Occupation
• Band student! XP
Real Name
• Shelby.

Personal

Achievements
• EKU honors band 3 years - 8th grade, freshman, and sophomore. Honors society, Wind Ensemble two years, sophomore-clarinet, junior-bass clarinet
Anime Fan Since
• About five years.
Favorite Anime
• No preference.
Goals
• Get top band at EKU Honors band this year =]
Hobbies
• Music, Stuff...
Talents
• I'm a good kisser, tehe.




Jump to User:

myOtaku.com: It Stole My Tuba


Tuesday, December 26, 2006

Nightmares.
My nightmares have come back. I haven't had these since the end of 8th grade. Again, this is something I've never told anyone. See, my nightmares aren't about me, but about my friends. My worst fear, is losing the only ones who truley care and know me... That's why my nightmares scare me so bad. In 8th grade, I had these nightmares every night for about 6 months. Those who knew me then, I'm guessing you can now tell which 6 month time frame this was in? Well anyway... The other night, I had, by far, the worst of my nightmares. For those who don't know, Dustin, Megan, Duck, and Josh are my 4 best friends... They mean the world to me, and (obviously) I would be nothing with out them... What I dreamed, was horrible...

It was like a concentration camp. I was the one leading people to their deaths in the "showers." Well, Duck, Megan, Dustin, and Josh came up next in line.... I remember what they said... Josh - "Why are you doing this? Help us get away!" Duck - "Aren't you going to do something for us?" Megan - "We are going to die if you don't help us!" Dustin - "I thought you were my friend... I guess not." Then they went in, and I could hear them screaming and crying and suffering.... Then I had to move their dead bodies to the creamatory where they would get burned... And I had to watch their bodies burn... It scared the holy hell out of me... I woke up in cold sweat, I was shaking, and I started crying. I wrote down how I felt and (as usual) it ended up as a poem. Here it is -

Dreams gone bad,
Of which is sad.

Scared for my friends,
Even after it ends.

They suffer and die,
My dream becomes a lie.

I am left alone,
In this hellish zone.

My life is my nightmare,
That I cannot repair.

Will I ever awaken,
From a life mistaken?

I watch their pain,
With no personal gain.

Wont somebody awaken me?!
They're dying, don't you see?!

Then I open my eyes.
My nightmare hides.

Basically... It's kind of a metaphor, of my life with out those four (HAH! That rhymed)... And it scares me. I hate watching my friends suffer and me not do anything. That's what every one of my nightmares were about. I know it's silly for me to worry like this over just a dream... But I can't help it. I'm trying to fight it from phasing me, but I'm losing.

Another thing, I don't know why these dreams have come back. Last time, I lost someone I thought was a friend to some stupid whore down the street from him. But this time, nothing between any of my friends and I went wrong or bad... And I don't get it. These nightmares are keeping me from falling asleep at night. I dred night time, because I have to sleep, and when I sleep I dream. When I dream, it's of my nightmares.

I don't know what to do. I'm guessing shut my mouth and tough it out like last time? What's another six months of my life, right?...
Comments (2)

« Home